Title: Ghosts of the past
Fandom: X-Men
Pairing: Remy LeBeau/ Logan
Rating: NC-17 for explicit sexual content or violence
Status: Finished.
Archive: Yes, just drop me a note telling me where you're archiving it.
E-mail address for feedback: morganalebeau@yahoo.com
Series/Sequel: so far it’s a stand-alone story.
Disclaimers: Gambit and X-Men is (c)copyright of Marvel Comics. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: In this story, Remy has found his way back to the mansion after surviving Antarctica. I'm not going to follow canon and there will be no strange entity that saved Remy's life. After the trial he moves into the boathouse and wonders why the hell he's staying in Westchester. At the same time Logan is tormented by nightmares. Distrustful of his memories he loses touch with reality as memories return to haunt him. Unfortunately, it's not only the past that is haunting him, as an old enemy tries to get even with him in real life. In the midst of all this chaos, Remy and Logan find they need to trust each other if they want to survive.

Warning: This story is definitely Alternate Universe!

Ghosts of the past

Even on the darkest night when empty promise means empty hand
And soldiers coming home like shadows turning red
When the lights of hope are fading quickly then look to me
I'll be your homing angel I'll be in your head.

Because you're so lonely in your nightmare let me in
and it's cold out on your stone range let me in
Because there's heat beneath your winter let me in

Duran Duran

Ghosts of the Past
 

Logan shook his head in dismay. “What are ya doin’, bub?” Anyone close enough would have heard the obvious concern in his voice. The motionless figure sat too close to the edge and he couldn’t shake the idea that Remy was considering throwing himself into the lake from this great height. He couldn’t allow that to happen. Soundlessly, he approached the Cajun, who was still staring at the cold water. Now that he was getting closer Logan noticed the watering red on black eyes. That observation hit him hard. Had Remy actually been crying? He knew instinctively that the Cajun wouldn’t be glad to see him.

Remy had been brooding for days and he was determined to finally address the matter. Ever since the trial Remy had seemed lost. Probably ‘cause he’s depressed, Logan thought, making an educated guess. Too many things had happened which had been handled wrongly! If I had been on the BlackBird instead of in Japan, this would never have happened! But he was here now and determined to support his friend.

Sniffing the air told him that a heavy thunderstorm was heading their way and he was determined to walk Remy back to the boathouse. He still didn’t understand why the others were this angry with Gambit. They had all made mistakes in the past. Why did they feel it was necessary to punish Remy this severely? The mere fact that Remy had retreated to the boathouse angered him. The Cajun was an X-Man and had every right to live at the mansion! This was ridiculous. He was going to stop this madness!

As he reached Remy’s shivering form, he halted in his tracks. “It’s cold out here, kid.”

Remy smiled. “Cold no longer bothers me, homme.” He’d been sitting here for two hours. At first he’d pretended that he’d only come here to admire the sunset. But now that the night was falling he’d finally admitted the truth to himself. Life had punched him in the face and he wasn’t sure he could and wanted to get back to his feet. He simply didn’t have the strength to fight back.

“Ya look tired.” Logan failed to keep the concern from his voice. Remy was only wearing a cotton sweater and some faded jeans. The cold gust went right through the fabric and he shrugged off his own coat to drape it over the Cajun’s shoulders. “Ya should go ‘inside.”

“Merci.” Remy trembled, as the thick coat fought off the cold. He never expected that someone would care enough about him to seek him out. Certainly not Logan.

“Wanna talk?” Logan suggested, as he sat on his heels next to his teammate. “I’m a good listener.”

“Merci, Logan.” Remy finally allowed himself to make eye contact with the other man. It had been days since he’d spoken to another living soul. But that conversation had only caused him more pain. “Rogue ended our liaison. I’m a free man ‘gain.”

Logan nodded his head. He’d gathered that much. “I’m sorry, kid.”

“Don’.” Remy pulled the coat closer to his body. “I’ve been lyin’ to myself for too long.” He wondered why he was confiding in Logan. Why wasn’t the man  making an excuse to walk away from this conversation? But Logan’s company felt good. He needed people close, needed the contact and for the last few days he’d lived like a hermit. Logan seemed genuinely concerned and feeling that sensation was all he craved. A little human contact... “I don’ know if she ever loved me, mon ami,” he continued. “Mais she tried to make it work.”

Logan bit his lip, not agreeing with the Cajun, but keeping his thoughts to himself.. “What are ya gonna do now?”

“Am ‘lone ‘gain,” Remy sighed. “Ain’t much I can do.”

Logan looked up and noticed the thunderclouds that were gathering above their heads. Soon, the storm would hit Westchester. “I’ll walk ya to the boathouse.”

Remy’s smile grew warmer. “Merci cher, mais I can get back on my own.” Logan’s concern flowed into his mind and he clung to its warmth. He didn’t want to be alone, but Logan shouldn’t get involved in this. The others would only shun the Canadian for hanging out with the traitor.

“Are ya sure?” Logan studied the Cajun’s face and didn’t like what he saw. Big dark circles disfigured the burning eyes. It worried him that Remy had lost a lot of weight. “Are ya still eatin’ right?”

Remy chuckled. “When I’m hungry, oui.” Conveniently, he forgot to mention that he hadn’t been hungry for days. Slowly he pulled the coat off his shoulders and handed it back to Logan.

But Logan declined. “Ya keep it.”

Indecisively, Remy looked into Logan’s eyes. To his astonishment the blue orbs revealed affection. Logan was truly worried about his well-being! “It’s good to know you care.” The words slipped from his lips and angry with himself, he returned to stare at the lake. Heavy raindrops shattered the surface. He successfully fought the urge to reach out and touch Logan’s skin.

Logan noticed the frustration in Remy’s eyes, but didn’t know what to do about it. The Cajun had made it pretty clear that he wanted to be left alone, but his instincts warned him to keep an eye on Gambit. Something about those eyes eluded him and made him fear for the younger man’s life. “Sure ya don’t want any company?”

I don’ want you to leave me, Remy thought saddened, but he couldn’t speak the words, couldn't reveal how vulnerable he was. “Oui, I’m sure.”

Logan repressed a disappointed sigh. He made sure the coat was back in place, keeping Remy warm, and then he turned to leave.

“Is she still at de mansion?” Remy inquired in a soft tone, uncertain where that question had come from. He didn’t really want to talk about Rogue. You’re stallin’, LeBeau. You don’ want Logan to leave!

“Yeah, she’s still at the mansion,” Logan confirmed. Thunder exploded above their heads and made him want to run for cover. The storm was breaking loose and standing here on this ledge wasn’t a good idea.

Slowly, Remy got to his feet. His muscles ached from the position he had been in for hours and moving about only worsened the ache. “You should go back to de mansion.”

“Only if yer now returnin’ to the boathouse.” Determined, Logan held his position. Lightning crashed above their heads and the electric fork disappeared into the lake. “It’s gettin’ dangerous out here.”

“Oui mère, Remy’s goin’ home,” he said jokingly, amazed at his own reaction. Was he so desperate for contact that Logan’s remark had touched his soul? Nobody else cares for me…

Logan had realized by now that Gambit WAS stalling. But he couldn’t possibly offer walking him to the boathouse again. The younger man had already refused his offer. “Be seein’ ya, kid,” he whispered and started to walk away from him. I'll check on ya later! After dinner, he would return to the boathouse to talk to Remy and to make sure that the Cajun had had something to eat. As he looked over his shoulder, it became apparent that Remy hadn’t moved away from the ledge. “Get goin’!” he called out loudly. Hearing his voice snapped Remy out of his trance.

“Oui mère!” Remy grinned. Talking to Logan had lifted his spirits. At least someone cares! he thought melancholy and ignored the thunder that roared in his ears. As the distance between them increased, Remy repressed the urge to run after Logan. Wolverine was the only one willing to talk to him and he didn’t want to be alone again! But Logan had already disappeared and his hope faded quickly. Although he had assured Logan that he’d head back to the boathouse, he didn’t start walking. Feeling paralysed, he simply stared at the lightning, which hit a tree to his right. Small tremors shook his body, but then he grew motionless again. The storm didn’t faze him. Secretly, he hoped the gust would sweep him over the edge. It would solve his problems.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Logan?” Storm looked up from the magazine she was reading and immediately noticed Logan's furrowed brow. “Is something wrong, my friend?”

“It’s the Cajun, ‘Ro,” he admitted, moving over to the fireplace. The wood exploded in the fire and his hands warmed quickly. “We need to do somethin’ or Remy’s is gonna end up dead.”

Shocked, Storm threw the magazine onto the coffee table. “What?”

Logan growled. “The way we’re treatin’ him is all wrong! Don’t ya see what’s goin’ on?”

“Logan,” Storm placed a gentle hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Remy wanted to move into the boathouse himself. We didn’t force him.”

“That’s bullshit!” Logan’s eyes shot fire. “We X-Men are supposed to take care of each other and what are we doin’ to him?”

Suddenly, Storm’s eyes darkened with apprehension. “Do you really think that… he will try to hurt himself?” Maybe she had been negligent of her friend’s needs. Remy had saved her life, had always treated her like a sister and loved her dearly. A sting of guilt moved through her. Perhaps she had taken the easy way out in not really dealing with what had happened.

“Ya should have seen the look in his eyes,” Logan whispered. “I’m goin’ back this eve… wanna join me?”

Storm hesitated. Remy’s betrayal had caused deep wounds and she doubted that she was the right person to comfort the thief. “You seem to care for him,” she started. “You should go alone.”

“C’mon ‘Ro!” Logan chided her. “The kid needs ya! Needs to know that he’s not alone.”

“Maybe later,” she whispered. First, she had to come to terms with this herself. “But I promise by the Goddess to talk to him soon.”

Logan shook his head in disapproval. “I know yer hurtin’, ‘Ro. But Gambit didn’t know about Sinister’s plans. We came down on the kid much too hard.”

Storm had to admit that maybe Logan was right and she squeezed his shoulder. “Maybe we should talk to the professor about Remy.”

“Ya can do that,” Logan decided. “I’m goin’ back now… I got this feelin’…” His eyes narrowed, looking over at the doorway. What if Remy was still out there in the storm? "’Ro,” he started and then paused, “talk to Chuck and see what he comes up with.” Logan walked into the corridor, suddenly in a hurry. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that Remy hadn’t returned to the boathouse at all.

“Please let me know if he’s fine!” Storm called out after him, but Logan didn't bother to answer. “Goddess…” she whispered upset. Logan was right. She had to talk to Xavier… now!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His fear had been justified. “Damn!” he cursed upset. Remy’s body lay motionless near the ledge. The bony fingers were still clinging the coat and Logan quickly kneeled at his side. “Gambit? Can ya hear me?” His fingers sought and found a steady pulse and heartbeat. Wasting no time, he scooped the larger man up in his arms and headed for the boathouse. It would only take him five minutes to get there. “C’mon, Remy… hold on!” Clutching the young man to his chest he quickly covered the distance. Remy’s clothes were soaking wet and the pale face actually scared him.

“Great! What am I gonna do now?” he wondered softly. Kicking the door shut behind him, he headed for the bathroom. “Gonna get ya outa those wet clothes first!” he realized, suddenly wishing Storm was here too. The prospect of looking after the Cajun didn’t bug him, but Remy needed someone he trusted right now. Needed someone like Storm to take care of him. “Never had any trainin’ as a nurse!” he growled. But he was the only one here and didn’t have a choice.

Remy’s head rested against his chest and as he opened the bathroom door, he took a moment to look at the Cajun. Now that he had switched on the lights, he distinctly noticed the hollow cheekbones. “What have ya done to yerself?” But it was going to stop right here and now. “I’ll take care of ya, Remy. Promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Professor? I need to talk to you,” Storm announced as she entered Xavier’s study. Looking at Scott, she added, “In private.”

Scott took the hint and rose from the chair, regretting that his conversation with the professor had come to an abrupt end. He’d wanted to discuss the current situation involving Gambit more in depth, but Storm’s serious expression told him that she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“We’ll resume this discussion later,” Charles told Scott and gestured him to leave. Then, he turned to Storm. “Yes, Ororo. What do you wish to talk to me about?”

Storm waited until Scott had closed the door before addressing the professor. She didn’t want eavesdroppers spreading the word that she wanted to discuss Remy. “Logan said something that upset me.”

Charles invited her to sit down and nodded his head. “I’m listening,” he assured her. Only recently, he’d realized that he had neglected his students’ needs and was now determined to rectify his past mistakes. Scott’s concern for Gambit had taken him by surprise. He’d never realized that Remy was this depressed and he wanted to talk to the young Cajun as quickly as possible. But there was another matter he felt uncomfortable with, Rogue. No one had asked her to justify her decision to leave Gambit behind. Most members of the team had simply accepted that fact. Warren hadn’t been bothered by this death sentence at all.

“It’s Remy,” Storm said, resolved. “Logan fears for his life.”

“I know Gambit is suffering from depression,” Charles acknowledged, “but don’t you think Logan is overreacting?”

“No,” Storm replied, steadfast. “Logan is now at the boathouse, making sure Remy’s fine.” Growing silent she lifted her eyes and stared pleadingly at the professor. “When did things go wrong?”

Charles didn’t have an answer. “I don’t know, Storm.” Yes, when had he lost control? //A long time ago!// he realized. Scott had sparked his concern for Gambit and that had made him ponder the situation. “Eric the Red's trial happened at a time when we were emotionally very vulnerable.”

“We needed a scapegoat,” Storm summarized. “Needed someone to put the blame on.”

Ashamed, Charles nodded his head. “I’m afraid you’re right.”

“So how are we going to make things up to Remy? This can’t continue!” Storm exclaimed.

“I just talked to Scott about Remy…” Charles noticed her surprised expression. “Ororo, you’re not the only one who’s concerned about Gambit. Scott  takes his responsibilities as team leader very seriously. Jean and he have reached the same conclusions as we just did.”

“We should ask Remy to move back into the mansion,” Storm suggested with a weak smile. “We wronged him.”

“I fear more for the emotional… damage.” Charles didn’t mention that Scott had picked up movement on the security system. When Cyclops had checked that alert, the screen had shown him Gambit, standing on a ledge. That had prompted Scott to seek him out in the first place. It was a pity that Storm had picked this moment to discuss this, as he had wanted to talk to Scott about Gambit.

“What are you saying, professor?” Apprehensively, she leaned forward in the chair.

“Remy was already… mentally instable when he returned from Antarctica. We don’t know how he survived, but it’s obvious the effort sapped his strength. Then there was the trial and he was officially blamed for the mistakes we all made.”

“I see,” Storm whispered. “Logan fears that Remy might try to hurt himself.”

Charles couldn’t lie to her. “I think that there is a chance that Remy has become suicidal. Depression and guilt can drive a man over the edge.”

“Guilt?” Storm repeated. “If what he told us is true, and I do believe he was being truthful, then he should realize that… Oh Goddess, what have we done?” Realization dawned as she allowed in the truth she had pushed away. “Remy’s another victim of the massacre! He didn’t know…”

“About Sinister’s plans,” Charles ended for her. “Sinister used him and we… Instead of being there for him we turned our backs on him, confirming his feelings of guilt.”

Storm’s fingernails buried themselves in the wooden armrest. “Have we been so blind?”

Charles looked out of the window and noticed that the storm had gained in intensity. “Ororo, your emotions…”

“You’re right,” she sighed and started to calm down. The storm lost some of its strength and slowly, the heavy rain stopped. “What’s our next step?”

“Tomorrow, I’ll ask Remy to come to the mansion. I'll talk to him.” Charles reached out and located Rogue in the living room. “We need to address Rogue’s part in this as well.”

“Maybe it would be best to do that before Remy comes here,” Storm suggested. “It would make quite a difference to him to know that we don’t approve of what she did.”

“Would you ask her to come and see me?” Charles didn’t look forward to that conversation, but for Remy’s sake this had to be properly addressed.

“I will,” Storm confirmed and slowly rose from her chair. “Scott and Jean are also concerned about Remy?” When the professor nodded his head, she realized that talking to the couple might be a good idea. Together, they might stand a chance to convince the others of the mistakes they had made. “I will go and get Rogue for you.”

“Thank you, Storm.” Charles drew in a deep breath. “I postponed this for far too long. I'll resolve this now!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rogue dawdled, uncertain why the professor had asked to see her. Ororo’s expression had been mixed, carrying relief and anger at the same time. Softly, she knocked. “Yuh wanted tuh see me, professor?”

“Yes, Rogue, do come inside.”

Hesitantly, Rogue walked inside. Why did she always feel like a schoolgirl, called in to see the school principle? Xavier emanated a kind of authority that irritated her.

“Sit down, Rogue.” Charles took in her appearance. Her eyes looked strangely haunted. “We need to talk about Antarctica.”

A stabbing flow of apprehension moved through her. She had been waiting for this all along. It actually surprised her that Xavier had waited so long to confront her. “What do yuh want tuh know?”

“Why did you leave Remy out there to die?” Inwardly, he was tightly controlling his emotions.

“He told me tuh leave him. Professor. Gambit wanted tuh die,” she stuttered. “It ain’t somethin’ Ah am proud of, but…”

“Did he verbally ask you to leave him to die?” Charles asked, upset that he hadn’t investigated this matter earlier.

“We didn’t talk much,” Rogue explained. “But his thoughts were in my head.” She tried to remember what exactly had happened. “It’s kinda blurry. Ah don’t remember everythin’.”

Suddenly, Charles realized something about his Cajun student. “Rogue, try to remember. What did you hear, his thoughts or did you feel his emotions?”

Rogue pulled up her knees, leaned back into the comfort of the chair and rested her chin on her knee. “Feelings, Ah guess. Ah tried goin’ back once I realized what Ah I had done, but Ah couldn’t find him.”

You’re hiding something, Charles realized as he probed her mind, but decided to let this issue rest for now. There was something else he wanted to know. “Scott told me that you and Remy decided to end ‘your relationship’?”

“Yeah,” Rogue confirmed. “When Ah touched him, Ah saw the secrets he was hidin’. We ain’t right for each other.”

“Would you care to explain that?” A sad expression colored Rogue’s eyes and he reminded himself that regardless of what she had done that she was still his student. As founder of the X-Men he was eventually responsible for her actions.

Rogue seemed ill at ease and tried to avoid answering the question. It didn’t work and she had to give in, seeing Xavier’s stern expression. “I do love him, professor, if that’s what yuh want tuh know, but… I don’t love him enough tuh forget what he did.” She closed her eyes to keep a tear from flowing down her cheek. “And Remy…  Ah was safe for him.”

“Sorry?” Charles looked confused. “Safe?”

“He can’t touch me,” Rogue explained. “Remy doesn’t love me in a… passionate way.”

“Now you lost me,” Charles admitted.

“C’mon, prof! If we had REALLY loved each other, we would have found a way tuh be together!”

“That did cross my mind,” Charles whispered curiously.

“Ah could have snapped a Genoshan collar around my neck and …”

“Why didn’t you?” Charles moved his wheelchair closer to her.

“Our love ain’t true love. Ah kept him at a distance and he… Ah don’t wanna talk about this any more.” Rogue’s expression grew determined. “Ah don’t wanna see him.”

Charles shook his head. “No, you’ll treat him with respect whenever he’s around. Both of you made mistakes and you have to take responsibility for your deeds like he did.” Briefly, Rogue’s face revealed her true feelings and he cocked his head. “Rogue, don’t hate him. Don’t hate yourself. You’re a free woman now. You can find yourself a new lover… And Remy can do the same.” Rogue appeared to be on the brink of protest, but she swallowed the comment. Charles sighed relieved. The first part of this conversation had gone rather well, but… “I’m going to ask Remy to move back into the mansion.”

“Yuh can’t do that,” Rogue whispered. “Ah can’t stand lookin’ at him all day.”

“You’re team mates,” he pointed out to her. “Settle it.”

“Ah can’t,” she stated and moved away from him. “If he moves in, Ah am movin’ out.”

“That’s your decision,” Charles reminded her. “Nobody is asking you to leave.”

“Ah will think about it,” Rogue said eventually and walked over to the door. “Anythin’ else?”

“No, you can go, but I suggest…” Charles didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence as she slammed the door shut behind her. He didn’t doubt that she would live up to her ‘threat’ and leave the mansion. That’s her choice, yes. I’m not going to neglect Remy’s needs any longer. However, Rogue had given him the answer to a question, which he had ignored for too long. If she'd really felt his emotions… Remy’s shields were too strong for him to penetrate and that phenomenon had always intrigued him. Even Jean had problems shutting him out if Remy set his mind to it. And Remy keeps me out without any visible effort. His conclusion was hard to accept. Can it be that he has mental powers I never detected? No, I never took the time to discover them. He can be an empath or a telepath. Rogue’s testimony however suggests Remy has some empathic powers…

Charles rubbed his temples as he realized the terrible truth. An empath can’t deal with isolation… and that’s what we’ve been doing! No wonder he’s depressed and feeling suicidal! Concentrating, he contacted McCoy and Scott. I need you in my study, now!

Of course, came Scott’s instant reply. McCoy was startled from his sleep, but confirmed he would join them shortly.

“I hope we didn’t do any permanent damage,” Charles muttered softly and then remembered that Logan had gone to check on Remy. “In that case Gambit is in good hands.” Logan would take care of the young man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You wanted to see us, sir?” Scott was the first to arrive and immediately noted Xavier’s driven eyes.

“Yes.” Charles waited for Henry to arrive and then said, “The two of you need to do something for me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gently, Logan lowered Gambit’s icy cold body into the bathtub. “Gonna get ya warm, kid.” A moment later, pleasantly warm beams of water descended onto the Cajun’s body. “That’s a start.” He smiled absentmindedly. It wasn’t like him to talk aloud when no one could hear him, but the sound of his voice calmed him. He’d never realized that he cared this deeply about Remy. Finding him on that ledge had made his heart pound madly, afraid to find a corpse.

The red on black eyes remained closed and carefully, he used one claw to cut away the sweater. Shocked, he stared at the Cajun’s ribcage. He could almost count Gambit’s ribs. “Ya need to start eatin’ ‘again, bub.” After pushing long, wet locks out of Remy’s face, he unzipped the jeans and got rid of them and the underwear. A few scars disfigured the lean body and he couldn’t help wondering about their origin.

Now that Gambit was naked he started rubbing the younger man’s wrists, arms, chest and legs to stimulate the blood circulation. Although his worries remained, he realized how smooth and soft Remy’s skin felt to his fingertips. Remy’s body would have been mouth watering, if only he would gain some weight!

A soft mew escaped Remy’s lips and quickly, he looked up, hoping the younger man was regaining consciousness. “Remy, can ya hear me?”

But Gambit didn’t answer and his eyes remained closed. “Apparently not,” Logan whispered worried. Looking about, he located a pile of large towels. After making sure that the warm water was still cascading down Remy’s body, he lurched forward and spread two towels across the floor. His hands returned to rubbing Remy’s face and shoulders and he tried hard to ignore the anger moving through him. Anger aimed at his fellow X-Men, for letting things escalade like this!

