Title: But Patrocles Died First…
Author: Morgana
Author’s Email:
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairing;
Alexander/Hephaistion
Rating:
PG-13
Summary: Patrocles died when he took Achilles' place at the siege of
Author's
notes:
1.
I remembered the line from the film 'but Patrocles died first…' and then I
wondered what would happen if Alexander were unable to fight and he had to send
Hephaistion into battle instead. Would he fear for Hephaistion's life?
2.
I found three ways to write the name Patrocles: Patrocles, Patroclus,
and Patroklos… so I had to make a decision… I will
use Patrocles.
3.
This is the kind of fic I write when listening to Megadeth
<eg>
4.
Last but not least, I know very little of battle strategies, so please don't
hold it against me when the battle maneuvers in this story make little sense. I
tried, though!
Disclaimer:
Alexander and Hephaistion do not belong to me, duh, but their muses own me. I
should know: they are taking numbers and are lining up at the moment to have
their story ideas told!
Warning: AU.
Beta read by DA, thanks sweetie!
All
remaining mistakes are mine.
But Patrocles
Died First…
"You
can't fight like that, Alexander. You can't use your sword arm and, as long as
that fever you're running makes you feel light-headed, you can't lead the army
into battle." Hephaistion had never shied away from telling Alexander the
truth before and he wasn't going to start now.
Alexander
pushed himself back into the pillows which Bagoas had piled into a corner of
his tent. He rested on several furs as well, but he still felt far from
comfortable. Hephaistion was right of course. He had been negligent in defending
himself during his last attack and had sustained a grave wound to his shoulder,
which thusly had robbed him of the use of his sword arm. To complicate matters,
an infection had settled into the wound, making him feverish. At this point, it
had become impossible for him to remain on his feet for long. His soldiers,
although knowing that he had been injured, hadn't been told just how grave his
injury really was. The army was close to launching the decisive attack against
their enemy and needed Alexander to lead them into battle.
"What
do you want us to do, Alexander? Fall back and retreat?" Hephaistion, who
was seated on the ground next to his lover, wondered if Alexander was going to
do the sensible thing and award their enemy this victory. "I don't want
you to go into battle when you are feeling like this. You can't even raise a
sword, let alone defend yourself against the enemy!" He was worried that
Alexander would die if he launched this attack.
Alexander
shook his head. "Falling back isn't an option, Hephaistion. We have come
so far! If we win this battle these lands will be ours. I will expand my empire
and invading
Alexander's
hands shook and the tremors caused more pain in his injured shoulder. His
doctor had left the wound partly exposed so the puss could get out and wouldn't
poison Alexander further. Although his physician was confident that Alexander
would recover in time, he had also warned him not to go into battle just yet. What
Alexander needed foremost was rest.
"Maybe
we need more time? We can postpone the attack and stay here until you have
recovered." Hephaistion felt worried at seeing the intensely feverish
expression in Alexander's eyes and the layer of sweat that had formed on
Alexander's skin as the body tried to fight off the infection. Those things
should tell Alexander to rest and not to plan another attack!
"We
can't do that," Alexander answered in a weakened voice. His Generals were
already riling up the soldiers and preparing them to do battle the next day.
"I have to lead them. I have to ride up front." Alexander tried to
push himself to his feet, but failed miserably. Disgusted with his weakened
state, he was forced to accept Hephaistion's help so he could lower himself
back onto the pillows again. But, he wasn't going to give up. "The army is
ready to take them on and the soldiers expect to do battle tomorrow."
Hephaistion
noticed the hoarse tone to Alexander's voice and reached for a goblet filled
with watered down wine. He supported his lover when Alexander reached for the
drink. "Sip." Alexander wrapped his fingers
around the goblet, but the tremors worsened and Hephaistion had to place his
hand atop his lover's to help him drink without spilling the wine. "Maybe
Crateros can lead the army?" Crateros had commanded the army before and
seemed a good choice. "Or maybe Cleitus?"
But
Alexander stubbornly shook his head. "The soldiers need to see me.