Remy moved beneath his fingers and alerted, Logan tried to wake him. “Remy? Yer back at the boathouse. Talk to me, kid.” But Remy didn’t respond and disappointed, he caressed the younger man’s brow. After wrapping one towel around Remy’s hair, he slowly lifted the young man onto the floor. Immediately, he slung the towels around the shivering body. Studying the pale face, he wondered whether Remy had fainted or had actually tried to jump. Or had a gust of wind swept him off his feet, throwing him onto the muddy ground? He was determined to get those answers.

Tenderly, he slipped his hands back beneath Remy’s knees and shoulders and scooped him up in his arms. Gambit’s head lolled until it finally came to rest against his chest. The only audible sound was their breathing and he concentrated on the young man’s heartbeat. Steady and firm. “Ya’ll make it, Remy.”

As he climbed the stairs, he remembered where the bedroom was situated. Remy needed to rest and in the meantime he was going to give Storm a call. But as he reached the bedroom, he realized that Remy had left the window open and it was chilly inside. The livin’ room was far more comfortable! Making his way back, he pulled Remy closer to his chest. The young man was shivering and had started to mumble incoherently in his sleep. He tried to decipher the words, but had to give up.

He walked into the living room. Yeah, it was cosy and warm in here, and carefully, he placed his precious load on the sofa. Thoughtfully, he lifted the Cajun’s head and pushed a pillow underneath it. He grabbed the blanket that was lying near the fireplace and tucked Remy in. Gambit’s now peaceful expression made him swallow hard. He had just been in time to prevent worse. The mumbling intensified and he feared that Remy had maybe developed some kind of fever. He really needed Hank in here!

Get a grip! Kid needs somethin’ hot to drink to warm him up inside an’ then ya can call the mansion! After making sure that Remy was comfortable, he walked into the kitchen and checked the food supplies, hoping to find some soup. “I don’t believe this!” he sighed exasperated. “Kid’s got nothin’ to eat in here!” Checking cupboard after cupboard the only thing he managed to retrieve were some teabags. “Someone’s gonna pay for this!” he cursed as he boiled some water.

Peeking at Remy, he felt reassured. The young man was asleep and had stopped raving. Logan filled two mugs with steaming hot water and dropped the teabags into it. “Tea… all he’s got is tea!” he cursed and carried the mugs with him to the living room.

After placing them on the coffee table, he lifted Remy and sat down on the sofa. Then he lowered the young man back and pulled him to his chest. Remy still felt cold and needed his body warmth. “Remy, I want ya to wake up now.” He gently shook Gambit’s shoulders.

Unwilling to open his eyes, Remy tried to hang onto the black sleep. His body felt heavy and cold and he trembled violently as he remembered what had happened. His mind was working in slow motion. Thinking coherently took a lot of effort. Was lookin’ at de storm… Logan gave me his coat… told me to go ‘side, mais… I didn’… stayed out dere… He had fainted after Logan had left him. Logan… The man’s presence was almost tangible. Must be clingin’ to dose memories…Now, he had to get to his feet and walk back to the boathouse.

“Gambit? I can smell yer ‘wake. Stop pretendin’ ya can’t hear me!” Logan berated the young man and reached for a steaming mug. “I want ya to drink this.” Concerned, his other hand rubbed Remy’s back. “Remy?”

Startled, Remy’s eyes flashed open. “Logan?” Then he noticed that he wasn’t on the ledge any longer. He was back in the living room, lying down on the couch and Logan was urging him to drink some tea. “Finally lost my mind,” he whispered shocked.

“Drink,” Logan commanded and placed the mug at Remy’s lips. “Small sips only!”

Obediently, Remy swallowed the warm tea. He was trying hard to understand what was going on. As the warm liquid travelled down his throat, he released a strangled sigh. Finally, he’d emptied the mug and asked, “What happened?” Actually, he didn’t really care what had happened. All he could think of was how incredible sheltered he felt in Logan’s protective embrace.

“Why did ya do that?” Logan managed to keep the anger out of his tone. “Ya could have died out there!”

Confused, Remy cocked his head to study Logan’s blue eyes. Fainting on the ledge was the last thing he wanted to discuss. He didn’t want to talk at all! Logan’s anger revealed true concern and he bathed in that warm feeling, pulling it inside and carefully locking it away. That warm concern seeped into every cell of his body and made his skin tingle. Eventually, it drove away the terrible cold.

Why was Remy looking at him like that? There was an odd expression in those red eyes. “What’s wrong?” Eventually, Logan managed to label the sensation in those burning orbs. It was wonder, amazement. But why was it there?

Remy felt too hypnotized to answer that question. He’d always known that he was capable of picking up strong feelings, that wasn’t something new, but this… It had never felt this intense before!

“Whatever it is, looks like it’s doin’ ya some good.” Logan had noticed the blush that had settled on Remy’s face. He removed the towel that had kept back Remy’s hair and, slowly, with infinite care, he untangled the auburn locks with his fingers.

“Why are you here, mon ami?” Remy finally stuttered. No one had ever visited him here in the boathouse. As he tried to raise his right hand, he realized that layers of towels had formed a cocoon around his body.

Questioning eyes fixed on his and Logan smiled reassuringly. “Went back to check on ya, but ya were unconscious. So I brought ya here.”

“And undressed me?” Remy stuttered in a shy tone.

“Yer clothes were soaking wet. Ya might come down with a nasty cold.”

Feeling strangely shy, Remy said, “Sorry for causin’ dis trouble.”

“No trouble, kid.” Why was Remy turning shy all of sudden? “This bothering you?” he asked and loosened his hold a little, but didn’t let go. Remy needed the comfort and the Cajun was going to get it!

“Non,” Remy replied a little surprised. Logan holding him felt nice and he didn’t want this to end, but… “You don’ seem de kind of homme, goin’ around huggin’ people.”

Logan laughed. It was a warm, genuine laugh. “Shows how little ya know about me, bub!”

“You got more tea?” Remy asked gingerly as the warmth inside his body faded.

“Sure,” Logan reached for the other mug and watched Remy struggle to free a hand, which the Cajun managed to slip above the blanket. “Feelin’ better?”

“Oui, merci.” His fingers closed around the mug. He already feared the moment that Logan would return to the mansion. If only the man would be willing to keep him company a little longer, until the cold had vanished from his bones. Can’ deal wid de silence… A silence that had been his constant companion during these last days. He wanted to hear Logan’s voice, to feel his concern and… “Don’ you have to return to de mansion, cher?” he asked, afraid to learn the answer.

“Nope,” Logan whispered in return. “I ain’t leavin’ ya alone in this state. I’m goin’ to call Storm though.”

“Why?”

“”Cause we need some food, bub! Ya ain’t got anythin’ to eat here!” Logan shook his head. “When was the last time ya ate?”

Remy slipped his hand back beneath the blanket and avoided Logan’s eyes.

“Remy?” Logan pushed on, relentlessly.

“Don’ know.”

A growl of discontentment left Logan’s lips. “’kay, this is what we’re gonna do. Ya gonna stay on the couch an’ try to sleep.”

“Can do that,” Remy whispered relieved. Briefly, he had feared that Logan was going to lecture him. Although that wouldn’t have been bad either. As long as Logan was concerned about him, he was emitting emotions and that was all he needed. “What are you goin’ to do?”

“Call Storm an’ tell her to bring us some food!” Logan slid off the couch, pushing the pillow back in place. “What were ya thinkin’? Were ya gonna starve yerself?”

Remy’s eyes dropped shut. “Non, jus’ wasn’ hungry.”

“That’s gonna change now.” Logan moved over to the phone. “Try to sleep.”

Remy briefly opened his eyes. “You’re goin’ to stay here, mon ami?” In the back of his head, he feared the return of that dreadful silence. It had slowly suffocated him during these last days. Things didn’t seem that hopeless now that Logan was here.

“Yeah, bub. I’ll stay.” Logan noticed the relief in the red on black eyes and nodded his head. “I’ll take care of ya, kid.”

Reassured, Remy closed his eyes and gave into his fatigue. Logan had promised to stay and that knowledge made it easier for him to fall asleep.

Logan was about to dial the mansion’s number when someone pressed the door chime. A glance reassured him that Remy was still asleep and quickly, he made his way over to the door. “Cyclops? Hank? What the hell?”

“We’re here to see Remy,” Henry explained and peeked inside. Seeing Remy asleep on the couch he smiled. “The professor sent us to check on him.”

Surprised, Logan stepped aside and gestured them to walk into the living room. “Was about time Chuck started to worry about him!”

Henry turned around and said, “I would like to have a look at Gambit. I gather he isn’t doing that well?”

“Yeah,” Logan whispered. “Go ‘head an check on him.” Maybe he’d missed something and Remy needed medical attention. He wanted to follow McCoy to the couch, but Scott placed a hand on his shoulder, keeping him back. “What do ya want, Cyke?”

“The professor wants me to inform you about the things we discovered.” Scott drew in a deep breath. “Let’s move this upstairs. We don’t want to disturb Gambit’s sleep.”

Surprised by Cyclops’ thoughtfulness, Logan gave in and fell into step beside the other man. “What did Chuck discover?”

Scott gestured Logan to keep his voice down. “The professor thinks Remy is an empath.”

“Empath?” Logan repeated, questioningly. “Ain’t that about reading an’ picking up feelings?”

“Yes,” Scott confirmed with a sigh. “But the professor suspects that there’s a lot more going on. He couldn’t give me any detailed information, but I suspect he’s on to something.”

Logan’s puzzled eyes fixed on Cyclops. “What’s gonna happen next?”

“The professor wants to talk to Gambit tomorrow. Hank is now making sure that Remy will be fine and…” Scott presented the box he’d been carrying. “We brought you something to eat. Hank checked the supply lists and Remy never asked for anything so…”

Logan raised an eyebrow as he went through the box’s contents. “Thanks for bringin’ this. Wanted to phone ‘Ro and ask her to drop off some stuff.”

“Are you going to stay with Remy tonight? Hank and I can stay too if you…”

“That ain’t necessary.” Logan selected the canned soup from the box and nodded his head. “I’ll look after him.”

“Good,” Scott whispered, slightly embarrassed for not having intervened sooner.

“I’m gonna warm up this soup.” Logan didn’t know what to make of Scott’s guilty expression.

Scott followed Logan downstairs and looked at Hank who’d just finished his examination. Gambit was still asleep due to exhaustion and Scott was shocked, seeing the dark circles underneath the Cajun’s eyes. We did this to him, but we’re going to find out what really happened at that trial and why things got out of hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan studied Remy in his sleep. Hank and Scott had left after telling him to escort Gambit to the mansion tomorrow at 12.00 hours. Their first stop was going to be the med lab, as Hank had been concerned about Remy’s present condition. McCoy had already announced a complete physical. He grinned, knowing it would take some convincing to make the Cajun comply. After Hank had finished his poking he would walk Remy to the professor’s study. Scott and he had agreed to stay close during that conversation, in case Remy would suffer a mental break down.

Looking into the kitchen he realized that the soup was ready to be served. He’d used the bread that Scott had brought to make some sandwiches and had even tossed up a salad. “Remy?” He was still amazed that the Cajun had slept through Hank and Scott’s visit. Kid had to be drained. Sitting on his heels next to the couch he tapped Remy’s brow. “Wake up.” Sleepy eyes opened and needed a moment to focus on him. “Fixed us somethin’ to eat.” He closely observed Gambit’s eyes, noticing the growing awareness in them. “Yeah, told ya I would stay.”

A weak smile appeared on Remy’s face. “Merci,” he whispered. Words couldn’t express his gratitude towards this man. “I’ll try to eat.”

“Oh, ya will eat!” He helped Remy to sit upright. “Let’s get ya into the kitchen.”

“I can walk,” Remy replied in a shy tone. But the blankets and towels, which were tangled around his body, made it almost impossible for him to rise from the couch.

“What the heck. I’ve done this before.” Amused, he carefully lifted the younger man from the couch.

“What are you doin’, homme?” Remy whispered, embarrassed. He didn’t like feeling this helpless and considered struggling to force Logan to release him. The madness of that idea struck him a moment later. There was a big chance that he would fall flat on his butt the way he was feeling right now. “You don’ have to do dis.”

“I don’t mind,” Logan said, honestly. “Yer a teammate.” After helping Remy sit down, he then got the food. “Yer gonna eat.”

Remy peeked at Logan’s face and realized that the man was serious. “Or else?”

“Or I’m gonna force feed ya!”

“Non,” Remy replied, a little startled. He freed his hands and reached for the spoon. “What’s dis?”

“Chicken soup.”

Remy smiled. “ I hate chicken soup… ya need to get me some Gumbo!”

“Don’t go there,” Logan admonished him, relieved that Gambit was back to his old tricks. “I’m gonna stay here with ya tonight.”

Slowly, Remy started to eat a sandwich to go with the soup. “You’re goin’ to baby sit me now?” Staring at the soup, he tried to keep the few bites of sandwich down. His stomach wasn’t used to food any more.

“Ya need one,” Logan countered and devoured his share of sandwiches. “I closed the window in yer bedroom. I’ll take the couch.” The towels and blanket were slipping down Gambit’s shoulders and revealed pale skin. “Ya really need to gain the weight, Remy.”

Remy grinned although he didn’t know why. “Logan, cher,” he started and locked eyes with his teammate. “Tell me pourquoi? Since de ice…” His voice trailed off, lost in memories. “It was so cold, mon ami.”

“I’m sorry that ever happened, kid, but ya can’t give up now.” Remy’s swimming eyes took him by surprise. “Why are ya so eager to give up?”

“What’s dere to fight for, Logan? I lost Rogue and…” Quickly, he banished all memories that featured her from his mind. She had hurt him profoundly and even speaking her name caused the wound to open again.

He poured Remy some orange juice. “Drink this. Ya need the vitamins.”

Remy accepted and sipped from it. “I don’ know why I’m still here, Logan. Why am I doin’ dis to myself? It hurts to be here…”

“Things are gonna change,” Logan promised. “Tomorrow yer gonna talk to Chuck and…”

Resolved, Remy shook his head. “Non.”

“What?” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Not goin’ to de mansion,” Remy said in a surprisingly firm tone.

“Ya will go! Even if I have to carry ya!”

That statement made Remy smile. “You really care about me, don’ you?”

“Yeah, I do,” he assured the younger man. “But ya need rest. Now finish dessert and then…”

With big eyes, Remy stared at the slice of cheesecake Logan placed in front of him. “Mais cher, I can’ eat all dat!” Logan didn’t reply, but seeing the expression in the older man’s eyes, Remy took hold of the fork and took a bite. Logan had greatly surprised him, never expecting the man to take the initiative like this. But Wolverine still emitted this concern and it was drawing him closer all the time, cherishing its existence. Mais… Quickly, he checked all his mental blockades. Something was wrong… something was different. Then it hit him. His charm power! Usually he had to tightly control it, making sure people weren’t affected by it, but now… it was gone! Its familiar presence was gone! Shocked, the fork dropped from his fingers.

“Remy? What’s the matter?” He didn’t like the fear on Gambit’s face. Maybe they shouldn’t wait until tomorrow. Maybe he should take Remy to the mansion right now!

Remy sensed the change in Logan’s emotions and forced himself to act casually. “Nothing’s wrong, mon ami… must be all dat food!”

“Yer lyin’,” Logan stated; his senses told him otherwise. “Ya don’t need to lie to me.”

“Don’… “ Remy said, pleadingly. His charm power couldn’t have vanished into thin air! This ability had gotten him in and out of trouble dozens of times! Concentrating, he tried to aim it at Logan, but nothing happened.

“Somethin’ upset ya.” Logan's eyes narrowed.

“It’s personal,” Remy said, avoiding the issue. He blinked a few times. This couldn’t be happening!

Logan decided that it was time for a distraction. “Want a cigar?” Surprised, he noted the expression of nausea on Gambit’s face.

Remy was still trying to deal with the sudden loss of his charm power when that question hit him. “Cigar? Non…”

“Remy? Ya'd better start talkin’.” Logan leaned forward and pulled Remy’s chair closer.

Unable to keep his grounds, Remy’s eyes pleaded for understanding.

“Keepin’ it all inside don’t work,” Logan said, sincerely. “Been there, done that… trust me.”

“Plus tard,” Remy objected. He couldn’t deal with this now. His charm…!

“I want an answer.”

Sighing, Remy stuttered, “After I got back de cigarettes made me feel sick… had to l'arrêt pour fumer.”

Logan put away his cigars. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Now yer gonna rest. I'll take ya to the bedroom.” He got to his feet and without paying any attention to Remy’s objections, lifted the young man in his arms again. “Now don’t ya get used to me carryin’ ya around!” He expected a smart-ass remark, but Remy was biting his lip. Whatever inner struggle Remy was going through, the Cajun wasn’t ready to let him in.

I don’ understand dis! The charm power had been his constant companion. It had caused him great pain, but had also been useful at times. Never knew for sure if people liked me for who I was or ‘cause of dat damned charm! And now that it was gone he felt even more exposed, naked… strangely helpless.

Remy trembled in his arms, and he tightened his hold. All he could do right now was to be there for Remy, should the younger man need him and eventually let him in. “Open that door,” he instructed as they reached the bedroom.

Somehow, Remy managed to process that request and pushed the door open. The temperature inside the room was comfortable and Logan had even remembered to dim the lights. As Wolverine lowered him onto the bed, he sighed heavily. Logan stepped away from him and… “Where are you goin’, Logan?”

Logan easily detected the sudden alarm in Remy’s voice. “Just gettin’ some clothes or ya wanna sleep in the nude?” Gambit’s wicked grin surprised him. “Forget I ever asked that!”

Remy was trying hard to pretend that nothing was wrong, but inwardly he was screaming. What the hell was happening to him? His charm power was gone and instead he was picking up every single change in Logan’s feelings! It was driving him mad!

Logan smelled Remy’s anxiety and fear, but wasn’t sure how the Cajun would react if he addressed it. “Where do ya keep yer clothes?” Remy pointed him to a drawer near the window and as he opened it, he nodded his head. “Just what I was lookin’ for!” Logan returned to the bed and said, “Raise those arms.”

Remy obeyed meekly. His mind was still trying to work out where his charm had gone and where this ability to read Logan’s feelings had come from. It had started after Antarctica… He barely noticed Logan sliding the shirt over his head and then straightened it out.

“Now the bottom half. Ya don’t need those towels any more.” Methodically, he peeled the layers of fabric off Remy’s body. “Ya can help, ya know.”

Remy suddenly realized the state he was in. “Give me dose!” he yelped and quickly put on the sweat pants.

“Lie down.” Logan pulled the comforter over Remy’s body. “Anythin’ ya need before I’m gonna sleep too?”

Terribly confused, Remy composed himself. “You’re goin’ to sleep… où?” The thought that Logan wouldn’t be close actually frightened him. The silence would return when Logan went away, taking all those delicious feelings of concern with him.

“On the couch in the livin’ room.” Logan cocked his head, as the stench of fear in the room worsened. Remy didn’t want him to leave.

 “Can’ you stay ici?” Remy had managed to get back into a sitting position.

Logan sighed. “Want me to stay here?”

“Oui… please,” he added. In his current state of mind he didn’t trust himself to be alone. He might do something stupid, which he would regret later, like returning to that cliff and making that jump after all. Normally, he could charm the person into doing what he wanted, but this time… “I can’ be alone maintenant…” he added in a strangled tone.

“It’s ‘kay, kid. If ya want me to stay, I will,” Logan said quickly, recognizing the rising desperation in those red on black eyes. He was about to pull a chair closer to the bed as Remy made a startled sound. “Talk to me, bub.”

“I was hoping dat you would…” Unable to finish the remark, he lay back down, pushing his body into the comfort of the mattress.

Logan knew what Remy had wanted to say. Remy’s feelings were clearly written in those orbs. “Hold ya?”

“Oui, mais you don’ need to if you don’ want to…” Remy raved in an upset tone. “Don’ want you to feel inconfortable.” But having Logan close would make him feel so much better, so much saver! Especially now that his world had been turned upside down. What had happened to his powers?

“Don’t worry about it, Remy.” Logan walked to the other side of the bed. After lying down, he extended one arm. “If ya wanna get closer…” He almost cringed seeing the doubt in Remy’s eyes. “I’m serious, kid.”

Wordlessly, Remy rolled into the embrace and rested his head on Logan’s chest. “I’m in your debt, mon ami.”

“Why? For holdin’ ya when ya need some warmth?” .

“Oui,” Remy mumbled in return. “Have slept alone for… too long…” His head moved ever so slightly as Logan breathed in and out again. The realization that a human being was close, was holding him, almost made him cry softly. Logan’s hand soothingly stroked his back and he surrendered to that sensation.

“Go to sleep, Cajun,” Logan whispered in a comforting tone. “I’ll stay here all night and tomorrow when ya wake up, I’ll still be here.”

“You don’ know how much dat means to me.” Remy was quickly falling asleep again, clinging to the warm body next to him for safety.

“No, that’s where ya wrong, Remy.” The younger man was finally asleep again and he felt confident enough to add, “I know how much it means to ya. That’s why I'm here and not leavin’ ya.” Reassured by Remy’s regular breathing, he closed his eyes and tried to catch some shuteye as well. It had been an exhausting day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan was tossing and turning in bed. In his sleep the events of his past came back to haunt him. The nightmares that he suffered made him wake up all clammy and hot. This night was one of them. Dealing with Remy’s pain had brought out his own. A part of his mind realized that he had to wake up, but the faces of the men in lab coats were keeping him restrained. He couldn’t move as they pressed the button that started the process of shooting the adamantium into his body, filling his bones, even replacing them.

A terrible pain coursed through his body as he relieved the violation. Wake up, wake up! he told himself, but he couldn’t! As he was dropped into a tank filled with liquid, he stared at his tormentors, incapable of speech as an oxygen mask covered his mouth. He wanted to scream, to tell them to stop, but they were congratulating each other on the achieved success! He twisted in the bed as his mind seemed to shatter into a thousand pieces. He couldn’t take this much longer! One of the scientists ordered him to be taken out of the tank to examine his new skeleton, but those hands were cruel and cold. Even after all these years he still felt the hands of that man on his skin and…

“Calm down, Logan, please!” Remy begged, as he wildly shook Logan’s shoulders. Wolverine’s anxiety and horror had seeped into his mind during his sleep and it had taken him a while to get back in control of his emotions. He wasn’t used to experiencing someone else’s fear, but in the end his concern won. “Please wake up, Logan!”

Logan reacted instinctively to the feel of hands on his shoulders. All he could think of was escape. He had to get away from these mad scientists. They would never let him go!