Crateros or Cleitus' presence isn't good enough." Once he had emptied the
goblet, Alexander closed his eyes and tried to rest. He hated his body for
taking so long to heal. His mind was already planning their next campaign, but
his stupid body was keeping him from carrying out his future plans. They *had* to
conquer these lands before they could venture into
"Alexander,
you will die if you lead the army tomorrow." Hephaistion was brutally
honest with his lover. "You aren't strong enough to defend yourself in the
upcoming battle." Although Alexander no longer needed the support,
Hephaistion continued to gently hold him and savored the moment – the close
contact.
Alexander
was still considering his options. He couldn't retreat, that was a fact. He had
to lead his men into battle, that was another fact, but the problem was that he
was still too weak to do so! Was there a solution to his problem? And if there
was one, what was it? Why couldn't he think of one? His eyes slid shut – even
thinking exhausted him further.
"Alexander, are you
still awake?" Now that Alexander's eyes had closed, Hephaistion had no way
of telling if his lover was still awake or already asleep. He hoped Alexander
was asleep for then his lover might stop thinking about his problems for a
moment. Sleep would also bring oblivion and would help Alexander heal.
"Read to me,
Hephaistion," Alexander commanded in a soft voice, crushing Hephaistion's
hope that he had dozed off. "Read to me about
Hephaistion knew which
book Alexander was referring to. There was only one story that fascinated
Alexander and Hephaistion's expression became soft and tender while uncovering
"The Iliad" from the chest. He carefully stretched out on his side
next to Alexander and, after making certain that his lover was still awake, opened
the book and began to read from it.
Hephaistion's warm and
sensual voice echoed through the tent and relaxed Alexander further, who began
to dream of heroes long dead.
The sire of gods and men smiled and answered, "If you, Juno, were always to support me when we sit in council of the gods, Neptune, like it or no, would soon come round to your and my way of thinking. If, then, you are speaking the truth and mean what you say, go among the rank and file of the gods, and tell Iris and Apollo lord of the bow, that I want them- Iris, that she may go to the Achaean host and tell Neptune to leave off fighting and go home, and Apollo, that he may send Hector again into battle and give him fresh strength; he will thus forget his present sufferings, and drive the Achaeans back in confusion till they fall among the ships of Achilles son of Peleus. Achilles will then send his comrade Patroclus into battle, and Hector will kill him in front of Ilius after he has slain many warriors, and among them my own noble son Sarpedon. Achilles will kill Hector to avenge Patroclus, and from that time I will bring it about that the Achaeans shall persistently drive the Trojans back till they fulfill the counsels of Minerva and take Ilius.
Alexander, who had begun
to doze off due to Hephaistion's soothing familiar voice, suddenly opened his
eyes and stared at his lover. He had found the answer to his problems!
"Hephaistion, stop reading and listen to me!" His fatigue had
vanished and he felt energetic. He *had* to share his idea with his lover right
now!
Alexander's sudden alertness
troubled Hephaistion and the excited glow in Alexander's eyes made him worry
that the fever had gotten worse. He placed "The Iliad" aside and
rested a hand on Alexander's brow to check his lover's temperature.
Hephaistion knew how much
it frustrated Alexander to be injured like this. Alexander wasn't used to being
passive and preferred to be up and about as much as he could. "What's
going on in that head of yours? I have seen that look before." Had
Alexander not been injured, he would be pacing the confines of his tent in
agitation, but all his lover could do now was to give him a look full of
exhilaration.
"*You* will lead the
army in my place, Hephaistion. You are a bit more muscular than I am, but my
armor should fit you!" Alexander excitedly nodded his head. "The men
only need to see someone who looks like me." Yes, this would work! He was
certain of that!
Hephaistion stared at
Alexander as if his lover had lost his mind. "Alexander, if this fever
continues to rise then…"
Alexander cut Hephaistion
short. "This has nothing to do with the fact that I'm running a fever,
Hephaistion. You will take my place. You will dress like me, act like me, and
fight like me. You know me best, Hephaistion. You are the only one who can do
this!"
Hephaistion remained
unconvinced. "Yes, your armor might fit me, but they will never believe I
am you." He would never be able to mirror the way Alexander carried
himself.