Logan’s fist sent him flying across the room and Remy crashed into the wall. Sliding down, he struggled to remain conscious. The left side of his face hurt and a throbbing ache shot right through his spine. A strangled moan fled his lips as he tried to get back to his feet, but he failed and sank down onto his knees. Logan's blow had possessed an incredible force.

“What?” Logan’s eyes snapped open, suddenly realizing that he’d had a nightmare. His eyes quickly scanned the room and he flinched as he discovered Remy’s crumbled body. “Fuck!” He was angry with himself for losing control and lashing out at Remy. He shouldn’t have given in to Remy’s request to hold him during their sleep. He’d completely forgotten about his nightmares! Within a heartbeat he was out of bed and dashing over to Remy’s side. “I’m sorry, kid. Never wanted to hurt ya!” Remy raised his head and his brow grew knitted, seeing the redness of the skin, showing him where his fist had impacted. Hell, they were lucky that he hadn’t used his claws to fight off his so-called assailant!

Logan’s true regret flowed into his mind and Remy stuttered, “I’ll survive, mon ami…” His head reeled and growing dizzy, he noticed that the floor was quickly rising to meet him.

Remy was about to faint and he quickly folded an arm around the young man’s waist. “Lemme,” he ordered and moved Remy back to the bed. This time he sat down in the chair while examining the injury he had caused. Part of Remy’s face was already starting to swell. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, honestly.

Remy forced himself to smile. Thankfully the vertigo was retreating now that he was lying down. “You surprised me. Never knew you had nightmares, Logan.”

“I don’t go around spreadin’ the word,” Logan growled, uncomfortably. “But yeah, it happens sometimes.”

After releasing a relieved sigh, Remy managed to focus his eyes on Logan’s. He tried hard to ignore the throbbing pain in his face and neck, but his face briefly contorted as he attempted to cock his head.

Logan noticed the stab of pain moving over Remy’s face. “Is should get some ice to cool that down.” Ashamed, because he had lost control, he wanted a moment of privacy to recompose himself. The fact that he had unwillingly hurt Gambit shocked him.

“Do you have dose nightmares often, cher?” Remy asked, seeing the shame and tension on Logan’s face. He’d forgotten about his own problems now that he realized that Logan’s sleep had been tormented by someone, something. The pain and terror had been all consuming and he still shivered at the memory. Thankfully, Logan seemed back in control as the dark feelings were no longer invading his mind.

“Ya got enough problems without havin’ to deal with mine,” Logan berated the Cajun. “I’m gonna get that ice.”

“Don’.”

Remy had grabbed his arm and Logan stared at the young man. Surprised, he noticed the firm determination in those blurry eyes. “Got a headache? Want some aspirin?”

“Non.” Remy took great care not to shake his head to prevent the headache from growing worse. “Sit down and talk to me, Logan.”

Indecisively, Logan remained motionless. He couldn’t possibly burden Remy with his past.

“I mean it,” Remy added in a tense tone, sensing the older man’s doubt. Sighing, he wondered if he’d ever find a way to deal with these alien feelings. Not so long ago he would have used his charm on Logan to take away the pain. Would have changed de pain to lust and… He would have allowed Wolverine to take what he needed so the older man could escape the pain. Did dat bef’re. But using his charm power wasn’t an option any longer.

In spite of feeling ashamed and guilty for knocking down Remy, he distinctly noticed the conflicting expression in the young man’s eyes. Remy’s offer to talk about it was tempting, but… “Ya don’t have to deal with my problems.”

“You took care of me, when I needed someone… I wanna help you too… if I can,” Remy offered, realizing that Logan was about to decline. Determinedly, he struggled until he was sitting upright and then rested his back against the headend. “S'asseoir!” he ordered and patted the side of the bed.

Frustrated, Logan gave in and sat down. “Ya don’t need to do this.”

“I want to,” Remy stated firmly. “What was dat nightmare about?” What had scared Wolverine like that? It had never crossed his mind that anything could cause Logan to have nightmares. The man was so strong willed, so indestructible! He had never seen Logan this… confused… Anger… pain… fear… terror…The feelings were still waiting beneath Logan’s mental surface to emerge again and he wanted to prevent that from happening. He wasn’t sure he could take another emotional outburst.

Slowly, his claws appeared and Logan stared at the shining metal. “Ya know how I got these?”

“Non,” Remy replied. Logan was a very private man and guarded his privacy and past viciously. This was the first time ever that Wolverine was opening up to him. “You were born wid dem?”

Logan laughed, embittered. “No, bub. My mutant power is the healin’ factor.”

Confused, Remy looked up at him. “Tell me, cher.”

“Weapon X.” Logan mumbled the words. “They wanted to create the perfect killin’ machine… and I was the perfect candidate. The healin’ factor ensured that I’d survive.”

“Survive what?” Logan’s words were only adding to his confusion. Oui, he knew about the healing power, but…

“They added the adamantium to my skeleton, causin’ these claws to…” Thinking about it, set off unsettling memories and as he looked in to Remy’s eyes, he saw his own pain reflected there.

“Dey violated your mind and body.” Things started to make sense. He offered no apologies, just held Logan’s stare. “And it still haunts you.”

“At times it pops up…” Logan admitted.

“At night… the nightmares… I understand, cher.” Remy squeezed Logan’s hand. “Don’ feel bad about what happened, Logan.”

“What if I had used my claws instead?”

Logan’s whispered words made him shiver. Wolverine had every reason to be concerned. “You didn’. Dat’s what counts.”

“I’m gonna get that ice now.” Logan shook off Remy’s hand.

Remy let him go, realizing Logan needed a moment alone. Resting his head against the pillows, he stared at the ceiling. Now that the distance was increasing between them, Logan’s emotions were fading and became tolerable. Logan’s confession had taken him aback. He’d never suspected that Wolverine was hiding such pain. It rocked his world and finally he found some inner balance again. He knew from personal experience how Logan had to feel about those scientists who had violated him that deeply, had hurt him so tremendously. He felt helpless… Mon Dieu… He fought hard to keep his own memories from crushing in on him. He needed to concentrate on Logan now!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan opened the fridge and took out the ice, which he placed in the centre of a small towel. It would lessen the ache and reduce the swelling. Suddenly, he realized that his fingers were trembling slightly. “Fuck! I could have killed him!” His fist banged into the counter in frustration. He’d never imagined this could happen. The nightmares had left him alone for months and they had seldom possessed this night’s intensity!

“What am I gonna do now?” He had apologized to Remy, but it didn’t make up for what he had done. Remy was in pain because of him! Maybe he should have accepted Scott’s offer to stay the night, but it was too late now to call the mansion and what could he say? Come over ‘cause I almost knocked Gambit out cold? No, he had to return to the bedroom and face what he had done. And Remy… The Cajun’s reaction still baffled him. Most people would have pushed him away after such an attack, but Gambit had sat there quietly, listening to him. In the midst of all his personal problems, Remy had set them aside to listen to HIM!

“Cher?”

Remy’s voice forced him to stop his musings. After making sure that he had gathered enough ice, he climbed the stairs again. Every step felt heavy and briefly he paused. This had changed everything. Remy now knew about his personal demons and would probably be very careful when dealing with him. He couldn’t even blame the Cajun for that. I could have killed him! The thought returned and made him shiver.

Remy kept a close eye on the door, sensing Logan’s return. The self-doubt, emanating from Logan, told him how Wolverine expected him to react to this situation. But he would never turn his back on a friend, and certainly not one who had saved his life only hours ago.

Hesitantly, Logan stepped inside. “I brought the ice,” he said in a tense tone.

“Merci, cher.” Remy gestured him to return to the bed. “I know you didn’ want to hurt me, Logan.”

“That doesn’t matter.” Logan gently placed the icy cold towel on the bruised skin.

Sighing painfully, Remy gritted his teeth. It hurt. “Will tell Henri dat I stumbled and fell.”

“Oh shit!” Logan hissed, realizing Hank would want to know what had happened. “Ya don’t need to lie, Hank knows that…”

“You suffer from nightmares?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Logan raised his eyes and looked into Remy’s, expecting… what? What did he expect to see? Fear? “I’m gonna sleep in the chair.”

“Non, you won’.” Remy’s tone carried determination, as he resorted to old tricks. “Need your body heat, cher.”

“Remy, it would be stupid to risk…”

“L'arrêter!” Oh, if only he still had his charm power! Then things wouldn’t be this difficult. He could have charmed Logan into relaxation! “Get back into bed!”

Logan smiled at the way that sounded. “Maybe later.”

Frustrated, Remy sighed. “I trust you, mon ami.”

“I just fuckin’ slammed ya into the wall!” Logan immediately regretted his tone as Remy flinched underneath his fingers. “Didn’t want it to sound like that, but…”

Remy remained silent, as he examined Logan’s emotions, which were floating through his mind.

“Shit, I’m doin’ this all wrong,” Logan growled. Carefully, he lifted the icy towel to inspect the bruising. The skin was already turning black and blue. “I should call 'Ro and ask her to…”

“I want you close.” Remy licked his lips, treading on new grounds. It actually frightened him to be in control for once. Usually, the charm power took that away from him once it affected the other. “I don’ want de oders to see me like dis and I don’ mean de bruising!”

Logan resigned. What was it about Remy that always made him give in? “I’ll stay ‘wake,” he promised.

Remy smiled weakly. The smile turned into a grimace as pain sliced through his jaw, but he bit it down. Taking the initiative, he closed his fingers around the ice and said, “Please, hold me ‘gain?” He needed to show Logan that he still trusted him.

Quietly, Logan moved around the bed and slid on top of the comforter, determined to stay awake for the rest of the night. “Ya sure ya don’t want some aspirin?”

“Je suis sûr.” Remy moved back into the embrace. His neck hurt and he cringed.

Staring at the ceiling Logan remained silent, but couldn’t deny that Remy’s trust acted as a soothing balm to his hurt soul.

Remy grew drained, as the night’s events caught up with him. The ice slipped from his fingers as exhaustion took over. It lured him back into sleep.

Logan took hold of the ice and resumed cooling the abused skin. Remy’s regular breathing assured him that the young man was asleep. “I could have killed ya.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Remy woke the next morning, he immediately noticed the absence of Logan’s warm body. After last night’s incident he had slept peacefully due to exhaustion. He still vividly remembered the saddened expression in Logan’s blue eyes.

Raising one hand he cautiously touched his left cheek. His jaw still sting and his skin tingled. He took his time to sit upright and cringed, feeling the tense muscles in his back where his body had crashed into the wall. He hoped he would never have to square off against Logan in a one on one fight.

Placing his feet on the floor he tried to rise from the bed and succeeded. Although he was still a little wobbly on his feet, Remy managed to walk into the bathroom. His memories started to return slowly and he realized that Logan had placed him in the bathtub in an attempt to raise his body temperature. Surprised, he noticed that Logan had cleaned up after him.

Remy splashed his face with cold water and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Tired red on black eyes stared back at him. The left side of his face had turned all black and blue. “Merde,” he sighed, hoping no one would ask him what had caused this injury. Startled, he remembered that Logan had told him that the professor wanted to talk to him. Don’ wanna talk to him! Mais Logan threatened to carry me to de mansion… and de homme might actually do it!

Too tired to change his clothes, he only ran his fingers through his hair and then proceeded into the corridor. As he descended the stairs, he gradually became aware of Logan’s presence. He still feels guilty for last night! He didn’t hold anything against Logan, knowing only too well how horribly nightmares could torment a person. Remy LeBeau had had his share of them during his life.

Logan's sharp hearing and sense of smell told him that Remy was approaching and he flipped the last pancake. He’d wanted to wake Remy after he’d finished preparing breakfast anyway. “Sit down, Cajun.”

“Why did you let me sleep dis late?” Remy hid the discomfort his jaw was causing him. He was definitely not looking forward to chewing the food Logan had prepared. “I ain’ hungry.”

“Ya’ll eat!” He gave Remy a menacing look. Remy however, smiled in return.

“Dat don’t scare me!” Remy gestured toward Logan’s face. The eyes disguised any concern, but he was sensing the older man’s true feelings.

“Start eatin’.” Unceremoniously, he shoved the bacon and eggs onto Remy’s plate. “And eat it all!”

“All?” Remy smiled, relieved that Logan wasn’t making a big deal out of last night. He waited until his friend had joined him and then started to eat hesitantly.

But Logan noticed the pained expression in the red on black eyes. “Jaw still troublin’ ya?”

“A li’l,” Remy admitted. “Mais mon back…”

Logan got to his feet and came to a stand still behind Remy’s chair.

“What are you doin’, mon ami?” Remy asked, nervously. It never mattered who stood behind him, it always made him damn uncomfortable.

“Where does it hurt?”

Remy twisted his arm a little, reached behind his back and indicated a spot right beneath his left shoulder blade. “Don’ worry about it, homme. Henri can take care of it.”

“Lemme have a quick look."

“Dat ain’ necessary,” Remy protested, weakly, but Logan pulled the shirt over his head anyway. Agile fingers moved over his back and he barely repressed a soft moan, as gentle fingertips examined bruised skin.

His blow had carried great strength, but the Cajun was a tough one, bearing the pain without complaining about it. His sensitive fingers located a knot of tense muscles and started kneading them. “How does this feel, kid?”

“Beaucoup better,” Remy sighed. Closing his eyes he relaxed. Being touched like this almost made getting slammed into the wall worthwhile. And it ain’ my charm power urgin’ him to do dis. That was the strangest realization. Logan was doing this because he wanted to do it! But that realization brought forth another… one that actually embarrassed and even scared him a little. He loved the feel of those strong fingers running across his back, easing the pain. He'd always respected Logan and couldn’t deny that he’d always felt akin to the older man. Maybe he liked Logan a little too much. Could it be that…? Non! Can’ be fallin’ in love wid him! Only days ago Rogue… The name made him tremble violently. Love… was he really falling in love with Logan? It would only cause him problems and pain. Logan didn’t even like men! Storm had told him the little she knew. Apparently, the Canadian had been in love twice… he struggled to remember the names. Silver fox and Mariko?  Non, doesn' sound like he likes hommes!

“Remy?” Worried, Logan waited for some kind of response. He’d just asked Remy a question, but the young man seemed lost in thought. “Remy!” he said a little louder.

That brought Remy back to the present. “Sorry, homme, wasn’ listenin’.” His mind was a mess, as his thoughts kept revolving about the man standing behind him. Can never tell him dat I like him in dat way. Don’ know how he’ll react… will have to keep it a secret. Wouldn’ be fair towards Rogue eider… Would look like I'm tradin' Rogue in for Wolverine…

Concerned, Logan lowered his head until he caught Remy’s eyes with his. “What is it, Cajun? Yer broodin’!”

Remy nodded his head. “Il n'est pas important. Forget it.” Remy grabbed the shirt and put it on. Suddenly, his appetite was gone and he wanted to return to his bedroom, lock the door and never leave again. Logan was so damn perceptive and would surely notice that something was wrong. Privately, he cursed. Acting instinctively, he drowned the orange juice and forced himself to eat two pancakes. His stomach protested and he dropped the fork. “J'ai eu assez to eat.” He pushed back his chair and walked over to the doorway.

“I also got black coffee,” Logan said, amazed at Remy’s sudden retreat. The Cajun’s scent had changed and he was picking up fear. What had caused it?

“I’m goin’ to change my clothes,” Remy said, nervously.

“Okay.” Logan checked the time. It was 11.30. “But don’t take too long. Hank’s expectin’ us at 1200 hours.”

“I’ll hurry.” Remy started to climb the stairs. Halfway through, he had to pause; his heart was pounding in his throat. But it wasn’t exhaustion that was causing this. It was fear. He was scared that Logan would find out the truth about his feelings Would lose de one friend I have!

After reaching the bedroom, he dragged his drained body over to the bed and sat down. When had it happened? When had it started? When had he fallen in love with Wolverine? Almost unnoticed or… had he ignored it subconsciously?

I need to get dressed, he reminded himself and pulled a pair of jeans and a black shirt from the drawer. He didn’t bother to go into the bathroom to change his clothes and slipped into them within seconds. After putting on some socks, he grabbed a pair of boots. He really didn’t want to go to the mansion. Even less, he wanted Henri to examine him. But Logan’s concern told him that the man wouldn’t give in until McCoy had him in the med lab. How much he hated that place! It brought back bad memories.

“Ready to go, bub?” Intrigued, Logan walked into the bedroom.

“Non,” Remy said in an unguarded moment.

“What is it about the mansion that makes ya this uncomfortable?” Logan handed him a coat and waited for the young man to put it on.

“Don’ wanna see…”

“Rogue?” Logan finished for him.

Remy nodded his head. “And de oders.”

“Want me to stay when Hank examines you?” Logan offered in an attempt to make up for last night.

Remy wasn’t sure what to say. Want you close, oui, mais… Peeking at Logan he realized how much he’d loved sleeping in those strong arms. Betta not 'hink dat way! He might grow suspicious…

And yes, Logan noticed the withdrawn expression. Why was Gambit keeping him at a distance? He was severely tempted to ask that question, but decided against it. “Let’s go.”

“If I have to,” Remy protested one last time and walked away from Logan.

“Ya didn’t answer my question.” Logan fell in to step beside him and continued to observe Remy closely. One way or the other, he was going to get that answer.

The closer they got to the mansion, the more uncomfortable Remy started to feel. Suddenly, he halted in his tracks; something warned him not to go any closer.

“C’mon,” Logan encouraged him. “Hank is waitin’ for ya.”

“I ain’ sure dat I should go in dere,” Remy objected, but as Logan grabbed his arm he had to give in and resumed walking.

“They won’t bite,” Logan paused. “And if ya want me to, I'll keep Rogue away.”

“Dat ain’ it.” Remy cringed as Logan’s concern for him increased. He couldn’t deal with that intense emotion!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scott had been waiting for them and decided to meet them halfway. Just as he started to move, Storm called him back. “Yes?” he said, turning around.

“I will accompany you,” Storm announced regally and peeked at the silhouette of the two men approaching the mansion. “I’m nervous,” she admitted in a flare of honesty.

Scott nodded his head. “I know what you mean.” He’d talked to Jean all night long. Without her, he would be lost. He wanted to express his concerns to the others, but that meant admitting to the fact that he truly cared for the Cajun. Jean had pointed out to him that he was scared and he had laughed at that statement. “You’re afraid to lose a team member, but it goes deeper than that,” she had said. “You lost many people you cared for and admitting that you care for Gambit makes you feel vulnerable.”

His laugh had died instantly, knowing she was right. He cared about each and every one of them. Rogue, Warren, Jubilee, Storm, Gambit, Bobby, Hank… the professor and even Wolverine; everyone on the team. But showing it, admitting he had these feelings was something completely different.

“Scott?”

“Sorry, Ororo. I was thinking this situation over. Gambit…”

Storm interrupted him. “I worry about him too.”

Worry... I still can’t say the word. His eye caught movement and he realized that it was Rogue, looking down at them from her window. After the professor had told him about his conversation with Rogue, he’d become restless. Rogue had hidden something from the professor and that made him suspicious.

Concentrate on Remy, reminded Jean her husband from a distance. Remember what we discussed last night? You can tell him you care.

Not now, Jean! Thankfully, she remained quiet and while looking at Storm, he took comfort in the fact that she was nervous too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan disliked the growing agitation on Remy’s face. Something was wrong, very wrong. “Talk to me, kid.” From the corner of his eye he registered Storm and Scott walking up to them. “Yer among friends. Ya know that, Remy.”

“That ain’ it,” Remy muttered. Something was pushing into his mind, invading it. It was a terrible feeling and he moaned softly. The pain was unlike anything he had ever felt before. It felt like Logan’s concern had grown tenfold and was now pushing him down, laying itself like a veil over his mind, slowly suffocating him.

“Remy?” Logan grabbed the swaying Cajun and steadied him. Remy’s face had grown incredibly pale and big eyes stared at him in absolute horror.

“What’s wrong?” Scott and Storm immediately moved closer, in case Logan needed help.

Gambit looks like shit, Scott realized startled, noticing the bruises on Remy's face and wondered what had put them there. Last night, he had been worried about the Cajun’s health, but right now he wished the man already were in the med lab. As Gambit crumbled in Logan’s arms he deepened his contact with Jean. Tell Hank that we need him in the med lab ASAP. Remy’s about to lose unconsciousness.

Understood.

Remy sank to his knees, clutching his head between his hands. Logan was kneeling next to him, asking for his attention, but he couldn’t focus on the older man. This concern, these feelings were crushing him. “Make it stop,” he pleaded softly.

“Make what stop, kid?”As he exchanged a look with Scott and Storm, he realized they were equally worried. Good, that meant Remy had more friends than the Cajun had thought.

“Yes, make what stop, Gambit?” Scott repeated Logan’s question, hoping Remy would answer him.

Remy rested his head against a shoulder… must be Logan… He was about to implode with the feelings he was receiving. Biting his lip, blood appeared and the metal taste briefly brought him back to his senses.

Storm nodded her head as Logan lifted Remy in his arms. “Henry will find out what is wrong.”

“Remy, talk to me!” Logan tried reaching the Cajun again. “Make what stop?”

Unable to focus his eyes, Remy tried to struggle free from the feelings. Storm’s worry, Logan’s concern and even Scott’s made it hard for him to breathe. “De feelings,” he yelped. “Make dem stop!”

“Feelings?” Storm said, questioningly, as he ran beside Logan.

“He’s been actin’ weird since I found him on that ledge yesterday,” Logan explained in a heavy tone. “Hank had betta find out what’s wrong with him.”

“ I will,” Hank promised as the small group entered the med lab. Jean stood at his side, ready to assist him. “Please put him on the exam table and then I want all of you to leave the med lab.”

“I’m stayin’!” Logan growled as he placed Remy’s unconscious body on the exam table closest to Jean.

“No, my irritating friend,” Hank started. “You will leave too! I need to concentrate!”

Protesting, Logan had to give in. Scott pulled him into the corridor.

“Henry is right,” Storm said reassuringly. “We would only hamper him.”

Logan crossed his arms, bared his teeth and started to pace the room in fearful apprehension.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xavier entered the med lab after assuring Logan and the others that he would update them on Remy's condition as quickly as possible. Right now, Hank didn't want them in there, as he needed to concentrate, something Charles understood only too well. "Henry, are you making any progress?"

McCoy looked up from his patient, while taking a blood sample for the tests he wanted to run on Gambit. "I need at least one more hour to evaluate all test results," he informed the professor. Jean had already started on checking the CAT scans.

"Is he still unconscious?" Charles took in his young student, who was sound asleep on the exam table. The bruised face took him aback. A sense of stark failure moved through him, seeing the thin and mistreated form in front of him.

"He will start waking up in a few minutes," Hank concluded, after studying the monitor. "You were right," he added. "Scott mentioned that Remy was begging them to take away the feelings."

"I knew he was an empath," Charles stated resolved. But why didn't I detect it sooner? Remy moaned softly. "Would you please give us a moment? I need to ask him some questions."

Hank nodded his head. "I administered a mild neural suppressant, which makes the weight of the feelings he's receiving more bearable."

Charles approved of that measure and watched Hank return to Jean, whose facial expression was darkening. "Remy?" Charles said and closely observed the withdrawn face. Remy? he tried again, but this time by sending the name telepathically. Carefully, he probed the young man's mind and flinched. Gambit's mind was a tangled labyrinth.

Slowly, Remy partly opened his eyes. When the lights weren't too bright he opened them fully. A presence was near, but it wasn't Logan. Mon Dieu, merci… The feelings he was receiving were controlled and neutral, and weren't causing him any pain.

Charles completed erecting a mental shield around Remy's mind that would protect the young man's mind from receiving too many feelings. The shield would only allow one person's emotions through. He couldn't block Remy's ability completely. What did surprise him though was the fact that he suddenly had free access to Remy's mind. In the past, the Cajun's tight blockades had made that impossible. "I'm glad that you decided to come to the mansion, Remy."

"I ain'," Remy whispered. He wanted to return to the boathouse, far away from all these people and their emotions.

"You're in the med lab," Charles informed him. "You collapsed."

"I remember dat," Remy admitted and closed his eyes again. His face and back still ached and someone was pushing long needles into his head.

"You experienced sensory overload," Charles explained, trying hard not to peek at Gambit's thoughts. He wanted permission first. "Logan, Storm and Scott are outside."

"Logan aussi?" Remy couldn't help it. He needed to know the man was near. Logan was the only one who made him feel safe.

"Yes," Charles confirmed. "Remy, do you know why you collapsed? And be honest with me, young man. We only want to help."

Remy hesitated, but knew he needed help in dealing with this. "My… powers changed."

"Yes?" Curiously Charles smiled, eager for his student to continue.

"My charm's gone." Remy bit his lip. Had he ever told the professor or the others about his charm power? No.

"Your what?" Charles grew angry with himself. Had he shown so little interest in Gambit that he didn't know what powers this young man possessed?

"Charm has always been ennui… Sometimes I could control it, mais dere were times when…"

Charles caught a mental image from Remy's mind, which he couldn't lock out. Sharing the horrible pain, he realized that the charm had frightened Remy his entire life. "And it has changed? In what way?"

"It's allé… no longer dere…" Remy cocked his head to establish eye contact with the professor. "Instead I'm receivin' sentiments… know how you feel, m'sieur."

"I expected this all along," Charles sighed and rubbed his brow. "But the thing that mystifies me is, how did this change come about?"

"Started after… Antarctica…" Remy whispered in a choked tone. Please, professor, can' deal wid de feelings… please help me.

A little surprised, Charles nodded his head reassuringly. "I'll help you."

"Merci," Remy sighed, relieved. His head lolled to the right and a strangled sob left his lips.

"Remy, I know you're hurting," Charles started and resolved, placed his right hand on Gambit's. The young man's eyes flashed open at the contact. "We'll help you master your new gift, but first… I need to ask you a very big favor."

Remy's eyes carried fear and apprehension. "Don't be afraid, Remy. I'm not going to hurt you, but… I need to know what happened in Antarctica if you want me to help you."

"Non!" Remy exclaimed, upset. He didn't want the professor to see what pain he had caused so many years ago. He still felt ashamed for letting Sinister… Non! He didn't want to think about Sinister!

"Calm down," Charles whispered in a hypnotizing tone. "Let me help you."

But Remy still objected. "Don' do dis, m'sieur. My past ain' pretty."

"Remy," Charles sighed, angry with himself for letting the young man believe that he was to blame for everything that had happened in the past. "I only want to know what happened after the X-Men left the citadel, when you and Rogue were alone."

"Not dat," Remy said, pleadingly.

"I need to know what happened. I talked to Rogue and… " Charles noticed the shock in those alien eyes. "I want to help you."

"I know dat," Remy replied in a shy tone. He sensed Xavier's sincerity. "Mais…

"Trust me, Remy. I know that you don't trust easily, but give me this one chance." Charles hoped Remy would consent to this. If not… he wasn't sure he could trust Rogue to act for the good of the team during future missions. "I'm not going to look at anything else in your mind." Remy was keeping too many secrets and he wanted the young man to start dealing with them.

Remy realized that he couldn't stop the professor in his present state. Xavier could reach into his mind and take whatever information he needed. He was used to people taking advantage of him, exploiting his weaknesses. Betta go along… den it won' hurt dat bad.

Charles read the permission in Gambit's mind, but that wasn't enough. "I want your explicit permission, Remy."

"Do it, m'sieur," Remy stuttered. His hands grabbed the sides of the exam table and his eyes closed in fear.

"I won't go into your mind when you're this afraid, Remy." Charles shook his head. "Is there anything that would make you feel more comfortable doing this?"

Remy didn't trust his voice to speak aloud. Can Logan stay?

"Logan?" The request surprised Charles. "Of course, if that's what you want, Remy."

"Merci," Remy mumbled, thankfully.

Logan, would you please join us in the med lab? He didn't have to wait long; Logan stormed into the med lab. Charles smiled a little, seeing the worried expression on Logan's face and realized he had done the right thing by erecting that temporary shield, protecting Remy's mind.

"What!" Logan exclaimed, but he felt relieved as Remy's eyes fixed on him. The kid seemed all right. "Why did ya call me here?"

"Remy gave me permission to enter his mind. I need to know the truth if I'm to really help him. He wants you to…" Charles carefully chose his words. "To watch over him."

Deeply touched by Gambit's trust in him, Logan nodded his head. "I'm here, kid. Ya know that." Remy wanted to say merci, but Logan stopped him. "It's okay, bub. Just try to relax. Ya know Chuck here wants to help ya."

"M'sieur…" Remy whispered the word and waited until Charles' eyes had locked with his. "Can Logan… see what happened too?" He didn't know why he had made that request.

"Yes." Charles wondered about Remy. First, the young had been determined not to let anyone in and now… "Logan, please sit down." He gestured toward the chair at Remy's bedside.

Logan obeyed and sat down. For some reason he gently took hold of Remy's hand. Just want him to know that everythin' will be aright, he told himself privately.

"I'm ready," Remy whispered, feeling terribly uncomfortable. But Logan's presence was sufficient to make him comply.

"Tell me to stop and I'll stop," Charles assured his student and Remy nodded absentmindedly. "Don't be afraid," Charles repeated and concentrated on establishing a temporary link. Show me what happened, Remy. Scanning Remy's memories, he concentrated on finding the right moment in time. We're getting close, he informed Remy, who wasn't responding. Remy? When Gambit didn't answer, he realized that although Remy had given him permission, the Cajun had retreated from his past. He was alone, but Logan's mind arrived a moment later.

Where's Remy? Logan asked, taking in Charles' appearance who now stood in front of him.

He won't accompany us. He's afraid. Charles gestured Logan to follow him as they walked through the citadel.

Ya know where we're goin'?

Yes, I do. Charles pointed out the scene in front of them. Most X-Men who had been held prisoner here by Eric the Red had escaped through Betsy's shadow walking, but… Look over there.

In the distance, Rogue grabbed Gambit and pulled him along into the air with her.

We need to get closer. I want to hear what they're saying. Charles took a step and seemed to levitate, the air supporting his form. Logan followed gingerly. Finally, they were close enough to hear Rogue's words.

"Ah won't leave you to die here, swamp rat, even if you want me to."

She told me that Remy's feelings had invaded her being and that she felt like having no choice. Rogue left because Remy's feelings were too strong for her to fight, Charles informed Logan. Not getting a reply, he looked at his companion. Shocked, Logan was trying hard to find his way in Remy's mindscape. Don't fight it, Charles advised. Go with the natural flow. You have no influence here. We're only spectators.

Don't understand why the kid wants me here in the first place. Logan shivered, seeing the ice surrounding the citadel. How did he survive?

We'll find out, now watch! Charles concentrated on Remy's memories again. Rogue and Gambit were flying only a few feet in front of them and they could hear every word the couple shared. Remy spoke first.

"Rogue… I…. Thanks for believin' in me. I promise what I was ain't what I'm now."

Logan cringed hearing that admission. He likes bein' a martyr.

You might have a valid point there. Charles started to realize that Rogue had been lying to him in his study. Remy's feelings aren't controlling her! 

Rogue suddenly let go of Remy's hand and Logan wondered if he could catch the falling Cajun. Rogue's words however, shocked him.

"Who said Ah BELIEVE you, Remy?"

She can't be that cruel! Logan looked at Xavier. Are ya sure this really happened?

This is the ultimate truth, I'm afraid. Gambit can't lie to us here.

Both men cringed at hearing the despair and shock in Gambit's voice as he cried out her name.

"Rogue?"

Logan's heart throbbed in sympathy for the Cajun, who hit the snow and fell down a short hill. The expression in those red on black eyes almost made him go berserk with rage. Had Rogue really done this?

"Ah jus' said Ah wouldn't let ya DIE in there. Out here, it's up t' YOU whether you live or die. Ah don't care anymore."

Professor… I can't believe this! Rogue always said she loved him.

I don't understand this either, but we'll have to accept the truth. She consciously made the decision to leave him here to die.

Logan was about to ask Charles to let him out of this hellhole when Remy's pleading voice reached him.

"Fine, den. I've earned your hatred. Mais at least get me somewhere dat'll give me a chance ta get back home."

No! Logan exclaimed privately… She can't deny him that! But she did.

"Home? You ain't got no home, sugah. Not with me... not with the X-Men. Fend for yourself. You seem to have done a good job of that in the past."

Now, I understand… Logan rubbed his temples… That's why Remy thinks we don't want him no more… Damn ya, Rogue!

Stay in control of your feelings! Charles admonished Logan. We're inside Remy's mind!

Gritting his teeth, Logan continued to watch. She signed his death sentence! He wasn't sure what he would do the next time they met.

"Mais... I LOVE you," Gambit said in shock.

Saddened, Charles shook his head, finally understanding why Gambit had decided to move into the boathouse, living as a hermit. But the scene hadn't ended yet and he forced himself to watch it to the bitter end.

"You're honest with people you love, Gambit. Otherwise... it's a gamble," Rogue said as she flew off.

She wanted him dead, Logan commented. Look at him! Gambit doesn't even have a shirt on! He'll freeze to death and she knows it!

Please, no more, m'sieur… stop it…

Charles grabbed Logan's arm and watched the mindscape turn black. Remy wants us to leave now.

How did he survive? Logan wondered.

I don' know… came Remy's pleading voice.

Cold and darkness closed in on them and Charles decided that it had been enough. Taking Logan's presence with him, he struggled to find a way out of Remy's swamped memories.

Logan opened his eyes and drew a deep breath. Being inside Remy's mind had shocked him. "Yer okay?" he asked, concerned.

Hot tears made their way down Remy's face as he shook his head. "Non, not okay…"

"Thank you, Remy." Charles soothingly rubbed Remy's brow, reached out and calmed the surface of Gambit's troubled mind. "Rest now."

Logan couldn't sit back and watch the Cajun cry softly. He changed position and sat down on the exam table. "Come here, bub." Gently, he pulled Remy upright and folded his arms around him.

Remy sobbed softly, trying to hold back the pain, but it had been released and refused to go be buried again. "Don' blame Rogue, don'…"

"Shst," Logan whispered as he stroked Gambit's back. "Chuck is right. Ya need to rest."

Charles leaned back and processed everything he had learned. He had to talk to Rogue once more and confront her with the truth, but… he couldn't leave Remy alone right now. The young man's mind was too fragile.

"Professor?" Henry had watched everything with growing concern. "We need to discuss some discoveries I made."

"Of course," Charles said, postponing his talk with Rogue until Remy was taken care off. As he followed McCoy, he looked at Logan and Remy. Logan was still holding the younger man, whispering soft words that the Cajun wasn't registering. Remy needs all the support he can get and Logan might be the one person to pull him through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hank glanced over at Remy and Logan to make sure that his patient couldn't hear him.

"What did you discover?" Charles asked, seeing Jean's apprehensive expression. This wasn't good news.

"This is what we found after examining the CAT scans and X-rays." Hank pressed a button to show the professor what he was talking about.

"What's that?" Puzzled, Charles stared at the screen.

"It's a metal object, cylinder shaped and located underneath his right ear," Hank explained and magnified the image. "It wasn't there the last time I gave him a complete physical."

"When was that?" Charles tried to make sense of this new development.

"Six months ago. After he returned from Antarctica he refused to submit to any tests."

 Hank and Jean exchanged a look and she took over. "But there's more. This cylinder releases certain chemical substances at regular intervals."

"What substances?" Charles straightened his back. Was this the reason why Remy was so depressed and even suicidal? Why hadn't the Cajun asked McCoy to remove it or didn't Remy know it was embedded in his tissue? Hank started to sum up the names of several chemical substances and Charles grew impatient. "What do they do? In what way are they affecting Gambit?"

Jean answered him in a soft tone. "The dose is much too high for his body to process. They create a chemical imbalance in his brain, causing depression. If we don't remove it, he might become paranoid and schizophrenic."

"That explains it." Charles cocked his head to get a better view of the device displayed on the screen. "Surgery?"

"Yes," Hank confirmed. "I'm going to surgically remove it. Jean will assist me."

"Do you expect any complications?" Charles asked concerned.

"No, it isn't embedded that deeply. Surgery should only take an hour," Jean replied. "But we're going to put him out first."

"Wise decision," Charles agreed. "But Gambit deserves to know what we discovered."

"Maybe we should inform him after the operation?" Jean suggested. "We would only aggravate him and considering his present state of mind…"

Charles had to admit that she'd made a valid point. Looking at McCoy, he asked, "What do you think would be best?"

"I agree with Jean," Hank admitted in a fatigued tone. "We shouldn't add to his confusion. But what I want to know is… who planted that device there in the first place?"

"You're right. We need that answer." Charles looked away from the screen and at Jean. "I need to talk to Rogue, but I'm reluctant to leave Remy."

"We'll take care of him," Hank assured him and gestured the professor to accompany him to Remy's exam bed. "I will tell him that he needs to sleep. That should work." Hank halted to prepare a syringe, which would put his patient to sleep.

"You'll notify me the moment he regains consciousness?" Charles still wondered about Remy's request to have Logan close. He was missing something here. Yes, he could read Remy's mind and find out, but that would be a violation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan had eased the younger man back onto the exam bed and was tightly controlling his rage. Rogue had tried to kill a team-mate! Remy's tired eyes locked with his and he forced himself to smile. "Everythin' will be just fine, bub," he said reassuringly. He felt relieved that things were in the open now.

"You really think so, mon ami?" Remy shook his head. "I still can' believe you're takin' care of me."

Experiencing Remy's memories had finally made him understand why it was so hard for the Cajun to understand that they did care. "Yer an X-Man!" Logan silenced Gambit with a glare. "Don't argue! Just accept the truth, kid!"

Remy smiled weakly. "You're a bon ami, Logan."

"That's what friends are for," Logan remarked, but knew what Remy was trying to say. "And I ain't yer only friend. Ya know that the rest cares as well."

Remy didn't react; instead he focused on Hank and the professor. Seeing the syringe he trembled. He hated needles. Why couldn't HE leave him alone? Every time he saw a needle or medical equipment his heart started to pound.

"Relax, kid," Logan muttered, smelling the rising fear on the young man.

"Logan is right," Hank started. "Gambit, you need to sleep and you're too upset to do that. This is just a mild sedative and you will wake up in a few hours." Hank tried hard to radiate trust and assurance. "We will take care of you, Remy." He wouldn't administer the drug without Gambit's consent, offering him some degree of control. Hopefully that would reassure Remy enough to go along with the procedure.

Remy nodded his head. There wasn't much he could do to stop them anyway. "Will you be here when I wake up?" he asked Logan in a hesitant tone, hoping the man didn't realize the real reason behind the request. If he had ever doubted being in love with Logan, he knew for sure now. He needed Logan close, touching his skin, emanating those warm feelings. Mon Dieu, he needed the man!

Logan watched closely as Hank carefully inserted the needle underneath the skin of Remy's hand.

"I'm also going to start an IV," Hank said softly.

"Why?" Logan's eyes narrowed. They were up to something!

Hank waited until Gambit's eyes had closed. After ensuring that Remy was asleep he sought out Logan's eyes. "We discovered a foreign object near his ear." Hank indicated the spot with a finger. "We need to remove it."

"Foreign object? What the hell is goin' on?" No one was going to touch Gambit before they had explained this to him in detail.

Jean had walked up to him and now took hold of his arm. "Come on, I'll show you what we found."

Logan followed her, but continued to keep a close eye on Remy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the professor left the med lab, an impatient crowd immediately surrounded him. Storm, Scott and even Bobby had been waiting for him.

"How is he doing, sir?" Scott asked concerned, remembering the terrible way Gambit had looked when he had collapsed. Jean had been quiet and seemed unwilling to inform him of Remy's present condition and he respected that. The fact that they were married didn't mean that she should throw the principle of doctor-patient confidentiality overboard.

"We might have discovered why Gambit has been acting this… odd lately," Charles informed them. "Hank is going to perform minor surgery on Remy. I'm very optimistic that he'll make a full recovery within a few days."

"Goddess… thank you…" Storm muttered and dropped onto a chair. "I feared for him."

"We all did," Scott said in a momentarily outburst of passion. Jean would have been proud of him. Finally, he was admitting he felt concerned.

Relieved, Bobby sighed as well. "But sir, you should know that Rogue… she started to pack when Logan carried Remy inside. She's leaving."

"I'm on my way to see her now." Charles looked up at Scott. "As team-leader you should be present as well."

"I'll accompany you then, sir," Scott stated. He'd sensed something was wrong ever since the professor had informed him of Rogue's insincerity.

"How long will surgery take?" Bobby asked as he took a seat next to Storm.

"An hour, maybe longer." Charles and Scott walked over to the doorway, but before he left, Charles addressed Storm. "Remy needs to see a friendly face when he wakes up."

"Goddess, I’ll never forgive myself for not being there for him when he needed me," she whispered upset. "He saved my life once."

"Don't worry," Bobby said soothingly. "Gambit's tough. Sir, where's Logan?" He'd wondered about the Canadian. Storm had told him that Logan had been called inside, but hadn't emerged again.

Charles wavered. "Remy feels more comfortable when Logan's close."

Scott raised an eyebrow. He'd already picked up on that yesterday from that short visit. Logan had been extremely protective of Gambit. "Shall we go now?"

Charles was about to nod his head as the door opened. Logan emerged from the med lab. His eyes simmered with fierce emotion and he'd bared his teeth. "Logan," Charles said calmly. "You're not going to talk to Rogue."

"Don't go there," Logan growled. "She wanted to kill him!" Shocked, Scott, Storm and Bobby stared at him. "Yeah!" Logan exclaimed. "She left him there to die! Rogue decided that Remy no longer belonged with the X-Men… I was in Remy's mind…. I saw the look in her eyes!"

Charles knew he needed to do something but…

"Logan, my friend, come, sit with us." Storm rested a hand on his arm, but he pulled back. She had seen this particular expression on his face before. "Control, my friend."

Her calm and regal voice brought him back to his senses. "I want to be there when ya talk to her," he stated and challenged Xavier to deny him.

"I advice against it," Scott said, once more completely in control of his emotions.

But Xavier knew that Logan wouldn't accept no and decided otherwise. "You'll let me do the talking. Furthermore, you won't threaten her, understood?"

"Yeah, whatever! We're wastin' time!" Logan pushed Scott aside and climbed the stairs.

Quickly, Scott and the professor followed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rogue had packed her bag and decided against staying at the mansion any longer. Gambit was down in the med lab and Logan's angry growl warned her that she was in trouble. As she opened the window to fly away, the door was kicked open.

"What did ya think ya were doin'?" Logan growled and fought the urge to extend his claws.

"Logan, get back in line!" Charles commanded. Reluctantly, Logan obeyed. Scott, keep an eye on him.

Scott nodded his head once and stepped in front of Logan, blocking his way. The professor had shown him telepathically what they had seen in Remy's mind and he agreed with Xavier. Rogue had a lot of explaining to do! "We know what happened in Antarctica, Rogue."

Briefly, her face contorted. "What do ya know, Sugah?"

"Remy asked ya to give him a chance and ya…" Suddenly speechless, Logan blinked his eyes. "Ya left him there to die!"

"He deserved to die…" Rogue grabbed her bag. A smile had returned to her face. Scott's remark had worried her at first, but apparently they didn't know that much after all. They had come to confront her about Remy. Fine, she was still safe. They didn't know the whole truth, didn't know about her alliance with him.

"Ya don't make such a decision!" Logan chided her.

Enough!

Charles' mental command sliced through his mind and infuriated, Logan turned around. "Stay outta my mind…"

"I suggest you calm down." Charles ignored Logan and focused his attention on Rogue. "Why did you lie to me? Remy's feelings weren't influencing you."

"Ah got my reasons." Rogue stepped up to the windowsill. "Ah am leaving now… won't be back until swamp rat is outta the mansion. Ya're making a mistake by taking him in. He's a liar!"

Scott held Logan back as the Canadian's claws appeared. "Logan… get out of the room!"

"Forget it, bub!" Logan tried pushing Scott away, but the man held his ground. About to lash out, he was taken aback by Scott's voice.

"Don't do this, Logan. Think of Remy. He needs you. Let us deal with Rogue. Remy needs you." Scott hoped he'd said the right thing. He wasn't good at this emotional crap, but…

The claws vanished. Remy's name had actually calmed him down. For once, Scott was fuckin' right! "We're not through yet!" Logan told Rogue and then stormed into the corridor. Damned! Scott was right. Remy needed him and he had left the med lab to confront her.

Relieved, Charles realized that Logan was once more on his way to the med lab to check on the progress Hank and Jean were making. Rogue was about to fly away and… Rogue, I tried to help you when you needed me. Tried to help you control your abilities. Why are you turning on us? We're the closest thing you have to a family.

Scott overheard that remark and agreed. "I thought you loved Gambit." The mere thought of leaving Jean in Antarctica because she had made a mistake as a teenager made him shake his head. "I could never do that to the person I love." But she had.

"Maybe it's me who no longer has a home with the X-Men," Rogue said in an odd tone. "Ah am leavin'… and don't track me down!" She took off, dragging the bag behind her.

"I don't think so," Scott whispered. "We should keep an eye on her."

"Yes, we need to know where she's going." Charles sighed. "We should check on Gambit now. I hope surgery went well."

"Professor… there's something I don't understand," Scott remarked as he walked beside the wheel chair.

"What is it?"

"Why does she suddenly… hate Gambit?" He hesitated to use the word hate, but… "Do you think she ever loved him?"

"I know she did," Charles whispered in a melancholy tone. "A few times I sensed her love for him, but that has changed. Her mind was cold when I touched it."

"Cold?" Scott laughed slightly embittered. "We know what happened in Antarctica between Rogue and Gambit, but…"

We still don't know why she acted that way, Charles finished for him. I doubt she'll tell us.