"You will have to try
your best, of course, make a *real* effort to pass for me, but I am certain
that you can do it!" Alexander slid his fingers into Hephaistion's hair
and pulled at the strands. "Hephaistion, you *are* my Patrocles, aren't
you?"
Hephaistion didn't like
the direction their conversation was heading in. "But Patrocles died at
"But there is a huge
difference between you and Patrocles!" Alexander's eyes refused to
relinquish their passionate expression and burned his lover with their
conviction. "I will prepare you! We will discuss all possible maneuvers
the enemy can carry out on the battlefield and, no matter what will happen, you
will be prepared! You will know what to do! You will not only survive,
Hephaistion, more than that, you will emerge victorious!" He cursed the
fact that he couldn't shake some sense into his lover. Why couldn't Hephaistion
see that his plan would work? "Bucephalus will carry you! You have ridden
him before! He never threw you off and he will accept you as his rider when you
head into battle!"
Hephaistion wished he
hadn't read that particular section of "The Iliad" to his lover.
Alexander wouldn't have thought of this insane plan if he hadn't. "The men
will notice that it's me and not you. I don't have your appeal, Alexander.
Trust me, they will notice!"
"No, they
won't!" Alexander hissed in pain when he made a sudden movement. His
injury once more reminded him why he had to send Hephaistion into battle in his
stead. "All you need to do is to ride along the front line and act like
me! They will think you are me and they will follow you into battle. All you
have to do is stay alive!"
"All I have to do is
stay alive…" Hephaistion knew perfectly well that he would make an
excellent target. The enemy knew that Alexander had been injured and would
attack him furiously, as they would want to take him out once and for all. "Alexander,
I'm not you. I don't possess your fighting skills or your strategic insights.
What will happen if they make a move we didn't discuss? What if I crumble under
their attack? I would take our army down with me!"
"Have some faith in
yourself, Hephaistion! You have fought alongside me for many years and your
fighting skills kept you alive so far. At least this time, you won't have to
worry about watching my back." Alexander was convinced that his scheme
would work, if only he could convince his lover to go along with it. Maybe he
had to play a little dirty in order to get what he wanted. "You always
said that you were my Patrocles, Hephaistion. If you meant that… if you ever
loved me, then you will do this for me – for the army – for us!" He wasn't
fighting fair, but he needed Hephaistion to understand and to do this for him.
Hephaistion sighed.
"Can't I convince you to use someone else instead?" He doubted his
ability to lead the army for a valid reason. Alexander tended to keep him away
from the battlefield and, when he did get a command, it was always a shared
command. One of the senior Companions would make all of the vital decisions.
"Who? Crateros? He can't pass
for me. Neither can Antigonus or any of the other Companions. Even if they fit
into my armor, Bucephalus would never allow them onto his back. And even more
importantly, they don't know how to act like me. You do." Alexander gave
Hephaistion a hopeful look. He fingered a strand of Hephaistion's long, auburn
hair and said, "The helmet will hide your hair from view. We will have to
put it up, but that shouldn't be a problem." He nodded his head again; he
could already picture the way Hephaistion would look when wearing his armor and
helmet.
"Alexander, this
won't work!" Hephaistion was growing desperate. Why wouldn't Alexander
listen to him?
"It will… You only
need to be careful not to stare at the same person for too long. Those blue
eyes will give you away. If they see those blue eyes they will know that you
are Hephaistion and not Alexander."
Hephaistion had realized
by now that he would be unable to change Alexander's mind and resigned himself
to the situation. He still didn't like the plan though. "Are you going to
tell the Companions about your plan?"
Alexander slowly shook his
head. The pain that radiated from his shoulder was now also traveling up his
neck. "No, I won't. They might hesitate to follow you into battle. I can't
take that risk." His Companions – all of his men – had to believe it was
the King leading the attack.
Hephaistion swallowed
hard; his nervousness was still growing. "What if I fail, Alexander? What
if I fail you and lose the battle?" He knew how limited his fighting
skills were, how minimal his strategic expertise.