"We should concentrate on Gambit," Scott muttered. "How did that object end up beneath his skin?"

"You don't ask easy questions, Scott," Charles sighed. "Maybe we'll have to enter Remy's mind again to find out. But first, we're going to find Logan. You handled his outburst very well."

"Thank you," Scott smiled weakly. "I've been talking to Jean about being a better team leader."

Charles' smile was genuine as he studied his student. "You're an excellent team leader and now… let's go and check on the team."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Storm tenderly caressed Remy's brow, relieved that surgery had been successful. While still in the waiting area she had privately prayed to the goddess for Remy's recovery and he had pulled through. The incision Hank had made to remove the cylinder had been bandaged. Remy looked too vulnerable so…"Weak."

"I know, 'Ro," Logan whispered, leaning against the wall. Storm had hurried into the med lab the moment Hank had given them permission to see Remy. One hour had now passed and Remy was still asleep. Although the anaesthetic had long worn off, exhaustion kept the Cajun from waking up. "But at least Hank removed the damned cylinder and he can start to heal."

"Who wants to hurt him like this?" Storm asked Logan. "Someone must have placed it beneath his skin!"

Logan shrugged his shoulders. "I've been thinkin' about that too," he admitted and wished he could smoke in here. He craved a cigar! "There ain't that many names that pop up."

Storm's eyes darkened. "I've only been able to come up with one." Slowly, almost reverently, she rose from the chair and walked over to Logan. "Sinister."

"Yeah," Logan growled. That name had been very high on his list too. "The bastard would move in when Remy's helpless."

"But how did he know that Remy was there? Alone and helpless?" Storm shook her head. "We're missing an awful lot of pieces to this puzzle." Smiling weakly, her glance shifted from Remy back to Logan. "Are you going to stay here with him? You have been at his side this entire time."

"I plan on stayin'," Logan admitted. "Got some questions to ask the kid and there are some things he needs to know. Hank and Jean want to tell him about the surgery and they want me present."

Storm felt relieved. Her friend was in good hands. "I will be back later."

"Don't worry, 'Ro. I'll look after him."

"I know you will, Logan." Storm walked to the doorway and glanced one more time at the thief. "Sleep, my friend. You need rest."

Logan approached the bed after Storm had left the room and stared down at the young Cajun. Hank had shown him the cylinder they had removed and while gritting his teeth, his left hand stroked Remy's brow. "Did Sinister get to ya?"

The sound of Logan's voice made Remy stir. He didn't want to wake up. His sleep had been peaceful and refreshing.

"Remy?"

Hearing his name urged him to peek through half closed eyelids. "Logan?" The older man had kept his word and was still here. "Why do I feel…sick?" Remy fought the urge to spill his guts and struggled to keep a moan from fleeing his lips. His neck ached and the skin beneath his ear itched. As he wanted to touch it, he realized that he was wearing a medical gown. "Logan, why…?" Pleadingly, he stared up at Logan.

"Give me a sec." Logan called Jean. He's awake.

We'll be with you in a moment. Jean signaled Hank to follow her. "Our patient just woke up."

Hank closed the file he had been updating and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "We need to be careful when telling Gambit what we found."

Jean agreed. "Thankfully, Remy seems to trust Logan. His presence will reassure Gambit."

Remy noticed the soft footfalls amidst of his nausea and cringed seeing Hank and Jean. What had happened during his sleep? As he moved his hand to examine his throat, he discovered the bandage. Panicking, he stared at Logan.

"Just listen to them, kid." Logan took hold of Remy's left hand and rubbed the knuckles. "Ya trust me. Ya should trust them too."

Remy couldn't speak, couldn't think. All he felt were Logan's fingers stroking his skin. The Canadian was the one thing that kept him from going insane.

Jean sensed Gambit's horror and smiled reassuringly. "Don't be scared," she started and took Remy's other hand between hers. Thankfully, the shield the professor had erected held back her feelings and Jean addressed him in a soft voice. "You have been feeling depressed lately, haven’t you?"

Remy nodded his head. "Oui…" He shifted closer to Logan. Why had he ever agreed to coming to the med lab?

"Listen to her, kid," Logan encouraged him. "I promise that everything will be fine in the end."

Remy swallowed hard and waited for Jean to continue. The fact that both Logan and Jean were holding his hand embarrassed him a little.

"There's a reason why you're feeling like this." Hank took over and placed a small cylinder on the sheet. Remy's stare told him that he didn't recognize the object. "We removed this from your body. It was programmed to emit certain chemicals, programmed to destroy the balance in your brain, causing depression, paranoia and…" Hank stopped, as Remy released a yelp. 'It's over now, Remy. Your body still needs a little time to dispose of the remnants but…"

"Logan?" Helplessly, Remy grabbed the older man's hand in return.

"It's the truth, kid. Any idea who did this to ya?" But Remy's expression already told him that the Cajun had no idea who might be behind it.

"This imbalance might have triggered your empathy," Jean continued her explanation.

"De feelings…" Remy muttered nervously. "Dey ain' dat strong now."

"That's because the professor put a shield up to keep them outside. You can only receive one person's feelings at once." Jean noticed the way Remy was clinging to Logan, staring at him once in a while to make sure Logan had no intention of leaving. Were her eyes deceiving her or...? She had to talk to Logan, who obviously wasn't aware of Remy's feelings.

"What's gonna happen now?" Remy asked hesitantly.

"I'm going to keep you here overnight. Tomorrow, I will remove the bandage. In the meantime, try to rest, Remy." Hank placed his furry hand on the Cajun's brow and noticed the cold sweat. "I'm your friend," he reminded Gambit. "I want to help you heal."

Remy couldn't help feeling helpless as he stared at the cylinder, which Hank had removed. Who would do this to him? "Any idea when…"

"After Antarctica," Hank enlightened him.

"Ya might wanna tell us how ya survived the cold," Logan whispered and squeezed Remy's hand.

Nervously, Remy licked his lips. As he lowered his eyes, he wondered how to tell them that he didn't remember how he had survived. He had no memories of those days, weeks…

"We will discuss this later," Hank decided and checked the IV one last time. Seeing Remy's draped eyes, he explained. "It only contains fluids and nutrients."

Remy didn't react. Instead, he clung to Logan's presence. His eyes were about to close, but he didn't feel safe, not after learning about the cylinder. Thankfully, Hank now slipped it into one of his pockets and it wasn't staring back at him any longer.

"Logan? I need to talk to you," Jean announced in a soft tone.

Remy's eyes flashed open. "Don' go, cher."

The fear in those alien eyes took them aback. Hank had already returned to his work and Jean knew she couldn't postpone this much longer. "I'll bring him back in five minutes, I promise."

It didn't help. Remy refused to let go of Logan's hand. Part of his mind realized he was overreacting, but he couldn't stop it.

"It's the chemicals, Remy," Jean said soothingly and then turned, sensing her husband's thoughts.

"I'll stay with him until Logan returns." Scott smiled.

"You, Cyke?" Remy muttered in disbelief. Scott was the last person he expected to show up in the med lab.

"Yes." Scott moved closer to the bed and sat down as Jean and Logan left the room. "You look better," he said, trying to start a conversation. Remy's eyes still mirrored puzzlement, but he ignored it. "Hey, I am your team-leader, Gambit."

"Didn' know you cared…" Remy stuttered and pulled the blanket up to his chin. The wound still caused him discomfort, but he managed to ignore it. The fact that Cyclops was 'baby-sitting' him was a mild shock at least.

"Rogue has left the mansion. I thought you should know that." Scott hoped that the news wouldn't send the Cajun into hysterics. Due to the chemicals Remy was constantly overreacting.

"Did she leave 'cause of me?" Remy closed his eyes, wishing he had never returned from Antarctica. Non, dat ain' true… den I wouldn' have slept in Logan's arms…

"The professor showed me what happened in Antarctica and when we confronted her with the facts she took off," Scott explained, registering the expression of terror in Gambit's eyes. "She didn't have the right to make that decision. You still have a home here with the X-Men, Gam… Remy." How long had he rehearsed this little speech? "You belong here. You're part of the team."

Tears dripped down his face and embarrassed, he used part of the sheet to wipe them away. "Can' be de truth…must be dreamin'… De Cyke I know would never say dat."

Scott leaned forward. "Listen to me, Remy. You may not think too highly of me, but…" Scott gathered his strength. Come on, you rehearsed this in front of the mirror!

"Oui?" Remy said, nervously. His fingers fumbled the sheet and his locks dropped in front of his face, shielding his features.

"But I do care, Remy. I was worried when you collapsed on the doorstep and… I regret failing you in Antarctica. I regret not realizing sooner what Rogue did to you, what she said to you and…" Stop it! You're getting carried away! he chided himself. But Remy was smiling.

"Homme," he whispered softly as Scott's true concern seeped through the temporary shields. "You surprise me…" Suddenly, his fears were diminishing until they finally vanished. Scott was telling him the truth. "Mebbe receivin' feelings ain' dat bad…"

"You know that I'm being honest," Scott remarked, relieved. He had been worried that Gambit wouldn't believe him.

"Oui…"

"Remy," Scott said, amazed at the ease with which that name suddenly left his lips. "I need to ask you this. Do you know who's responsible for the implant Hank removed?"

Remy wavered, unwilling to speak the name that had ruined his life forever.

"Was it Sinister?" Scott offered. After discussing matters with Hank and the professor blaming Sinister had been the logical conclusion.

Remy hated the return of tears in his eyes and felt the need to apologize for being this emotional.

"No, that's okay. You can't help it." Scott recognized the ashamed expression in Gambit's eyes. "I'm grateful that we located it before it killed you. You can be as emotional as you want. It's the chemicals. Hank explained everything to us." Scott smiled, still amazed at the way he was handling this. Maybe talking this through with Jean had helped.

"I don' know," Remy said, as he managed to keep back the tears. "I don' remember much… After Rogue left, everythin' went cold and dark…"

"What do you remember?" Scott noticed the fatigue on Remy's face. He should cut this short and let him get the rest he needed.

" I woke in a hospital…" Remy revealed, gingerly. "De doctor told me dat scientists had found me and brought me in."

"How long did you stay there?" Scott sensed Xavier's thoughts. The professor was listening too.

"Only a few days," Remy mumbled, feeling uncomfortable. "Dey told me dat I had been in coma for four days…"

Ask him if he remembers anything at all! Charles urged Scott. We need all the information we can get!

"Is there anything in particular that you remember, Remy? No matter how insignificant it might seem." Scott disliked pushing Gambit like this, but the professor was right.

"I had nightmares…" Remy whispered and his eyes began to water again.

"It's okay," Scott assured him and… Am I really doing this? He curled his fingers around Remy's. "Take all the time you need."

Maybe it was the skin contact, maybe it was Scott's tone, but Remy calmed down. "De nightmares continued after I got back."

"Do you still have them?"

" Parfois… sometimes," he added, seeing Scott's mystified look.

"What are they about?" Scott realized how cold those agile fingers felt and nodded his head once. "You can trust us, Remy. We won't desert you like Rogue did."

Those words impacted hard, but he didn't want them to know… Remy stalled.

"Remy, you must tell me." Scott tried hard to put all his concern in those words.

Remy closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to deal with Scott's reaction. "Dey're 'bout Sinister."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Jean wasn't sure how to tell Logan what she had picked up. What would his reaction be like? Would both men end up hurt? But Logan had to know the truth. "You seem to care a lot about Remy."

Now that they were outside the med lab, Logan used the opportunity to smoke a cigar. "Yeah, I do." He was studying her expression. She meant a lot to him, he even loved her, but he also realized that she would never leave Scott to be with him. He had accepted that a long time ago, but had never stopped to care for her. "Does that bother ya?" he asked eventually, wondering why she wanted to discuss the Cajun.

"No, Logan," Jean shot him an amused smile. "I'm not jealous!" she quipped in an attempt to make him relax. Hopefully, he would get the underlying message and she wouldn't have to tell him about Remy's feelings in detail.

"Jealous?" Logan's brow grew knitted. "Why would ya be jealous?"

"Logan…!" Jean sighed, impatiently. Apparently subtlety didn't work. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but considering Remy's current state…"

"Tell me what?" Irritated, Logan waited for her to continue. Jean was acting strangely and he wished she would stop pussyfooting around and give it to him straight.

"I don't know how you're going to react, but Logan, please… think it over first." She walked up to him. She felt like she needed to establish contact first and rested a hand on his shoulder, waiting for him to look into her eyes. "Remy's in love with you."

"What? What did ya say?" His mind slowly processed this new information. "Ya got to be kiddin'! The kid's confused and needs a friend. Must be the chemicals makin' it look like that!"

Jean licked her lips. "Logan, listen to me. It's not the chemicals. That would feel different and they only affect his… negative feelings."

"Shit!" Logan sank down onto a chair. "Yer sure?"

"Yes," Jean nodded her head and sat down next to him. "Remy's been hurt tremendously, Logan. If you don't feel the same way about him…"

"Jean! I like women!"

A crooked smile appeared on Jean's face. "Ever had a relationship with a man, Logan?"

"No!" Logan rolled the cigar between his fingers. "And I don't plan on ever havin' one!"

"Why don't you give him a chance? Whatever you do, try not to react too harshly?"

"Ya must be readin' him wrong! He's in love with Rogue!"

"He was in love with her," Jean corrected him in a warm tone. "Ever wondered why they never got together? Really got together?"

"He can't touch her." Logan had had enough of this conversation and got to his feet.

"What if she had put on a collar? Her powers wouldn't have affected him." Jean rose from the chair and moved until they were facing each other. "You've become his anchor, Logan. I doubt he'll recover if you turn your back on him now."

"But… he can't be in love with me!" Logan shook his head. "I've never seen him with anyone else except Rogue…"

"The heart works in mysterious ways," Jean teased and smiled. "I think the two of you would make a great couple."

"Jeanie…" Logan growled the name.

"I'm serious! Why don't you search your own feelings for him first? Why did you go back to the ledge that night? Just because you were concerned about a team-mate or does it go deeper?" She disliked pushing Logan like this, but she wanted him to consider all possibilities. "Why are you still here watching over him? Why? You need to ask yourself that question and answer it truthfully."

Logan remained silent. Jean was right of course. He was being awfully protective of the Cajun, but he contributed it to Remy needing a friend right now and he had taken on that role perfectly, hadn't he?

"You don't know how you feel about Remy," Jean realized and her smile brightened. That meant there was still a chance that Logan would look deeper at his feelings. Whatever the outcome of that search might be, he would give Remy an honest answer. "Why don't you go back now? Remy will want to see you after learning about the cylinder. He's scared, Logan."

Automatically, Logan extinguished the cigar and walked over to the doorway. "Are ya absolutely sure about…him?"

"Yes."

Absentmindedly, Logan nodded his head, uncertain if he wanted to return to Remy's room. Jean's words had changed everything and he wasn't sure how he felt about Gambit being in love with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Logan," Remy whispered, relieved, as the man entered his room. He hoped that there were no more traces of the tears he had just cried. Hate bein' like dis! He wished that the chemicals would quickly leave his body.

Scott got to his feet and observed Logan, wondering about the thoughtful look on the Canadian's face. "You're going to sit with him?" The underlying message was; Remy can't be alone tonight and needs someone to watch him. Are you going to do that?

Logan understood perfectly, but for the first time since this had started, he hesitated. Avoiding Remy's eyes he tried to convince himself that the young man needed his support, regardless any feelings the Cajun might have for him. "Sure."

But Remy had noticed that moment of hesitation and wondered what had changed. First, Logan had carried concern and affection when he'd come into his room, but now… doubt and apprehension flowed into his mind. Logan didn't want to be here. "You don' have to, mon ami.  Don' need a baby sitter." He tried hard to shrug off the discomfort Logan was emanating and cursed his empathy. Even when the charm had gotten him into trouble he hadn't felt as bad as this.

"Nope, I'm stayin'." This time, he made eye contact with the Cajun. Remy's eyes never hid a thing and he recognized the fear of rejection in them. Things had suddenly become terribly complicated.

Scott had watched the interaction between them and had drawn his own conclusions. "Uhm, Logan… Remy just admitted that he's having nightmares about Sinister."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Ya never told me."

"I didn' have any nightmares while… you were close," Remy said apologetically. He didn't want to feel Logan's doubts but he couldn't block it. And I never mentioned you havin' dem eider, so cut me some slack!

Logan read that remark in Remy's eyes. "Tell me more, Cyke."

"Started after he woke up in a hospital. Apparently some scientists brought him in."

"Scientists huh?" Logan noticed the return of fear in Remy's eyes. His sense of smell told him that Remy hadn't told Scott the entire truth. Kid was still guarding his secrets and it looked like he might be the only one who could make Gambit open up. The Cajun flinched and his fingers trembled. Remy's reaction didn't surprise him All three of them knew what scientist they were talking about. Logan sat down and rested his feet on the side of Remy's bed.

That reassured Remy a little. Logan's mind was in turmoil, but the man wasn't deserting him.

"I'd better be on my way then." Scott grinned inwardly. He'd received bits and pieces from the talk Jean had had with Logan and he was curious to find out what was going to happen next. As he exited the med lab, he hoped for Remy's sake that Logan would think this over and not act on impulse.

Remy's eyes were dropping shut after telling Scott one of the things he had been keeping a secret for so long. "You ain' de only one wid nightmares," he muttered softly. His eyes pleaded with Logan to look at him.

Logan simply nodded his head. He needed time to think. "Why don't ya get some sleep?"

"I've been sleepin' for days!" Remy protested, but recognized his own fatigue. He would drift off into sleep within minutes. "Henri must have put some sleepin' meds in de IV too."

"Remy, listen," Logan started, but seeing the tired eyes he decided not to address this issue between them yet. First, he needed to search his feelings for the young man. "I need to do some thinkin' and yer…"

"Distractin' you?" Remy finished for him.

"Yeah."

"I'll go to sleep den," Remy whispered, upset. Logan's feelings had turned darker, unfriendly and he wanted to escape the sensation. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to relax and to fall a sleep, a technique Jean-Luc had taught him a long time ago.

Watching him fall asleep Logan sighed. Ya can't be in love with me, Remy! Shit, why me? Why not Bobby or Hank or… why me?

"Want a cup of coffee?" Hank had waited for Remy to fall asleep before making his move.

Logan looked up, irritated at the interruption and at first he wanted to decline, but the aroma made his mouth water. "Sure, why not?" He got to his feet and walked into the little office Hank had created to have some privacy while working. From where he sat now he saw Remy's every move. "Thanks," Logan muttered and sipped the hot liquid. He had known Hank for a long time and wondered why the man wanted to talk to him. Hank just didn't invite you in for coffee when he was working on his research or tending to a patient. "Spill it, Blue."

"I would like to know how his face got that badly bruised." Hank removed his glasses and gave Logan a stern expression. "Did you do that?"

"Yeah," Logan admitted in a guilty tone. "I was havin' a nightmare and…"

"You were… " Hank sighed his discomfort. "Sleeping that close?"

"He wanted me to hold him, Hank." Logan stared into the coffee. Maybe talking to Hank wasn't such a bad idea. "Jean told me Remy's in love with me." Holding his breath he waited for Hank's reply.

"I see," Hank said and nodded his head. "And do you feel the same way about him?"

"I don't know," Logan replied honestly. "This never happened before."

"Please be more exact, my friend."

"Remy's the first man to fall in love with me…"

"Now you’re talking about Remy's feelings again," Hank pointed out. "I want to know how you feel about this development. I don't want him to get hurt, Logan."

"Ya care about him. That's good." Logan was stalling, still unsure whether he should continue this conversation or not. "The thing is… I really like the kid, but…"

"Are you prejudiced? Is that it?  Do you think it is wrong for two men…" Hank rolled his eyes. Feels like I am talking to Robert!

"Never had to think about that before," Logan admitted. "It don't bother me, seeing two guys or girls kissin' and stuff, but…"

"Now it's about you."

"Yeah…" Logan emptied his mug and felt clear headed. "Maybe I like him more than I want to admit."

'Yes?" Hank waited patiently, knowing it was important that Logan was being truthful to himself.

"It's just that… he's so vulnerable right now." Logan shifted in the chair.

"What do you feel for him?"

"Cajun's a tough one… A friend."

"Anything else?" Hank remembered how long it had taken Bobby to search his feelings and now he was asking Logan to do that in a few minutes. "What do you feel when you comfort him? Do you want to touch him? Make private excuses to touch his skin? What do you see in his eyes?"

Logan moistened his lips. "I like the texture of his hair… It's soft. He trusts me and yes… I've been tellin' myself that it's okay to hold him, but… is that love?"

"You've loved before," Hank said and shrugged his shoulders. "Only you can answer that question. "Don't let gender matter, Logan. Actually, I think that Remy is just what you need."

"Jean hinted at that too, why?" Logan really wanted to hear this answer.

"You need to trust again," Hank said thoughtfully. "You've been mistreated in the past and…" Hank silenced Logan's protest with his eyes. "You have offered Remy protection and affection, things he desperately needs. I suggest you talk to him about this."

"After I made up my mind," Logan decided and got up to refill his mug. "I don't want to get his hopes up and then…" During the conversation he had concentrated on Hank instead of Gambit and the keening wail that now rushed through the med lab made the blood flow faster in his veins. Instinctively, he extended his claws as he turned around.

"Remy's having a nightmare." Hank's eyes fixed on Logan. "But he needs you to comfort him. Can you do that?" But Logan had already left his office and was now storming into Remy's room. "Apparently, the answer is yes," Hank muttered, pleased.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ne pas me toucher!" Remy screamed and swept away imaginary hands that were moving over his body. The chemicals had brought on his nightmares and left him defenceless. "Leave me 'lone!" Struggling with the blankets in an attempt to free himself, red eyes flared with pain.

"Remy!" Logan wavered. The Cajun was caught in some nightmare and apparently fighting someone. "Listen to me, kid. Yer havin' a nightmare. Yer safe!" Remy's wild locks danced on his shoulders and those agile fingers had turned into claws, holding onto the bed as if someone was trying to drag him off. "Remy…" he said in a soft tone and slowly raised his hand to cup the young man's chin in it. "I'm here and yer safe."

Remy blinked his eyes and surrendered to this familiar feeling that soothed the troubled surface of his mind. Panting hard, he finally managed to lock on to Logan's blue eyes. "Jus' a nightmare," he stuttered ashamed.

But Logan noticed the pain in those eyes. "Talkin' about it makes them go 'way."

Remy collapsed into a heap and concentrated on that voice. Logan's voice. Oui, I'm safe… for now… but for how much longer?

Logan realized that the skin beneath his fingertips felt incredible soft and suddenly, silky hair brushed against his cheek. Gambit had thrown himself into his arms. "It's okay, kid," he muttered and tried to figure out what exactly he was feeling. Inhaling Remy's scent he registered the fear that accompanied it, but the Cajun's scent itself was musky, masculine. He remembered holding his former lovers, Silver Fox, Mariko and compared this sensation to those memories. Memories, he thought embittered, don't even know which are true and which they implanted in my mind!