"You won’t,
Hephaistion. You won't fail me. I have faith in you." Alexander caressed
his lover's face and then trailed the outline of Hephaistion's bottom lip with
a fingertip. "You are better than Patrocles, Hephaistion. You can do this.
You will emerge the victor."
"The Generals will
notice that I am not you." Hephaistion was desperately trying to think of
ways to get through to his lover. "Won't they notice that Hephaistion
isn't at Alexander's side?"
"I don't plan on
giving them much time to think, Hephaistion. Everything will happen within mere
seconds." Alexander felt pleased now that he had come up with this plan.
"I want you to try my armor on right now." If it didn't fit, he had
to abandon his plan.
Hephaistion reluctantly
complied. He got up from the ground and put Alexander's armor on. It fit, even
though it was a little bit too small for him, but Alexander reckoned no one
would notice. His Generals wouldn't get any time to worry. "Put my helmet
on."
Hephaistion wavered this
time. "Alexander, must I really do this?" It almost felt sacrilegious,
wearing Alexander's armor.
Growing more excited now
that the armor fit, Alexander said, "Do it, Hephaistion!" Alexander
had managed to push himself into a seated position and devoured the sight
before him. Yes, now that his helmet obscured Hephaistion's hair, his lover
could pass for him. "It will do. They will think you are me." Now
that his curiosity had been sated, Alexander gave his lover permission to
remove armor and helmet and to return to his side.
Feeling relieved, Hephaistion
quickly removed Alexander's helmet and armor. He didn't feel worthy of wearing
it.
"Come, sit with me.
We need to discuss the upcoming battle." Hephaistion didn't excel at
battle tactics, but Alexander was confident that he could prepare Hephaistion
in such a way that his lover would be able to counteract their enemy's
maneuvers. Yes, he was certain of it; Hephaistion would win this battle for
him!
~~~
"Your master has lost
his mind." Hephaistion mumbled the words into Bucephalus' ear. He was
rubbing the mighty warhorse's nose and the stallion had moved closer to him,
eager to be petted. "Sometimes I wonder if Alexander has read "The
Iliad" too many times. Does he really think he is Achilles?" Their 'I
am your Patrocles,' and "I am your Achilles' had started off as a
childhood game, but had turned serious later on.
Hephaistion slid his hand
along the stallion's neck and then resolutely jumped onto the horse's broad
back. Bucephalus tensed beneath him for one long moment, but did not throw him
off. The stallion scraped his hoof over the earth and moved forward. None of
Alexander's pages dared to approach the stallion and so Bucephalus always had
the freedom to move about as he pleased. Now that he had a rider on his back,
the war horse was eager to run.
Hephaistion let him,
knowing they had to move as one tomorrow. Alexander and Bucephalus always
presented a unity to the army and he had to give the same impression tomorrow.
/I can't believe I'm actually going along with his plan./
But what choice did he have?
Hephaistion buried his
fingers in Bucephalus' mane and pressed his heels into the horse's flanks. Night
had long fallen over the camp; it was pitch black and no one saw him steer
Bucephalus away from the camp.
No one,
but Bagoas.
~~~
"Bagoas?" Alexander had just awoken from a dream-filled sleep.
He blinked his eyes several times, trying to clear his head. "Water…"
Bagoas immediately
presented him with water and Alexander greedily downed it. "Where is
Hephaistion?" Alexander had long realized Bagoas' 'talents'. The younger
man might act silent and draw little attention, but Bagoas knew everything that
went on in the camp. The only thing that mystified Alexander was that he didn't
know just *how* Bagoas accomplished that.
"I saw him jump onto
Bucephalus' back and take off." Bagoas assisted Alexander to acquire a
more comfortable position amidst the pillows and then checked on the wound.
There was no new puss emerging from the wound and the injury seemed to be
healing. But that realization didn't stop Bagoas from applying the salve the
doctor had left behind. He gently rubbed it onto the affected area.
Alexander knew better than
to feign ignorance. "You overheard us discuss my plan." Bagoas was
always close, eavesdropping, and gathering information.
Bagoas nodded his head
once. "I did."
"Do you think it will
work?"
"Yes, I do."
Bagoas sat cross-legged beside Alexander and probed his King's eyes.
"Hephaistion can pass for you."
"But?" Alexander valued Bagoas' opinion in this matter.
He had found before that Bagoas could bring interesting details into a
discussion which would never have occurred to him otherwise.
"You can't let him
address the army. He will have to appear in a flash."
"I agree."
"How are you going to
accomplish that, Al'skander?"
Alexander merely grinned.
"Let me worry about that, Bagoas." But then his grin faded and he
gave Bagoas a serious look. "You can tell no one, Bagoas. This plan will
only succeed if we manage to keep it a secret."
"I will tell no one, Al'skander." Bagoas gave Alexander a seductive smile.
"Will my services be required tomorrow?"
Alexander's grin returned.
"Yes, you have to help Hephaistion dress himself. Also, make certain that
not a single hair shows from beneath the helmet." Alexander paused,
thought things over, and then added, "It might help create a more
believable illusion if he also wears my cloak." Alexander had already planned
everything and was now about to give Bagoas his instructions. "Let the
news leak out that I'm feeling better and that I will need our army tomorrow.
Also let our soldiers know – very subtly, of course – that I am not strong
enough to hold a speech, but that I *will* lead them into battle." Bagoas
would get that rumor started in such a way that the whole army would know that
he was faring better when the morning came.
~~~
Hephaistion rubbed
Bucephalus dry and made certain the stallion had enough food and water for the
night. "I will see you in the morning, my friend." Knowing Alexander,
Hephaistion suspected his lover would want to launch his attack early.
~~~
He made his way back to
Alexander's tent and walked up to where his lover was resting. Alexander's eyes
were open and alert, but his face was pale and sweat shimmered on his brow.
"Ah, there you
are." Alexander raised his good hand and waited for Hephaistion to take
his place at his side. "I can't move any closer to you…" Moving about
would hurt him too much and so Hephaistion sat down close to him. "Bagoas
told me that you took Bucephalus for a ride."
"Bagoas knows too
much." Hephaistion didn't see the eunuch anywhere, but was fairly certain
that Bagoas heard every word they were exchanging right now.
"Bucephalus gave you
no trouble?" Hephaistion being able to ride his stallion without any
reservations was vital to his plans.
"He accepts me… But I
don't know how he will react when carrying me into battle." Hephaistion
gently stroked Alexander's hair and pressed a kiss onto his lover's brow.
"You should rest, not talk."
"There is so much we
still need to discuss!” Before Hephaistion had left, they had discussed battle
strategies, but Alexander wanted to go through them again. "You need to
know what to do when the enemy launches a surprise attack, Hephaistion."
"Then tell me."
Hephaistion knew that he wouldn't be able to change Alexander's mind and, now
that his lover was making him follow through with this plan, he had better be
prepared.
~~~
"Stand still."
Bagoas was struggling to hide Hephaistion's long hair beneath Alexander's
helmet and Hephaistion wasn't helping, nervously shuffling his feet and thus
sabotaging his attempt to deal with the unruly hair.
"Hephaistion, do as
he says," Alexander ordered, enjoying directing the scene a bit too much.
"We can't take the risk of your hair tumbling down." He chuckled, but
the movement caused the pain to flare in his shoulder and he was once more
reminded that he was sending Hephaistion into a very dangerous battle in his
stead. He had gotten himself injured; if even Alexander the Great couldn't keep
himself safe, who said Hephaistion would return to him without injury? /What if
he won't return to me? What if he will die? Like Patrocles did?/ Alexander grew tense and suddenly wondered if he should
follow through with his plan, but did he have a choice? No.
"Done." Bagoas took a step away from Hephaistion and
checked his handiwork. "The only thing that will
give you away are your eyes." Vivid blue eyes shone from beneath the
helmet.
Hephaistion drew in a deep
breath. "Alexander, it's not too late yet to reconsider." It wasn't
that he feared for his life as much as he feared he would disappoint Alexander
and their men. He was no leader – he was content to ride and fight alongside
his lover.