Remy held onto Logan for dear life. The older man was driving away the memories, leaving him pure and cleansed. He didn't want to remember the past, didn't want to remember Sinister and yet, the scientist haunted his dreams too often to forget what the madman had done to him. But he could never tell Logan or the others… never!

Purposefully, Logan raised a hand and stroked the auburn locks. I like holdin' him like this, he finally admitted. The tender, almost passionate way he felt for this young man was something he had ignored for too long. In that instant he realized that he could love Remy back…  but he needed time to come to terms with this. "Was yer nightmare 'bout Sinister?"

"Oui," Remy whispered against Logan's chest. He almost pressed a kiss onto that skin, but froze just in time. His feelings were overwhelming him now that the man was this close and he couldn't risk losing this friendship! Logan would never accept him as a lover. Certainly not if he knows de truth about Sinister and moi…

From the corner of his eye, Logan caught Hank's smirk before the doctor turned to give them some privacy. He sat down on the side of the bed and continued to hold Remy, alternating between rubbing his back and stroking his hair. Damn, he didn't want to let go, but Remy had to talk about this. "Why does the bastard scare ya?" Remy flinched in his arms and Logan shook his head, hesitantly nuzzling the young man's neck. "Ya can tell me, Remy."

Mon Dieu. Logan's affection coursed through him and he desperately wanted the man to kiss him, to caress his face, but…"Don' want to talk 'bout it," he stuttered ashamed and freed himself from the embrace.

Logan allowed him to break the embrace, but his eyes never left the Cajun's face. "What did he do to ya?"

"Why did you ask dat?" His voice trembled dangerously. Logan was getting too close to the truth.

Logan waited in silence. The stench of fear in the room had tripled. Sinister didn't just scare Gambit… the young man was terrified!

"Tricked me, you know dat," Remy said quickly, wishing he could confide in Logan, but the older man would never want to comfort him again if he knew the truth. "It was jus' a nightmare!"

"If ya don't want to talk 'bout it, that's fine with me," Logan grunted, slipped off the bed and walked over to the wall. "But how long do ya think ya can deal with this 'lone?"

"I dealt wid it for years without any help from you X-Men!" Remy yelled in genuine anger. Rubbing his eyes he tried to regain his composure. Logan was trying to lure him in to talking.

"What have ya been dealin' with for years, kid?"

"Dat ain' your affaires!" Remy whispered in a choked tone.

Logan drew in a deep breath and watched silently as Remy lay down, pulling up his legs and then turned away from him. The Cajun was shutting him out after all they had been through. "No way, bub. I want to know why yer hurtin'." He'd had enough of Remy's secrets and he was determined to push through Gambit's defenses.

"Why? Why do you care?" Remy muttered between clenched teeth. He sensed Logan's determination and as the older man appeared in front of him, he tightly closed his eyes.

"How long do ya plan on hidin'?" he asked, hoping for some kind of reaction. He hated the way the kid always withdrew into himself when he was in pain. "Sinister implanted that cylinder into yer body. He wanted ya to go insane… why are ya protectin' the bastard?"

Enraged, Remy's eyes flashed open. Logan had no right to talk to him like this! "You don' know!"

"Then tell me." Logan grabbed Remy's hands and jerked him into a sitting position. "Ya don't owe Sinister. Why are ya protectin' the fuckin' bastard?" He had made the remark on purpose, fuelling Remy's anger, because he knew that would get him a reaction. Remy pulled away from him and his eyes burned.

"I'm protectin' myself!" he called out before Logan's raw emotions made him faint.

"Shit," Logan exclaimed as he caught the crumbling body. "Didn't want that to happen, kid, but…" Slowly, he lowered the Cajun back onto the bed. "Protectin' yerself?" he repeated puzzled. Had Sinister somehow still a hold on Gambit?

"What did you do to my patient?" Hank appeared and shooed him out of the room. "And don't go anywhere! I want to talk to you!"

"Great, that's just fuckin' great," Logan muttered and started pacing the corridor. Protectin' yerself from what?

I'd like to know the answer to that question as well. Charles wheeled his chair into the corridor and halted in front of Wolverine.

"I- don't- get- it!" Logan muttered, emphasizing every word. "If only he trusted us to help him deal with it!"

"Remy finds it hard to trust and we can't blame him." Charles had hurried to the med lab, picking up on Remy's nightmare and growing agitation.

Logan collapsed onto a chair and stared at his hands. "I can't fight off Sinister if he doesn't tell me why he's this afraid."

Charles realized that Logan needed to get this out of his system. "What do we know?"

"Sinister got to him after Rogue tried to kill him," Logan whispered in a bitter tone.

"And then implanted the cylinder… now, why would he do that?" Charles took a moment to ponder his own question, but it was Logan who answered it.

"Hank said it would have made Remy paranoid and suicidal. Sounds to me like Sinister wants him dead too."

"But why take risks? He could have killed Remy in Antarctica." Charles felt trapped, never finding the exit.

"Maybe we should ask him?" Logan suggested and flaunted his claws.

"Put them away, Logan…" Charles mumbled, absentmindedly, his thoughts circling around Sinister and Gambit. "Why did Sinister trigger Remy's latent empathy?"

Logan shrugged his shoulders. "Revenge?" he offered eventually. "Maybe he wanted to break Remy's spirit by showin' him that the X-Men don't want him no more?"

Frustrated, Charles sought out Logan's eyes. "Maybe… but what was that about Remy protecting himself? I overheard your remark and felt his reaction to it."

Alert, Logan's eyes started to sparkle. "Yeah, that got to him, didn't it? He couldn't bear me accusin' him of defendin' the bastard."

"Remy desperately wants to keep this a secret." Charles stopped talking as Hank strolled closer, a worried expression on his face.

"I told you to comfort him! Not upset him any further!" Hank reprimanded Logan. "I had to administer a sedative. Remy's asleep again, but… the readings indicated that his heartbeat was way off scale and his pulse… what did you say to him?"

"It's safe to conclude that Sinister somehow hurt Remy and that he feels… ashamed." Charles tried to remember what he had picked up exactly before Remy had fainted. "Logan, you need to work on gaining his complete trust."

Logan realized that the professor was right, but wasn't sure he was the right man for the job. Eventually, he nodded his consent.

"I'll use Cerebro and try locating Sinister. We should keep an eye on him. If he's really out to hurt Gambit…"

"He'll have to go through me first," Logan growled angered.

Reassured that Gambit was safe, Xavier left the two men behind. Maybe Cerebro could supply him with some answers.

Hank stopped Logan as the Canadian wanted to return to his patient's room. "Logan…"

"Lemme," Logan hissed, eager to return to Remy's side.

"In a moment."

"What do ya want?"

Hank smiled, already reading the truth in his friend's eyes. "You have found your answer, haven't you?"

Logan nodded his head once. "Yer right, Hank… I think I love him"

"You should tell him." Pleased, Hank opened the door to Remy's room. "It will do him good to know that someone loves him."

"I don't know, Hank," Logan objected. "Feels to me like takin' advantage of a confused kid."

Hank's smile grew even brighter. "In case you hadn't noticed, Logan," and he pointed at Remy, still asleep in the bed. "Remy isn't a kid. He's a young man who loves you."

"Yer right, blue," Logan whispered. "That's why I don't understand that he wants me."

"I suggest you talk to him." Hank closed the door and satisfied with this development, he returned to his office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Logan, wake up!" Scott actually enjoyed kicking the Canadian's feet from the side of Remy's bed. Gambit's sleepy eyes opened and he placed the breakfast tray on the bed.

"What the…" Logan growled and almost kicked Scott's feet away from under the man. "Jean should teach ya manners!" His next glance was for Remy, who was eyeing the pancakes, toast and eggs appreciately. The insane expression had fled those alien eyes and the young man's hands no longer trembled. Yeah, he's gettin' betta.

"Next time you prepare your own breakfast," Scott quipped, feeling relieved at finding Remy in a calm and relaxed state. "I come here out of the goodness of my heart to make sure the two of you aren't starving and…"

"Put a sock in it, Cyke," Logan said and grabbed the mug filled with black coffee.

Scott grinned. "My talents are just not appreciated."

But as Remy looked at Scott's face, a wave of relief hit him. "I appreciate it," he mumbled in a soft tone and attacked the pancakes. His stomach growled with hunger and…

"Hey, leave some for me!" Logan snatched a pancake away from underneath Remy's hands.

Scott leaned against the wall and observed them. Remy's condition was improving according to Hank and the doctor might discharge him today. "Storm will be relieved to hear that you got your appetite back!"

Remy smiled weakly. He did feel a lot better. Mebbe de chemicals are losin' deir effect… Cautiously, he peeked at Logan. Was the man still angry with him? As his focus shifted to the Canadian, he started to receive affection. No, Logan wasn't mad at him. It had been his own fault that Logan had sneered at him. But he couldn't tell them about Sinister…

"The professor wants to talk to you later today," Scott informed Gambit.

"Fine wid me," he mumbled, painfully aware that they wouldn't give in until they knew the shameful truth.

Scott nodded once and then left them alone, suspecting that the two men needed to talk in private. He was right.

"'bout last night… Logan started hesitantly after devouring a piece of toast. "I was outta line."

"Non, you weren't," Remy replied, without looking at him. "It was my fault…"

Logan leaned in closer and raised Gambit's head with his left hand until their eyes met. "I can only hope that one day ya will trust me enough to tell me why yer hurtin' like this and why ya think ya need to protect yerself by keepin' dis a secret."

Remy dropped his fork onto the plate and blushed.

Surprised, Logan wondered why Remy was flustered. "I care 'bout ya, Remy."

"I know dat, mon ami…" Remy whispered, nervously. Logan's affection for him seemed to have become stronger since last night and he was afraid to hope that it might be turning in to something else; love. "I need time, Logan…" The older man was still cupping his chin in his hand and now those fingers slowly caressed his skin. He was drowning in those blue eyes and, acting on impulse, he curled his fingers around Logan's.

Logan smiled, sensing the hesitation in that movement and squeezed those fingers to reassure the Cajun. His mind was telling him that this was the perfect moment to confess his love, but… wouldn't it be best if Remy took the first step? No, kid won't say the words… he's scared of bein' rejected… But… wait… if he can read feelings why is he this confused? He should know I love him! It crossed his mind that Remy wasn't used to dealing with alien feelings and probably was still learning to determine their nature. To him, affection and love might feel the same. Means I have got to go first… "Remy, there's somethin' I need to tell ya…" Patiently, Remy waited for him to continue. The look in those eyes seemed to waver between hope and fear and encouraged him to make this admission.

Mon Dieu, what's goin' on? Logan's face was so close and he desperately wanted to brush those lips with his. Roughly textured, but infinitely tender fingers caressed his face and he completely surrendered to the warmth that Logan radiated. Je t'aime, Logan… Eventually, Logan's words hit him unprepared, never expecting them.

"I love ya, Remy. Remy? Remy!" The blank stare in the red eyes made him nervous. "Hope ya heard what I jus' said. Not sure I can say it 'gain," he whispered and smiled.

"I heard you, mon ami," Remy mumbled shattered. A single tear made its way down his cheek and he needed a moment to recompose himself. Had Logan really admitted to being in love with him? Non, can' be happenin'!

"Hey." Tenderly, Logan ran a finger over the bruised skin. "That's all ya got to say?" If Jean hadn't assured him that Remy was in love with him, he would have felt terribly awkward.

Lie to him! You can' tell him de truth! Remy's thoughts ran in endless circles. He wanted to confess his love as well, but couldn't. As he wanted to look down at his hands, Logan stopped him and held his stare.

"Talk to me, Remy." Logan softly brushed the Cajun's lips. Surprised, he realized that the young man trembled at the touch. "Am I so wrong 'bout ya? I thought ya liked me too."

Unable to speak, gooseflesh appeared all over his body. Logan's kiss had been incredibly gentle. No one had ever kissed him like that before. "I… am honored, Logan, mais…"  

Hearing that little word Logan knew something was wrong. "But?" He could almost see Sinister's face loom over Remy's, keeping him back from being true to his feelings.

"You can do much betta," Remy started. As Logan wanted to interrupt him, he shook his head, realizing he had to do this right. "Non, cher, listen to me now. I ain' good enough for you. I'm damaged goods and I pray dat you'll never find out how tainted I really am…" Remy paused to regulate his breathing, which had turned rapid. "I told de professor dat my past ain' pretty… let's leave it at dat. I can' make you happy, cher."

Logan waited for Remy to finish, slowly realizing that the Cajun was rejecting him. "I've had enough of this, kid." Logan grabbed the blanket, wrapped it around the young man's body and lifted him from the bed. "We're goin' to settle this... my way."

"What are you doin', homme?" Remy tried to free himself as Logan carried him out of the med lab. This wasn't according to plan! "Henri! Help!"

Hank stepped out of his office with a big smirk on his face. Unintended, he had heard part of their conversation, as he had been keeping an eye on his patient on screen. "Don't leave the mansion and don't forget to bring him back!" he quipped and returned to his tea.

Shocked, Remy's eyes grew big and Logan couldn't help laughing. "No help there," he told the baffled Cajun.

Pleadingly, Remy caught Logan's eyes. "I don' know what you're up to, mais… I won' tell you!"

"Ya will," Logan said between clenched teeth. Professor?

Yes, Logan? Charles had registered Logan's action and approved of it. Logan knew how to get through to Remy.

Burrowin' one Cajun!

Let me know what you discover. Charles smiled and returned to his work.

"Lemme go!" Remy yelped, as Logan carried him out of the mansion and into the garden. "You can' do dis…" But slowly he realized that Logan was doing this.

"Relax, kid. I'm jus' takin' ya some place where we can talk." This time he would make sure that Gambit had no way out. This time Remy was going to tell him the complete truth about Sinister.

"De boathouse?" Remy finally realized their destination. It took them five minutes to reach the house and all that time he continued to plead with Logan. "Lemme go, Logan, please! I can walk…"

"Nope, I ain't goin' to chase after ya!" After kicking the door open he finally placed Remy back on his feet. "Sit down!" he commanded and walked Remy over to the couch.

Remy couldn't help remembering waking up in the living room, his head resting against Logan's chest, those strong arms holding him and feeling completely at peace in that embrace. How he wished he could have that for the rest of his life! But it was only wishful thinking. Logan would eventually realize that too.

"We're goin' to start all over," Logan said after closing the door to keep out the chilly wind.

"Don' do dis, cher," Remy begged.

"Oh yeah! I'm gonna do this, because I'm sick and tired of yer little secrets!" Logan sat down beside Remy who tried to squirm away. "Stay, Remy. Don't make this anymore difficult than it already is!"

Remy pulled the blanket closer to his body. All he was wearing beneath it was a medical gown. His hair dropped in front of his face and he tried to shut out Logan's feelings, but the older man's love was warm and hard to block. And then there was that determination! If he hadn't fucked up like that in the past, they might actually have worked.

"I love ya… that was the last thing I said and ya have to come up with a betta answer than the last time." Logan had calmed down and realized how haunted Remy's eyes looked. To reassure the young man he gently pulled him into an embrace and after a second filled with doubt, Remy rested his head against his chest. Damn, this feels comfortable! "Remy, I love ya," he repeated and looked into the Cajun's eyes. "Now give me an honest answer. Do ya love me?"

Remy wanted to bring up another reason why they couldn't be lovers, but Logan leaned in closer and gently kissed his lips. He moaned unwillingly, as Logan's tongue traced the inside of his lips and he melted into the embrace, pressing himself against that warm body when suddenly he realized what he was doing.

"Do ya love me, yes or no?"

"Logan, I can'…" he sobbed silently. Why was Logan doing this to him?

"Yes- or- no!"

"Oui," he whispered in a pained tone. "Je t'aime."

"Good, now that we established that our feelings are mutual yer goin' to tell me why ya wanted to reject me in the med lab." Logan gently brushed a stray lock away from Remy's face and caught one tear with his fingertips. Licking it, he tasted the salt in it. "Why does Sinister scare ya?"

Remy no longer had the will or strength to continue lying to Logan. The man wouldn't let him go before he knew the truth, or at least part of it. "You're sure you want to hear dis?"

"Yeah." Logan pressed kisses on Remy's trembling fingertips, amazed at the passion he felt for the Cajun. And I wondered if I could love him back!

"You'll hate me later," Remy sighed, his tone filled with regret.

"I won't."

"You will. I was 17 when I had to leave de thieves' guild."

"Ya got into a fight…?" Storm had mentioned something like that when Remy had just joined the X-Men.

"Oui," Remy confirmed. "Had to leave N'Arlings and had to survive on my own. You know dat I ended up workin' for… him."

Tremors rocked the young man's body. "Take yer time, Remy."

"Non," Remy objected. "Or I'll never 'gain find de courage to do dis." He stared at Logan's fingers, intertwined with his and couldn't help smiling a little. "Have I ever told you 'bout my charm power?"

Logan nodded his head. "Ya bragged once that ya could get any woman ya wanted usin' that charm power of yers."

"Not every femme, non?"

"Rogue."

"Oui." Remy placed his other hand on top of their twined fingers and leaned into the embrace. This would all be over in a few minutes. "When I was younged I couldn' always control de charm. Affected people without me wantin' it. Hoped dat Sinister could help me control it."

Logan briefly held his breath as an ominous feeling grabbed his throat. "Yer ain't tellin' me that Sinister…?"

Gingerly, Remy nodded his head. "Sinister once told me dat Apocalypse had taken his conscience away from him, togeder wid his feelings… dat he couldn' feel anymore."

"Yeah, Apocalypse made the sadistic bastard almost indestructible." Logan tightened his hold on Remy, as the young man tried to slip away from him. "Tell me the rest."

"My charm… I never wanted it to happen," Remy stared at their hands and his breathing slowed down now that he had made the decision to tell Logan the truth. "De charm made him feel 'gain and he didn' wanna give dat up."

"You left out a lot, didn't ya?" Logan rocked Remy in his arms, finally realizing how hard this was on him.

"Oui," Remy whispered in an emotionless tone. "At first he just wanted me close… and I wanted to get 'way from him… I couldn' control de charm and it hit Sinister. He… wanted me."

Logan's eyes shot flames. "And ya couldn't fight him off?"

"Non." Remy trembled with remembered pain. "Chargin' power wasn' dat strong back den."

"What did ya do?" Logan cocked his head and his eyes caressed the tear stained face. Tenderly, he wiped them away with his hands.

"Couldn' do dat much. I let him have his way wid me." The tears stopped and his heart missed a beat, as he finally spoke those liberating words. "He took what he wanted and I let him."

"I'm sorry, kid." Logan kissed Remy's tangled locks. Their hands where tightly twined and that kept Gambit from pulling back. "Go on."

"Eventually, he seemed to lose interest in me… He offered to let me go if I gadered de Marauders for him. After leadin' dem into de tunnels he would stop stalkin' me."

Remy's voice broke into shattered pieces and sobs echoed through the room. Logan continued to rock him. "I'm goin' to kill the bastard the next time we meet," he vowed passionately.

Speechless, Remy listened to Logan's heartbeat, so terribly close to his ear. He expected the Canadian to tell him to leave, that this was a mistake. "It's okay, Logan. I know you can' love me…"

"Hell, I can!" Logan growled infuriated. "This what ya were thinking of when ya said that ya were protectin' yerself?"

"I don' want anyone to know what…" Remy surrendered to the rocking motion and closed his eyes. "Dey will loathe de sight of me…"

"No, that ain't true," Logan assured him. "Not everyone needs to know, but…"

Remy knew what Logan was about to say. "De professor, Cyke and Henri…"

"Yeah, they should know." Logan shifted his position, but never broke the embrace. "Come on," he said and pulled the startled Cajun to his feet.

"You're goin' to kick me out now, non?" Logan's love had been too good to be true. He should have kept his mouth shut!

"No, I'm goin' to take ya back to the mansion." Logan folded an arm around Remy's waist to keep him steady, but then realized that the Cajun was barefooted and the ground outside was drenched with rain. "Looks like I'm gonna carry ya 'gain, darlin'."

His heart pounded at hearing that last word. "Logan?" Remy gathered his courage and locked eyes with the Canadian. During these last few minutes he had done his best to lock out Logan's feelings. He had only partly succeeded, still experiencing Logan's intense anger. But was it aimed at him or…?

"Ya thought I would blame ya, didn't ya, Remy?" Logan understood the way Gambit's mind worked. "It wasn't yer fault dat ya got…" Okay, I've got to say this to get the point across, but hearing it'll hurt him. Scooping Remy up in his arms -something that had become second nature to him- he started again. "It wasn't yer fault that the bastard raped ya."

"Don' say dat!" Remy cringed, hearing that word. "I seduced him!"

Logan shook his head and glared at the young man. "Ya couldn't control yer charm and that makes it aright for him to lay his hands on ya? I don't think so! I ain't prepared to lose ya over this! Ya hear me?"

"Oui," Remy whispered taken aback. Mon Dieu, he's tellin' de truth… Logan's love for him hadn't diminished. It had grown! "You really love me?"

"Took ya long enough to finally get that through that thick skull of yers?" His heart was bleeding for the horror Remy had suffered. Damn ya, Sinister. He was only a kid when ya got yer filthy hands on him! But then he realized that a lot of questions were still unanswered. "Why does he want ya to lose yer mind?" Logan looked around and estimated that they were still a few minutes away from the mansion, but dark clouds were gathering above their heads. He didn't want Remy to catch a cold so he increased his walking tempo.

Remy slipped a hand behind Logan's neck and wondered about the Canadian. He still loves me? Confused, he remembered Logan's question. "I don' know, cher… I really don' remember what happened after… she…. left me."

"The nightmares," Logan probed. "What are they about?"

Remy trembled. "I'm strapped to an exam table and…"

"There you are!" Hank ran toward them. "Is Remy all right?" He had been waiting for their return and had grown worried as minutes had passed. "I told you not to leave the mansion!"

"Had to talk things through." Logan refused to hand Remy over to Hank. "I can carry him. Ya'd betta get Cyke and Chuck. Remy needs to tell ya somethin' and he's only gonna do it once."

" Je doit?" Remy objected softly. "Now?"

"Yeah, now and then we're goin' to find the bastard. He's goin' too pay for what he did to ya!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Genosha.

Rogue had hoped to postpone this moment a little longer, but Magneto was already awaiting her arrival and she wasn't looking forward to the conversation. She had to admit though that it felt good to know being a mutant wasn't an exception here and that they accepted her presence.

"Rogue!" Magneto gestured her to come closer. He was seated behind a desk, awaiting new information. The fact that she had felt it necessary to leave the mansion worried him. "Why are you here? We agreed that you would stay with the X-Men! I need your inside information!" Almost a year ago she had agreed to work for him and she had done a great job. Charles had never realized that she was spying for him. She looked worried, haunted, and he realized that she needed reassurance. He needed her to continue to work for him. "I almost finished my research," he said and approached her slowly. "Only a few more weeks and you can control your powers. You'll be able to touch skin without the fear of accidentally killing someone."