"Bagoas, leave us. I
want to speak with Hephaistion in private." Alexander needed a moment
alone with his lover. Bagoas left and Alexander gestured for Hephaistion to
approach.
Hephaistion lowered
himself onto his heels beside Alexander and looked deeply into his lover's
eyes. He saw faith, confidence, trust, but also fear there. "What worries
you?"
"That
you might not return to me. I
don't want to think of your death, but…" Alexander raised his good hand
and touched Hephaistion's face. Now that his lover was wearing his armor, cloak,
and helmet, there weren't that many places left he could touch and still feel
skin beneath his fingertips. "Promise me that you will come back to me,
Hephaistion."
Hephaistion had grown
nervous at hearing his lover's words and tried to avoid Alexander's gaze, but
another caress bestowed onto his cheek made him look his lover in the eye. "I
can make that promise, but I don't know if the gods will allow me keep
it."
"Hephaistion,
I…" Cursing the fact that his injury kept him from leading his men into
battle himself, he very slowly and carefully sat upright and briefly pressed
his upper body against his lover's. He couldn't stay in that position for long
though as his shoulder started to throb. "If you fall, I will follow you
into death. You know that."
Hephaistion moistened his
lips, feeling emotional after hearing that admission. "Then I have a very
good reason to stay alive."
"Go and make me
proud, my Hephaistion." Alexander had almost called him 'my Patrocles',
but he had reconsidered at the last moment. Patrocles had died when he had
taken his lover's place, Hephaistion wouldn’t – Hephaistion would succeed where
Patrocles had failed.
~~~
Hephaistion gripped the
reins hard. Bucephalus had once more accepted him as his rider and Hephaistion
was careful not to raise his glance to the Companions. Instead, he did as
Alexander had instructed, raised his sword, released a battle cry, and dug his
heels into the stallion's flanks.
Bucephalus broke into a
gallop and took him quickly to the front line. The soldiers surrounding him
released a load roar and then banged their swords against their shields in
greeting. Hephaistion felt the energy surge coming toward him, originating from
the soldiers, and raised his voice even louder. The red feathers of his plume
showed the soldiers where he was located and they followed him downhill to meet
the enemy.
Next to him appeared
Cleitus. The General called out to him, but Hephaistion remembered Alexander's
warnings not to engage in any conversation and ignored Cleitus for now. With
one eye, he observed the enemy who was now moving forward in one smooth sweep.
With the other, he evaluated the position of his army and gave the sign for
their left wing to move forward. Alexander's strategies always worked well, and
both men had seen no reason to abandon them now.
One quick look told
Hephaistion that their left wing was pushing the enemy toward their center.
That way, the enemy would be crushed in between them, like a hammer crashing
down upon an anvil.
Hephaistion came upon the
enemy, raised his sword, and did his best to emulate Alexander's fighting
style, but he found it hard to force himself to move in a way he normally
wouldn't. He was smart enough to realize that it might get him killed and returned
to his own style of fighting. One look cast from over his shoulder at his army
told him that the soldiers were doing their best to crush the enemy. They had
accepted him as Alexander and his passionate charge had given them the
motivation to fight to the end. The most important part of his work was done.
Now, he only had to make certain that he survived the battle.
~~~
"Al'skander?"
Bagoas knelt beside Alexander and placed a bowl filled with sliced fruit next
to his King. Alexander looked worried and was definitely brooding. The
expression in the brown eyes wasn't as much feverish as it was concerned. /He
worries about Hephaistion./
"What did I do,
Bagoas? I sent Hephaistion into battle and…" He wasn't used to being
helpless and confined to bed. "I need to be out there, fighting, leading
them!" But he couldn't. His injury wouldn't let him. /Is this how the
women feel when their husbands leave to fight in my wars?/
That was a disturbing thought.
"Tell me that he will
survive, Bagoas. Tell me that he will return to me… whole and alive."
Intent on comforting his
upset King, Bagoas did just that and whispered the words Alexander needed to
hear so badly.
~~~
Cleitus wondered what exactly
was different about Alexander. Something *was* different, but he eventually
contributed the change in Alexander's fighting style to Alexander's injuries,
which were said to be still healing.
Alexander had charged the
enemy like he always did: catapulting himself into their midst and the
Companions had followed their King's example. Like he was used to doing,
Cleitus watched his King's back and that made him notice another puzzling fact:
Hephaistion was nowhere in sight. Normally, Hephaistion rode alongside
Alexander and defended his King and lover against the enemy. How odd.
Cleitus hissed as he saw Alexander
was letting down his guard in order to defend himself to another attacker. That
left Alexander wide open for an attack coming from the right and Cleitus
quickly moved forward. Positioning himself between the enemy and Alexander, he
managed to do away with the threat, but then… then Alexander looked at him…
looked him straight in the eye… and Cleitus suddenly realized the truth, seeing
that those eyes were blue and not brown.
/Hephaistion! That's
Hephaistion and not Alexander!/ But what was
Hephaistion doing on Bucephalus' back and leading their army? Cleitus realized
the truth a moment later. /Alexander is still too injured to lead the army
himself! He must have come up with this plan and Hephaistion agreed to carrying
it out!/
"Alexander! They changed
the direction they are marching in! What should we do?" Antigonus, who was
in charge of Alexander's left flank, called out to his King, needing orders.
Hephaistion froze on
Bucephalus' back and took in the scene before him. The enemy was moving his troops in a way which
Alexander hadn't discussed with him. What was he supposed to do now?
Cleitus sucked in his
breath. Alexander would know what to do, but did Hephaistion know as well?
Hephaistion had to make
his decision in seconds and then called out his answer to Antigonus. The General
blinked at hearing the order and then bared his teeth. Yes, that might work!
The army launched another
attack and this time it was aimed at the enemy's center. The enemy, which had
been attacking Alexander's left flank, was now forced to retreat and to solidify
the center, which was increasingly being weakened by the renewed attack.
~~~
"Shouldn't the battle
be over yet, Bagoas? Why is it taking them so long?" Alexander gnashed his
teeth. His hands clawed at the pillows.
"They have only been
fighting for one hour now, Al'skander. Most battles
last much longer." He handed Alexander a cup of herbal tea, which he had
brewed in the hope that the chamomile might settle Alexander's nerves.
"What if he dies,
Bagoas? What if my Patrocles dies?"
Bagoas remained quiet. He
didn't have the answer to that question.
~~~
Hephaistion concentrated
on fighting the enemy and tried to ignore the fact that Cleitus had recognized
him. He felt grateful that the other man allowed for the illusion to stay
intact and that Cleitus wasn't exposing him to the other Companions. They were
winning the battle, and he only needed to keep the illusion intact for a few
more minutes.
~~~
Cleitus continued to watch
Hephaistion's back and realized soon enough that Hephaistion had led them to
victory. The enemy surrendered, threw down their weapons, and pleaded for
mercy. Cleitus shot Hephaistion a quick look and said, "You are the King.
Will you give them mercy or death?"
Hephaistion startled at
hearing Cleitus address him as his King. "Mercy… There has been enough
killing today." He exchanged another look with Cleitus and then steered
Bucephalus away from the Companions. He was fortunate that only Cleitus had
seen through the deception and not the other Companions as well.
Hearing the soldiers cheer
him on, Hephaistion did as Alexander would. He raised his sword, called out to
them in victory, and continued to ride back toward their camp – back to
Alexander.
~~~
"Alexander…"
Hephaistion stormed into his lover's tent and flung himself at Alexander.
During the heat of battle, he had been afraid that he would never see his
beloved Alexander again and he had to touch his lover's face in order to
convince himself that they were both alive.
"You survived! The
gods protected you! I knew they would." In spite of his brave words,
Alexander felt more relieved than anything. He had been scared that Hephaistion
might die and had prayed to the gods during the duration of the fight. He
leaned into the caress Hephaistion bestowed onto his face and placed his hands
on either side of the helmeted head.