Rogue raised her eyes to meet his, removed a glove and touched his face. "I trust yuh."

Magneto smiled. "You can trust me, Rogue. I'll keep my promise." He clasped his fingers around her hand and pressed a kiss onto her palm. When they had been lovers he had realized her weakness and now he was exploiting it. "Now tell me," he said as he returned to business, seeing the eager gleam in her eyes. "Why are you here?"

"They have taken in Gambit 'gain… and they know 'bout the cylinder." Rogue sat down and studied Magneto. She didn't really trust him, even if she had said so, but he was her only chance to lead a normal life. When he touched her, her powers didn't affect him and he had promised to research this phenomenon. It was the one thing she had always dreamt of; being in control of her powers.

Magneto leaned back in his chair. "This news won't please our… 'friend'." He regretted ever making this bargain. "Letting Gambit live was a mistake."

"Ah couldn't kill him," Rogue muttered. "Leavin' him there while knowin' what would happen was bad 'nough."

"You did what you had to, Rogue," Magneto reminded her, trying to manipulate her. "We made a deal, you and I. Now keep your of the bargain."

"Ah will," she mumbled. "So are yuh goin' ta tell Sinister what happened…?"

Magneto shivered, as a cold wind coursed through his mind. The magnetic layer was shifting, announcing a presence. "I don't think that's necessary."

Rogue stared hard at the figure, which appeared in front of them. She already felt uncomfortable about her alliance with Magneto, but she despised the newly arrived mutant.

"I'm displeased," Sinister announced and his glance shifted from Rogue to Magneto. "I agreed to secretly support you in your quest to gain control in Genosha, but I insist you keep your word. I was so close to claiming him! And now…"

"What do yuh want from the Cajun anyway?" Rogue asked curiously. Sinister seemed obsessed with Gambit.

Sinister didn't even look at her, ignored her question and continued to address Magneto. "I'll take matters into my own hands. The empath is mine!"

"Empath?" Rogue mumbled privately. "Never knew swamp rat was an empath!"

Finally, Sinister turned around to look at her. "You don't need to think. You were supposed to make sure that the X-Men would shut him out and you failed!"

"Ain't my fault that Logan got protective of Gambit!" she defended herself.

"What?" Sinister whispered the word in a dangerous tone. "What did you say?"

Rogue shrugged her shoulders. She was too deeply involved to get cold feet now. "Ah think Gambit worked his charm on Wolverine. Logan wanted ta kill me for leavin' Gambit in Antarctica."

Thoughtfully, Sinister pondered this admission. "So Gambit has a suitor?"

"Ah wouldn't worry 'bout that," Rogue said lazily. "Logan doesn't like men."

But that didn't reassure Sinister. "Wolverine and Gambit… I can't allow this to happen. I know just the person to terminate his existence."

"Yuh are goin' ta kill Logan?" Rogue whispered startled. This wasn't what she had signed up for. Magneto had assured her that no X-Men would be killed, not even Gambit.

"You stay out of this," Sinister admonished her. "Be very glad that I'm allowing you to continue your life. I should punish you for failing me."

Magneto had had enough of this. "Rogue won't get in your way."

"No, she won't," Sinister stated firmly. "Because I plan on completing my experiment personally."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Mansion

Charles' eyes mirrored regret and concern. Gambit had shared his painful past with them and he admired the young man's courage. He suspected that Logan was the only reason why Remy had told them about his painful experiences with Sinister. "I never suspected you were in such pain," he admitted. "Your shields were so strong."

"Don' worry about it, m'sieur." Embarrassed, he avoided Scott and Hank's eyes. He understood that his team leader and physician needed to know, but he would never be able to look at them again without feeling ashamed. They now knew what he had let Sinister do to him.

Logan recognized the expression in Remy's eyes and soothingly rubbed the young man's back. "We don't blame ya, kid and in yer heart ya know that. There was nothin' ya could have done to stop it. It wasn't yer fault."

Scott nodded his head. "Logan is right," he said in a soft tone. Trying to ease the tension in the room he added, "Never thought I would ever agree with Wolverine…"

Logan shot Scott an irritated look, but then realized the man's true intentions. Cyclops had been quite a surprise, reacting the way he did and he was even starting to respect the man. Hank however, had been remarkably quiet and he wondered what was going on in that complex mind. "Hank?" It pained him to see that Remy avoided looking at McCoy. Shame was written all over Gambit's face. He needs time, Logan reminded himself.

"I'm furious," Hank finally admitted in a surprisingly calm tone. He should have seen the signs, instead of ignoring them, but the Cajun had fooled him completely. Angry with himself, he wished Remy had trusted them enough to share his pain with them earlier! No one should have to deal with something that traumatic alone!

"Furious?" Remy stuttered. Was McCoy furious with him? There were too many feelings in the room and he couldn't sort them all out. The protective shield that Xavier had erected earlier was losing some of his strength and he was now able to receive feelings from several persons at the same time. Thankfully, they weren't that intense any longer. Maybe he was getting used to them. Mebbe my own shields are gettin' stronger!

"Yes," Hank confirmed, "I knew Sinister was capable of truly sadistic acts, but this…" His sad eyes fixed on Gambit, finally realizing what this young man had already been through in his short life.

"You ain't angry wid me den?" Remy sighed relieved. He couldn't believe that they blamed Sinister for what had happened. His charm had caused Sinister to want him. They had got it all wrong! But at the same time, it felt good to finally get it out of his system. This secret would someday have suffocated him!

"Of course not, my Cajun friend!" Hank stated resolved, perplexed that Gambit had reached that conclusion, but the guilty and ashamed expression in the red eyes explained everything. Resolved, he decided that he wanted to be there for Gambit, should Remy decide to accept his support. Maybe some counselling would help the young man to get to terms with this.

"Ya see? Told ya they would understand," Logan said, reassuringly, and lightly squeezed his lover's shoulder. Remy's ashamed glance made him ache inside. Gambit looked lost and it would take time for the young man to heal. "Hank, can we go now or do ya want Remy back in the med lab?"

Remy felt uncomfortable, hearing that question. All he really wanted was for Logan to hold him and to assure him that his past didn't matter. That he didn't love or respect him less, now that he knew about Sinister.

"I do need to examine his blood one more time. I don't want to take any risks." Hank stated. He wasn't going to release Remy until he was sure that the last remnants of chemicals had left his body. If Gambit still had suicidal tendencies or showed symptoms of paranoia, he would keep the young man in the med lab for further observation.

"Let's get goin'," Logan decided and gestured Remy to get to his feet as well, wanting this over with. Once Hank had giving them the okay, he intended to talk to the Cajun, hold him and learn as much as he could about the younger man.

"Where are you going to stay? At the boathouse or…?" Scott exchanged a glance with the professor. Both men knew that Gambit felt attracted to the Canadian and it looked like Logan returned those feelings, something that actually pleased him. "I'd prefer it if you stayed at the mansion, Gambit." That way he could keep an eye on the Cajun. He had failed Gambit once and he planned on rectifying that mistake.

 A slight blush crept across Remy's face, as he sensed Scott's gentle amusement, even contentment. Etrange, never realized dat Scott's dis open minded.  Scott's offer did make him feel welcome, but…"Would like to stay at de boathouse, Cyke."

"Why?" Hank asked, puzzled. "You need to be among friends."

Remy trembled at hearing Hank's remark. "Ain' sure I can deal wid all dese feelings and… not sure if de oders want me here."  Apologetically, he looked up at Logan. He couldn't make this huge transition in a few hours after living like a hermit for weeks. Deep inside his heart he still feared that they would change their minds and kick him out again. It was safer to keep some distance and remain at the boathouse. That way he wouldn't get hurt so badly.

"How about this?" Scott started, determined. He didn't want Gambit to flee the house again. "You stay here during the day… You need to start working out anyway and after dinner you and… Logan can retreat to the boathouse and share some private moments."

Scott! Came Jean's mental reprimand. You shouldn't do this, darling. Remy still feels incredibly insecure.

I'm only teasing! Scott objected. You told me to loosen up!

My God, I unleashed a monster! Jean sent, jokingly.

Logan gave Scott a questioning look, wondering if the man had just insulted them or… "Ya sure that Sinister didn't get to ya too? Yer actin' funny, Cyke."

But Remy was seriously considering that suggestion. Scott was right. He needed to get back in shape and stop avoiding people, but was he ready to take that step? A part of him just wanted to run away and never face life again.. "I accept…" He quickly looked at Logan to make sure the older man approved of his decision. "Mais if you don' wanna…"

"We accept," Logan corrected Remy, realizing the others already knew about their new relationship. It was good to know that they accepted this. To be honest, he had expected them to be prejudiced. "C'mon, darlin'," he whispered, using the word on purpose. Closely, he watched their reactions, but all he got were amused smiles. Except for Remy, who shot him a confused look. Raising his left hand, he briefly caressed Remy's face. "Let's go to the med lab."

Automatically, Remy leaned into the gentle touch, savouring the caress. Only then he realized that Hank was grinning broadly. It surprised him that Logan wanted the others to know that they had become lovers. Obediently, he allowed Logan to pull him along for his check up in the med lab.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Logan, why don't you fetch Gambit some decent clothes?" Hank suggested as he led Remy to an exam table. He wanted a word in private with his patient, but Logan seemed very reluctant to leave them alone.

Remy picked up on that hint and smiled at Logan. "It's okay, cher. You can find some clothes in my old room." It was incredible, but now that he had told them the truth, he felt terribly relieved; like a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Logan growled his complaints until he had left the med lab. "Cajun's already orderin' me around like a pup!" As he climbed the stairs, he caught Bobby's scent. "Don't play tricks on me, kid. I ain't in the mood!" A chilly sensation crept up his spin. Bobby had frozen the back of his shirt.

"When you're in love, you aren't supposed to be grumpy!" Bobby teased and walked up to Logan. The Canadian mystified him. "Never knew you were interested in Remy."

Logan eyed him suspiciously. "Why, were ya plannin' on hittin' on him?"

"I'm kinda jealous, yes," Bobby admitted and bumped into Logan as the older man stopped in his tracks. "It's not like that," he added quickly. "But I always assumed that I'm the only guy here who…"

"Likes men?" Logan finished for him. "Knew there was a reason why yer dates were disasters." Logan shook his head. I refuse bein' his role model! "Get yerself a boyfriend, Drake!"

"Wish it were that easy, Logan."

Turning around to face Drake, Logan caught the flustered face. "Ya worry too much, kid."

"So, it's true then?" Bobby said, returning to their original topic. "Remy and you are 'together' as in an item?"

"If ya want to phrase it like that," Logan sighed, exasperated. In a moment of honesty he added, "I prefer… lovers."

"Never knew you were a romantic at heart, Logan," Bobby teased, realizing he should stop bugging the Canadian. "Hope the two of you work out, Logan," he said sincerely and disappeared into his room.

"Kids…" Logan muttered softly. Drake's admission hadn't surprised him. He'd suspected for a long time that Bobby was attracted to men.

He had reached Remy's room and slowly pushed the door open, surprised that it wasn't locked. The room was a mess. Apparently, Remy had packed his things in a hurry, wanting to move out of the mansion as quickly as possible. He felt like an intruder. This wasn't his room. He wasn't supposed to be here.

"Just gettin' some clothes," he muttered privately and went through Remy's wardrobe, collecting some jeans and a black shirt. Just to be on the safe side, he also added a woollen sweater to the pile. He didn't want Gambit to feel cold. "Socks and shoes…" he reminded himself and collected them. A grin played on his face as he encountered the young man's collection of thongs. "Well, looks like I'm in for some surprises." Something at the back of the closet drew his attention and after placing the clothes onto the bed, he reached for the item. "A sketchbook?" His conscience warned him not to open it. Remy was entitled to his privacy and he had no business nosing around like this, but his curiosity got the better of him. Sitting on the floor, he opened the sketchbook and stared at the first pencil drawing.

"Kid's got talent," he whispered and whistled through his teeth. The first drawing showed Jean, smiling warmly and there was a distant look in her eyes. Flipping to the next page, his admiration for the Cajun's talent grew. It was Hank, sitting on his heels and eating… Twinkies? He burst out laughing at the expression in McCoy's eyes. Remy must have drawn them from memory. Never saw him sketchin'.

He found drawings of Scott, Jubilee, the professor, Storm and Rogue. Kid really loved her, he realized, seeing the tenderness Remy had managed to put into her eyes. As he reached the last page, he stared down at a drawing of himself, smoking a cigar and strutting his grin. Undecided, he closed the sketchbook again. Maybe Remy would want it close. It was obvious that the kid loved to draw, but handing it over meant confessing to nosing in his stuff. "Oh, what the hell," he whispered and added it to the pile of things to take to the med lab. He didn't want any more secrets to stand between them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Am I goin' to live, mon ami?" Remy asked as light hearted as possible. He wanted out of here, but Hank wouldn't let him go until the test results satisfied McCoy. No way was he going to give Hank a reason to keep him here!

"Yes, Gambit," Hank sighed and eyed his patient. "But only now I realize what you have struggled with for years. I'm so sorry that I let you down."

Confused, Remy looked into Hank's eyes. "What are you talkin' about, homme?"

"We should have given you enough reason to trust us. Instead you had to deal with this on your own. That must have been gruelling." Hank checked the latest test results and nodded his head. "You can leave the med lab once Logan has returned with your clothes, but you're going to follow my instructions. One, eat regular and high calorie food. Two, get at lest nine hours of sleep a day and tell me should you start to feel sick."

"De chemicals… dey're gone?" Remy asked, hesitantly. Secretly, he loved the fact that Hank was this worried about him. Only a few people ever fussed over him and he liked the concern more than he wanted to admit..

"Yes, but… Remy, you need to take things slow for a while. The professor will teach you to control your empathic gifts and…" Hank paused momentarily. "You know where to find me if you need to talk about Sinister."

"Merci, Henri, mais I feel more comfortable talkin' to Logan." Remy smiled apologetically. He did appreciate it, but still felt too ashamed to accept Hank's offer.

"I do understand," Hank replied and smiled. "It's good to see you smile again, Remy."

Feeling shy, Remy cocked his head. "Merci for bein' a friend, Henri."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan pulled the sweater over Remy's head. Even though the chemicals had left the Cajun's body, Gambit obviously needed rest. He'd been through a lot, which had taken its toll on him. "Found this in yer room," he said in an awkward tone and presented the sketchbook.

"Merci," Remy mumbled, savouring the warm sensation Logan was creating in his mind by just being here. "I forgot to take it along, oui." Shyly, he looked into Logan's blue eyes. Hank had left them alone so he could get dressed and he felt strangely vulnerable. Never before had he met someone like Logan, someone he was actually willing to trust, no matter how badly hurt he would end up.

"I need to get some things from my room too," Logan said and smiled, seeing the timid expression in Remy's eyes. Gambit was quite a surprise. In private, the cocky Cajun had disappeared and only a terribly vulnerable young man remained. "Wanna join me?"

Remy nodded his head and checked the time. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

"Lemme guess," Logan snorted. "Ya just wanna get back to the boathouse ASAP."

"Vrai," Remy admitted. "I don' feel comfortable here."

Logan sighed softly. "We're stayin' for dinner and then we will return to the boathouse. Ya need to get used to bein' among people again."

"You're right," Remy whispered as he slipped into his boots. After combing his hair with his fingers, he picked up the sketchbook and looked up questioningly. "I'm ready, cher."

Logan nodded his head and curled an arm around the young man's waist. "I miss carryin' ya around." Remy chuckled. "Haven't heard ya do that in a long time. Yer feelin' better, don't ya?"

"Oui," Remy replied, as they walked into the corridor and he prayed that they wouldn't run into any people. Xavier's shield was weakening and his own needed more time to recuperate. "I'm only feelin' better 'cause you're here for me," he confessed in a shaky tone. Logan's love had given him the courage to try again. "You saved my life, cher."

Affectionately, Logan rubbed Gambit's back through the fabric. Speechless, he gritted his teeth. This young Cajun had managed to touch his heart and he realized that Remy had already become part of his soul. "We'll talk once we get back to the boathouse. I wanna ask ya so many questions…"

Remy smiled weakly. "I doubt you'll like de answers." Mais Logan knows most of my secrets now. Except for his forced collaboration with Sinister, he hadn't committed any crimes…If you don' count my thievin' days…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had reached Logan's room and as the Canadian stepped inside. Remy followed hesitantly. This was Logan's room and he had never been here before. He wasn't sure Logan wanted him in here. The first thing he noticed was the Spartan interior. Apparently, Logan didn't believe in luxury. Only the bed with satin sheets looked fairly comfortable.

As Logan went through the room to collect his belongings, Remy walked over to the window. A beautiful weapon sat upon a cupboard and had caught his attention. "Is dat a katana?"

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Didn't know yer interested in weaponry." He threw his bag onto the bed and joined Remy. "Ever seen one before?"

"Oui." Remy nodded his head. "And dis thief knows it's very valuable."

"Of course, yer old man would have taught ya how to tell forgery from the real thing," Logan whispered.

"Actually, it ain' mon père who told me 'bout dis weapon." Remy smiled, sensing Logan's growing curiosity. "Spent six months in Tokyo…"

Remy's hesitation only fed his curiosity. "Ya were a long way from New Orleans, kid. Why?" His eyes had shifted from the katana to Remy's face. The bruises still reminded him of what could have happened, had the nightmares gotten hold of him. But even with the bruises Gambit looked breathtaking.

"Dere's a lot of money to earn in dis department, cher. People pay a lot of money for de right objects, especially for a genuine katana  Mon père wanted me to learn 'bout Japanese art and sent me to de University of Tokyo. Dey have dis short-term student exchange program and offer seminars on Japanese Studies, Dynamics of Japanese Cultural History, Aspects of Japanese Society… just never learned to speak de language."

Up until now, Logan had never wondered about Remy's education, but as a masterthief it was only logical that Gambit had a vast knowledge of cultures and arts. "Never knew that."

"X-Men never asked," Remy whispered embarrassed. Maybe he was revealing too much to Logan, but the Canadian seemed genuinely interested in him. "Mon père was proud when I got my master's degree… Arts," he explained, feeling uncomfortable.

Tenderly, Logan pulled him closer, impressed by the young man's academic record. Yeah, Gambit had made a valid point. They had never been interested in his past. He wondered if the professor or Ro knew what talents Remy was hiding. "What do ya know about the katana?"

Remy rubbed his temple. "It's been years, cher," he whispered abesentmindedly, accessing his trained memory. "De katana is most commonly associated wid de Samurai of old. It represents not only deir weapon, but also "the soul of Bushi". Somethin' like dat," he added apologetically, peeking at Logan.

When he had just joined the X-Men, Storm had told him what she thought he needed to know about his teammates. She had also mentioned that no one knew Logan's real age. Due to the healing factor Logan's age simply couldn't be established. "Why do you keep a katana in here? Dey're considered sacred." He knew better than to touch it. Only its master was allowed to wield it. How old are you, Logan and what secrets are you hidin'?

"Maybe I'll tell ya what the soul of Bushi really is," Logan muttered, highly impressed by Remy's knowledge of this ancient tradition. "I've got my things and now I'm hungry. Let's get somethin' to eat and then we'll return to the boathouse. Ya like that, darlin'?"

Deliciously sensual quavers coursed through his body, hearing that last word. "No one ever called me dat and meant it," Remy stuttered honestly.

Logan nodded his head. "There's a lot ya need to tell me about Rogue and ya. Ya better get used to hearin' it, darlin'." He brushed Remy's lips and the Cajun instantly leaned into the caress, but he released Gambit after planting another gentle kiss onto those delicious lips. Before this could go any further they needed to address a few issues.

Remy's stomach growled and Logan grinned. "Are ya goin' to eat or do I have to force feed ya?"

"I'll eat," Remy promised and hesitantly, treading on unfamiliar territory, he leaned in closer, gingerly kissing Logan's lips.

This is the first time he's takin' the initiative, Logan realized, pleased and slowly deepened the kiss. Remy's tongue chased his and he enjoyed the little hunt. "Stop teasin' me."

But Remy's thoughts circled around something completely else. Now that his charm power was gone, he didn't feel that helpless anymore. It wasn't affecting Logan and he didn't have to be scared that the charm would overwhelm the Canadian. Dis is etrange… Logan's in control of his feelings and I can… trust him not to hurt me.

Remy's thoughts were clearly written on his face and Logan's fingertips brushed his lover's throat. "Yer relieved that yer flamin' charm's gone?" He had wondered about this development, realizing it had to scare Gambit to lose one power and gain another!

"It's hard to believe dat's gone, cher," Remy  smiled shyly. "First time dat I don' have to worry about…"

"People gettin' too close and hurtin' ya?" Logan phrased diplomatically, not wanting to disturb the moment's serenity. "We're gonna continue this later. Now, we're goin' to eat dinner."

Remy nodded his head. "You're ready to go, cher?"

"Yeah," Logan stated, relieved that Remy wasn't reacting that overly emotional any longer. They should have noticed that something was wrong! Instead, Sinister had almost driven Remy to suicide! "C'mon, darlin'," he whispered, relishing the soft blush that crept over Gambit's face whenever he used that word. Yeah, he definitely loved Remy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Storm, Jean, Scott, Hank, Bobby and the professor had gathered in the dining room, waiting for Gambit to join them for dinner. Xavier and Jean smiled, sensing that the two men were approaching.

"Bobby, help me get the food from the kitchen?" Jean inquired, as she hurried off.

Feeling hungry, Bobby didn't give the request a second thought and followed her.

Scott hoped that dinner would go well. He wanted Gambit to know that he had a home here, even a family if he wanted it. Logan entered first and Scott noticed the way Remy was trying to hide behind the Canadian's back. He couldn't help wonder how long it would take Remy to learn control over his empathic gifts. "Glad you decided to join us," he welcomed them and gestured everyone to sit down.

Logan stayed at Remy's side, never leaving him. Gambit was still too fragile to fend for himself and he was more than willing to look after his new lover. Jean brought in the food and he sniffed appreciatively. Steak, baked potatoes, greens… I'm dyin' to sink my teeth into that steak!

After Jean and Bobby had also taken their seats, everyone filled their plate, mumbling compliments addressed to the cook, Jean. Logan however, noticed the tiny amount of food laying on Remy's plate. Well, it's a start, he told himself, but was determined to make sure the Cajun ate enough calories. Remy really needed to gain some weight.

Jean and Bobby supplied the small talk, while Scott and the professor kept looking at him, which made Remy feel extremely uncomfortable, as he was unable to block their concern. Yes, he understood that Xavier was worried, after all he was still one of the professor's students, but Scott? Wasn't the man taking his role as team leader a little too seriously? But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't detect any animosity or anger in their minds. Luckily, their feelings had become a soft hum in his mind; occasionally curving when someone laughed at one of Bobby's jokes. He could deal with this warm echo in his mind.