Together, they removed the
helmet and Hephaistion quickly gathered Alexander in his arms. He made certain
that he stayed clear of his lover's injuries, but he still managed to press
himself close to Alexander. "Please, don't ever ask me to ride out in your
stead again."
"But you did well! We
won and you're still alive. Look at you! Not a scratch!" Alexander rested
his head against Hephaistion's armored shoulder and finally calmed down. He had
so been afraid to lose Hephaistion. "I told you that you were a better
warrior than Patrocles ever was. Patrocles died, you didn’t."
Hephaistion didn't reply;
he was simply too happy that he hadn't disappointed Alexander... that he had
lived up to his lover's expectations. He just hoped that Alexander would never
demand this sacrifice from him again.
~~~
Alexander tenderly stroked
his lover's hair. After the excitement of the battle had worn off, Hephaistion
had fallen asleep. He was still wearing his armor, but looked comfortable
enough so Alexander hadn't bothered trying to remove it.
Hephaistion had fallen
asleep with his head resting on Alexander's thigh. Snuggling up to each other
was a bad idea right now, as his moving about could jostle Alexander's shoulder
and Hephaistion had refused to take that risk.
Alexander had never
enjoyed running his fingers through Hephaistion's hair more than now. When he
had devised this deception, he hadn't really considered the fact that
Hephaistion could die. He had been *so* convinced that Hephaistion was better
than Patrocles that he had just proceeded. He still thanked the gods that
Hephaistion had returned to him unharmed.
"You should have told
me, Alexander."
Hearing Cleitus' voice
made Alexander look up. His fingers however continued their perpetual journey
through the auburn hair. He had suspected that one of his Companions would see
through the deceit and he wasn't surprised to find it was Cleitus who had
deduced the truth. "Why, Cleitus? Why should I have confided in you?"
The expression in Cleitus' eyes was hard to label, so Alexander remained alert.
"I could have
protected him better if I had known it was Hephaistion and not Alexander
leading the army." Cleitus watched the two of them closely – the way they
were touching. Hephaistion had wrapped an arm around Alexander's knee, which he
was using as a cushion and Alexander continued to run his fingers through the
hair. He had never seen them this intimate before. Normally, Hephaistion and
Alexander were very careful not to show their love in public. This little scene
helped him put everything in perspective and it clarified their loving
relationship to him.
"Is that true? Or
would you have intervened if you had known? Would you have told the others and
have revolted against Hephaistion?"
Cleitus' eyes narrowed.
"Do you think that little of me?" Alexander's expression remained
observant, which led Cleitus to believe that the fever was finally fading. He
decided against answering Alexander's questions. Instead, he said, "Hephaistion
did well, Alexander. He led the men cunningly. He charged the enemy and flung
himself into battle just like you did."
"I am very proud of
him." Alexander's fingertips massaged Hephaistion's scalp and, due to the
touch, Hephaistion rubbed his cheek against Alexander's knee in a show of
affection. Even in his sleep he reacted to Alexander's touch.
Cleitus then said, "There
was one moment when I feared for him. The enemy carried out an unexpected
counter offensive and I wasn't certain Hephaistion knew what to do, but he made
the right decision and bought us victory. He awarded the enemy mercy. We
disarmed them and their leader will recognize you as his superior. You have
secured these lands."
"No, Hephaistion
did." Alexander curled his fingers around his lover's and gently squeezed
them. Looking at Cleitus, Alexander said, "No one can ever know that it
was Hephaistion and not Alexander who achieved victory today. No one save you
and I, Cleitus. The men can never know the truth. Not even the Generals."
Cleitus nodded his head.
"My lips are sealed." Hephaistion had gained his respect that day and
he would never underestimate the younger man again. "I will leave the two
of you alone now." The tender expression in Alexander's eyes told him that
his King wanted his privacy.
Once they were alone
again, Alexander caressed Hephaistion's brow with his fingertips.
"Achilles went insane after Patrocles died and I thank the gods that I do
not have to mourn your death like he did." Leaning in closer, Alexander
carefully pressed a kiss onto the crown of Hephaistion's head. "You made
me proud… so very, very proud…"
The end