"Yer okay?" Logan inquired softly. Remy had stared at Scott for a while and he was getting worried that his lover was sinking back into one of those fits of apathy.

"Oui, I'm fine, cher."

Storm smiled hearing the silent exchange. She liked the change in Remy's eyes and felt relieved. As dinner progressed, she watched him in silence and whenever his hesitant eyes lifted to meet hers, she gave him a warm smile.

Remy sighed relieved. So far, so good. Can' be dis lucky. Somethin' will ruin dis. He glanced at Logan and relaxed seeing those warm blue eyes. Logan was his guardian angel and would help him heal… at least, he hoped so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You look tired, cher," Remy remarked, as Logan closed the door behind them. Now that they were back at the boathouse, he felt more comfortable.

"Ya got yer beauty sleep, kid. I've been up worryin' about ya." Surprised, Logan noted the changing expression in the Cajun's eyes. "What?"

"Not many people worry about me, cher," Remy said in a shy tone and peeked through the locks that had fallen in front of his face. "Let me carry our things up to de bedroom," he offered, but Logan stopped him.

Logan raised one hand and placed it on Gambit's shoulder. "Yer sure ya want me sleepin' that close to ya?" Feeling incredibly guilty for hurting Gambit earlier, his fingertips traced the bruises. "I'm too dangerous when the nightmares…"

Remy cocked his head and brushed Logan's hand with his cheek. "I need you close, cher."

"'Kay," Logan muttered. "I'm goin' to unpack the food stuff. Why don't ya get comfortable in bed?"

Remy smiled lazily. "Warm up the bed for you, non?" Briefly, he feared that Logan would insist on sleeping on the couch. Instinctively, he knew that he couldn't be alone at night yet. His nightmares would torment him, but Logan's presence would keep them away. Maybe he could find a way to return the favor. As he climbed the stairs, he wondered if he could also send emotions into people's mind. He was learning how to control the incoming stream of feelings and perhaps he could find a way to reverse the process. That way he could soothe Logan should the nightmares reappear or keep them from appearing in the first place.

Lost in thought, he unpacked Logan's bag and put the clothes into the closet. He shivered slightly, as he remembered that Logan still had some questions for him to answer. What were they about? Remy grabbed a pair of sweats from his own bag and changed into them. Although he had slept more in these last few days than during several weeks, he still felt awfully tired and slipped into bed. As he lay there waiting for Logan, he realized the uniqueness of the situation. He was so used to sleeping on his own that the mere thought of cuddling up to Logan made him tremble with anticipation.

"I hope for yer sake that I don't snore!" Logan teased as he entered the room. Remy's expression had been so tense that he had wanted to lift his mood a little.

"I wouldn' mind," Remy assured him and watched Logan's every move as the man took off his clothes and then put on the pyjama bottoms. Riplin' muscle, he sighed blissfully, but he recognized the undertone of fear in his own thoughts. Strong 'nough to keep me down… like Sinister did. Why the hell had he accepted Logan as his lover? The mere idea of being with a man still scared him after all these years.

Logan smelled that fear and reacted to it. "Want me to sleep on the couch?" His tone was honest and caring, trying to reassure his lover that no matter what Gambit decided it was okay with him.

"Non, cher… don' go," Remy replied pleadingly. "I jus' need time."

"I understand that, darlin'. I really do." Logan slid beneath the comforter and waited to see if Remy would move into his arms.

Remy accepted the invitation and forced himself to relax as Logan's arms loosely closed around him. Logan loves me. I'm safe! he reminded himself. Using Logan's chest and arm as a pillow, he rested his head on them. The skin on skin contact was unnerving, but at the same time tantalizing. Now that the chemicals were no longer affecting him, his awareness had also changed. Fear and excitement mingled in his mind and he wasn't sure which was stronger.

"Can I ask ya a personal question, darlin'?" He's blushing 'gain! Logan peeked at the younger man. He loved holding Remy like this and placed a hand on his lover's left thigh, pulling it closer to his body until Gambit's leg rested on his hip.

Quivering, Remy raised his eyes. Now that Logan had moved his leg they lay even closer entangled. "Mais oui, ask." He had given up on avoiding Logan's questions.

"I was wonderin'," Logan started and fingered a lock of soft auburn hair. "Yer my first male lover… what about ya?"

Merde! Why did it have to be that question? "Got a confession to make," he whispered in a guilty tone.

"Yeah?" Logan waited for his lover to continue, noticing Gambit's increasing fear. "Ya can trust me, darlin'."

Hearing that word made Remy give in and tell the complete truth. "Only Sinister…"

Shocked, Logan tightened his hold on the shivering Cajun. "Kid, ya ain't tellin' me that…"

"When I was still livin' in N'arlings, mon père told me dat I had to marry Belle to stop the fighin' between de T'ieves and Assasssins. But dat marriage ended in disaster and after Sinister I never…"

"Remy, are ya tellin' me that Sinister was the first…?" Logan mumbled shocked.

"And de last." Remy's whispered words trembled through the bedroom. "Didn' have a real lover… never. I was scared of what de charm could provoke and…"

"I'm so sorry, kid," Logan said sincerely and pulled the young man closer to his chest. "But I assumed… ya were always away at night and…"

Remy closed his eyes and decided he had to come clean for once and for all. "Was too afraid to let people touch me, cher."

"That's why ya chose to be with Rogue," Logan suddenly realized.

"Oui," Remy admitted in a heavy tone, burying his face in Logan's arms. "I could allow myself to love her. Couldn' touch her and…"

Logan wondered if Rogue had realized the truth when she had kissed him. Was this the real reason why she had left him there to die? Because Remy didn't really love her?

Remy sensed Logan's turmoil, finally realizing why it was there. "I didn' lie, Logan. I care 'bout her… maybe even loved her… but…merde, I'm so confused…" The more he confided in Logan, the more he started to hate himself for the way he had treated Rogue.

"Cut yerself some slack," Logan said eventually, trying hard to come to terms with Remy's confession. "I doubt Rogue's so called feelings for ya were pure and honest." But what really shocked him was the fact that Remy had never had a real lover. Sinister doesn't count. The bastard raped a kid 'cause Remy couldn't control his powers and took advantage of that!

Remy held his breath, waiting for Logan to continue. Did the man still want him? Why would Logan still want him? Tears appeared in his eyes and he couldn't stop the wave of sadness that rolled through him. He wished Logan had never asked him all these questions!.

"Yer life is gonna change, Remy," Logan promised passionately. "Yer my lover and I'm gonna try very hard to make ya happy."

Hearing that promise only increased the intensity of his sobs. "I don' understand, cher. Why me? Why still want me?"

Logan smiled, pressed a passionate kiss on Remy's lips and whispered, "'Cause I love ya."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Insert the adamantium!"

The man's cold voice cut Logan's mind apart, injecting horrific memories into the present. "Don't…" Logan yelped in his sleep, as the scientists prepared his body to start the procedure that would change his life forever. A part of his mind had distanced himself from the scene, trying to avoid the pain that would consume his body within seconds. Another part was unable to let go and dragged him back into the pitch-black memories, which suffocated him. "THE PAIN!"

"This time we've got to succeed!" a man in a lab coat said determined.

"No, stop it!" Logan yelled, but they never listened to his pleas and the pain intensified. While trashing on the bed, he tried to regain control over his senses, but this time the nightmares had melted with his mind and had taken him back into the past. He was back in the lab, helpless and in such pain that only his will power kept him from blacking out.

"Logan, wake up, cher."

The soft voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't label it. He knew however, that the voice didn't belong here in the past. Instinctively he clung to the words, the voice, desperately seeking a way out of his tangled mind. But the scientists suddenly dropped him into the tank and liquids smothered the voice. "Please… don't go 'way…" he pleaded softly.

"Logan, you're havin' a nightmare, cher," Remy said in a firm tone, as Logan's pain and terror washed through him. This time however, he refused to be overwhelmed and stood his ground. When they had gone to sleep he had realized that there was a chance that Logan's nightmares might resurface and when they had, he hadn't panicked. Logan's mind tasted of venomous fear and he clung to his love for the older man to guide him through the maze of the Canadian's pain filled memories. He had to find a way to get through to Logan, who was struggling to get out of the bed. Quickly, he grabbed Logan's wrists to make sure that he wouldn't be slammed into the wall again and jerked him closer. "Logan, listen to me. You're havin' a nightmare. You're safe! Open your eyes and look at me!" It never crossed his mind that Logan could resort to using his claws to free himself.

Logan's struggling slowed down, as that hypnotic voice became his anchor in this emotional storm. His instincts kept him from surrendering completely, but he realized that he wasn't alone. Someone's here, tryin' to help me… He focused on the hypnotic voice.

"Logan, look at me, cher!" Remy commanded. The blue eyes finally opened. But the amount of pain and fear in Logan's mind was strangling him, pushing the oxygen from his lungs and leaving him incapable of drawing another breath. "Please, cher…" Right then, he realized that the nightmares were keeping Logan prisoner. He had to break that hold! "Merde, cher… don' know if I can do dis." Logan's fear was battering against his shields and seeping through. The pain would run him over in seconds if he didn't act! "Should have asked de professor to show me more…" he muttered and stared into Logan's motionless eyes. Wolverine appeared paralysed, incapable of any movement at all.

What were the extents of his empathic powers? He had wondered earlier if he could also send people his feelings or was his ability limited to merely receiving them? Guess it's time to find out de hard way!  Logan needed him and he had to try and find out. He still had a tight hold on Logan's wrists, but resorted to stroking the skin in a slow, sensual way. "Logan, cher, listen to me," he started and inhaled deeply. Failure wasn't an option, he had to succeed!

Deliberately, he locked Logan's fear out of his mind and then focused on his love for the older man, gathered every thought he had ever had that had been filled with passion, affection and love for Logan. It took on the form of a bright golden ball. That glowing sphere contained his love and he hoped it was enough to snap Logan out of his nightmares. Remy prayed that his empathy worked both ways! Then he could reach Logan's mind and calm him down!

The golden sphere now sat between his hands and he moved them closer to Logan's face so the glow covered the Canadian's features. "Hope dis works, cher," Remy muttered softly. He refused to think about what would happen should he fail. "Lemme help you find your way back, cher. Lemme in," he pleaded as the golden glow melted into Logan's face.

Logan flinched as the warm sensation flowed through his body. Slowly, it wrapped itself around every cell in his body, offering warmth, comfort and love. It drove away the cold voices and sharp pain stabbing memories. Panting softly, he never considered fighting the warmth and surrendered to the sensation, which enfolded his mind and body in warm and gentle caresses. He had never felt this warm and cherished before and at the same time he felt needed, loved… complete. What was the source of this warmth? Fully opening his eyes he stared into burning red orbs. "Remy," he whispered affectionately. Remy had managed to calm him down, lure him away from the nightmares and back to the present. Question was, how? How had the Cajun managed to reach that deeply into his mind?

In the past, nightmares like these had set of feral periods in which he had lost all sense of reality. Only then, he realized that Remy's hands were tightly clutching his face, forcing his stare to meet red eyes. "This warmth…" he stuttered, taken aback and then allowed himself to relax against the warm body. Cold sweat covered his brow and he fought back the memories that were trying to slip back in. His hands shook violently, but those warm red eyes kept him from going insane. "Are ya doin' this?"

Remy sighed, relieved to see recognition in Logan's eyes. "I think so," he admitted in a shy tone. Where had his confidence gone? Only a few seconds ago he had faced Logan's hellish pain and now…

"Thanks, Remy," Logan said, deeply touched by Remy's concern. "But explain to me what happened? What's this warmth I'm feelin'?" Remy's eyes reluctantly met his and he almost lost himself in the sea of love those red eyes promised. Remy bit his lower lip in frustration. Logan growled softly, as one droplet of blood appeared, sitting temptingly on Gambit's full lips. Just in time, he stopped himself from tasting the blood. He wanted answers first.

"Looks like I can also send you my feelings, cher. Wasn' sure if I could do dat, mais de nightmares were real for you and I couldn' reach you oderwise…" Remy whispered apologetically. "Didn' want to go into your mind like dat, mais… don' want to lose you, cher." Peeking at Logan's face, he caught the last remnants of fear, which were quickly vaporizing into thin air. Logan's grin returned and made him go weak. Good thing that he was already lying down. The gratitude Logan emanated was something he couldn't block out completely and eventually, he drew it into his mind, cherishing that sensation.

"Remy, thanks… Would have gone feral without yer help," Logan admitted. If it hadn't been for Remy he might be tearing up the boathouse right now to get the rage and pain out of his system. Then another realization hit him hard. "This is how ya feel about me?" he whispered, feeling tremendously honored. Remy's feelings still lingered inside his mind, offering a safe haven, a sanctuary, where he could escape his past.  "I hope I'll never forget the way ya feel about me," he added as Remy nodded his head. "Ya know … I've got memory implants. Don't know what's true and what's fake."

Remy's eyes widened in sympathy. "Dis is real, cher."

"Yeah, it is," Logan muttered and studied the young man lying next to him. Remy had wrapped his arms around him and he sighed in contentment. "Remy?"

"Oui, cher?" Remy cuddled up to his lover and pulled him closer. Inwardly, he grinned. He'd never imagined that Logan would allow holding him like this, surrendering to his care. This was the first time that he had offered another living soul some comfort and Logan accepted it. Consoling someone was new to him, but he loved being able to take Logan's pain away.

"What did ya see in my mind?" Logan cringed at the thought that Remy had shared his pain.

"It doesn' work like dat, cher…" Remy tried to explain. "Dis is new to me too." Logan's head now rested against his shoulder and before he knew what he was doing, his hands tangled in the dark hair. "I felt your pain, your fear, terror, black and hauntin', mais I didn' see anythin' in your mind. I ain' a telepath."

Logan recognized the self-doubt in those alien eyes and snorted contentedly, "Sure as hell glad ya love me, Remy. Wouldn't want ya as an enemy," he said, realizing that Remy could immobilize someone quite easily by sending them fear and panic. "Ya should learn how to use this ability in battle."

"I will," Remy promised. "Mais later." Right now, he was holding Logan and the older man had melted into the embrace. "Dis feels seriously weird, cher."

"Why?" Logan peeked at his lover's face and smiled at the genuine wonder in the red eyes.

"Was never allowed dis close," Remy replied awkwardly. "No one ever asked me to… comfort or hold dem." By accepting his comfort, Logan had given him a precious gift. "Merci," he whispered, hoping that Logan understood his rambling.

"I understand," Logan said affectionately, but at the same time he was fighting down his rage aimed at Sinister who had scarred Remy for life. I'll kill the bastard the next time we meet.

"Why are you angry?" Logan's feelings had become a part of him, but he couldn't explain this sudden rage.

Logan didn't want to bring up Sinister, but Remy wouldn't give up until he knew the truth. "Knowin' Sinister is responsible for yer pain makes me mad," he finally admitted. "Ya've got so much to give and Sinister… I just want to kill him."

"Logan, cher…" Remy smiled weakly. Logan was the first person he had ever entrusted that secret to and the older man's reactions still baffled him. He had expected loathing and rejection, but never these fierce feelings of protection and affection. "Merci, cher, means a lot to me dat you don' blame me for what happened…"

"But ya still blame yerself," Logan whispered knowingly and slid his arms behind Remy's back, completing the embrace. He didn't know what to expect and he mentally prepared himself for another of Remy's emotional outburst. But the chemicals no longer affected the young Cajun and his reaction was calm and subdued.

"It was my charm makin' Sinister act like dat. You can' really blame him. I should have stayed 'way from him…"

"Remy," Logan sighed and pressed a passionate kiss on Gambit's throat. "It wasn' yer fault. Ya need to move on."

"How can I?" 

Logan noticed the vulnerable tone and wished he had the answer to that question. "Lemme love ya. That would be a start."

Remy nodded his head and stroked his lover's black hair. "I'm workin' on dat, cher, mais it ain' easy."

Logan knew he was making himself very vulnerable by saying, "Just hold me, darlin'," but that didn't matter. Only Remy's needs mattered. "Just hold me and keep the nightmares away." He wanted Remy to feel wanted, needed.

Remy chuckled softly, realizing what Logan was up to. Might not be able to read your thoughts, mon amant, mais your emotions reveal a lot. "Love holdin' you, cher," he whispered in a warm tone. This relationship was like nothing he had imagined it would be like. It was so much better! "Think you can go back to sleep, cher?"

"Yeah." Logan closed his eyes and realized that he still felt this incredible warmth in his mind, but it was slowly retreating, leaving a part of his soul cold and apprehensive. "Remy, I like havin' ya in my mind, stay."

"Are you sure about that, cher? Never asked permission to enter…"

Logan cut him short. "It's been a long time since someone loved me like this. Don't take it away from me."

Unable to deny his lover this request, Remy nodded his head. "Mais oui, cher. If dat's what you want." He intensified the glow, feeding it with the growing respect and love he felt for Logan. "Like dat?"

"Yeah, now stop talkin' and go back to sleep. I plan on us workin' out tomorrow. Ya need the rest."

"I'm still on sick leave," Remy reminded him, amused.

"Don't worry. I'll go easy on ya," Logan teased, as he inhaled his lover's scent.

Remy listened to the now steady breathing and felt Logan's firm heartbeat beneath his fingertips. Logan was quickly falling asleep and he was tempted to close his eyes as well, but the fact that he was holding his lover kept him awake. Merci, Logan. Merci, for trustin' me… for lettin' your guard down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy stayed awake during the next two hours, tenderly caressing the skin underneath his fingers, kissing the black hair and eventually he mumbled the words of an old lullaby tante used to sing when she rocked him asleep. "Good thin' you're asleep, cher," he muttered privately. "I love bein' dere for you and dis is de first time dat someone turned to me for comfort."

"Go to sleep, kid," Logan growled. "And stop broodin'."

"You're awake! You heard me sing dat lullaby!"

A tired growl escaped Logan's lips as he turned onto his left side. Pressing his body into Remy's, he took hold of the Cajun's arms and wrapped them around his waist.

Suddenly, Remy found himself spooned into the warm body in front of him. He blushed, as Logan wriggled closer. "Cher, what are you doin'?" Logan remained silent and in the end, he nuzzled Logan's neck and throat, settling into this new position. As he pulled the comforter over their bodies, he marvelled at the turn this relationship had taken. "I'll keep your nightmares away," he promised passionately, as sleep finally claimed him, never hearing Logan's answer.

"Yer already doin' that, darlin'."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The delicious and mouth-watering smell of bacon and eggs made Logan's nose wrinkle in eager anticipation. Sniffing the air, he quickly realized that the smell had set off his hungry stomach. As he reached for Remy's warm body, he suddenly realized that he was alone in bed. "Remy?" Then it dawned on him that his lover was probably preparing breakfast.

Last night's events returned and he sighed heavily, remembering the panic and pain that had almost set off his primal instincts. Remy however, had helped him regain control and he felt immensely grateful that the younger man hadn't shied away from him. Come to think of it, he hadn't picked up any fear at all. Remy hadn't even hesitated to reach out to him. I should be the one preparin' breakfast, pamperin' him.

It still frustrated him that he hadn't known what Sinister had done to Gambit. They had failed a team-mate by not giving Remy enough reason to trust them. Protectin' himself… that was all he could do… Instead, we should have helped him deal with it! Even in his wildest dreams, he failed to imagine the horrors Remy must have been subjected to. Sinister must have frightened the young and scared Cajun. All he could do was to allow the bastard to take him! Couldn't even fight him off. Wouldn't be surprised to learn that he fought Sinister until the bastard knocked him out cold or told his Marauders to pin him down. Can't even begin to understand how bad it must have been for him.

Quickly, he slipped into a shirt and soundlessly he descended the stairs. Yeah, he had been right. Remy was preparing breakfast and had already made some black coffee, which could wake the dead. He tried to label the melody Remy was humming, but failed. Using the cover of Remy's humming he sneaked in closer, wanting to surprise his lover. The scream that cut through the kitchen took him completely by surprise. He'd wrapped his arms around Remy's waist like he had done many times before, but this time the stench of fear the younger man emanated almost made him nauseous.

Remy reacted instinctively, grabbed the restraining arms and tried to flip his assailant over onto his back to create more distance between them. The man standing behind him, however, was way too heavy to be taken down and his old fear returned. It had to be Sinister! "Lemme go!" he yelped and tried to struggle free.

"Remy, it's me, Logan!" he said in a firm tone. What the hell was going on? Why was Remy reacting like this? It's just a fuckin' embrace! Quickly, he pulled back, releasing his lover and backed away from Gambit, who was shaking violently. "Remy?" What was he missing here?

"Logan?" Remy whispered nervously, before turning around to face the older man. Merde! He'd tried taking out his lover! Little by little, he managed to regulate his breathing and he made sure there was sufficient distance between them to make him feel comfortable. "Don' ever do dat 'gain!" His heart pounded madly in his chest and he had dropped the plate, which had been filled with scrambled egg.

"Why? What scared ya?" Logan closely observed his lover's eyes, smelling and seeing Remy's fear. Tentatively, he took a step closer. When Remy didn't back away from him, he crossed the distance between them, but didn't touch his lover yet. "Talk to me, Remy."

Remy looked away, focusing his attention on the toast.

"Remy? I want an answer."

"He used to sneak up on me from behind…" Remy finally admitted, cringing at the memories, which he was trying hard to keep locked away.

"Sinister?" Logan drew in his breath. "Never wanted to scare ya." Privately, he cursed his own stupidity. Damn! Should have been more careful! Should have asked him what not to do!

Remy had managed to calm down and recomposed himself. "Ain' your fault, cher… I should get over it and forget it ever happened."

Logan noticed the sadness to his lover's tone and raised his hand in invitation. "Can I touch ya? Wanna hold ya." he explained awkwardly. Suddenly, life had kicked him right in the face again, reminding him that Remy was suffering too. The suspicious expression in Gambit's eyes made him hold his breath. "Please say yes, kid."

"Oui," he whispered after a moment, still wondering if he had made the right decision. But this was Logan and he trusted him, had held him close in his sleep.

Logan reached out and folded one arm around Remy's shoulder, pulling the Cajun to his chest. "Will never 'gain sneak up on ya like that. Anything else I should know?"

Remy shook his head. "I didn' know you were dis close, cher. Didn' hear you."

Logan led him to the table and sat him down. "I'll clean up the mess."

"I can…"

Logan reacted by placing a gentle kiss on Remy's lips. "Ya can get the coffee and toast."

"Bien," Remy muttered, slightly embarrassed. "I usually ain' dat jumpy."

"But me grabbin' hold of ya from behind brought back memories, didn't it?"

"Oui," Remy admitted, shakily. "Had it locked 'way until…"

"Until Sinister got hold of ya in Antarctica and implanted that cylinder. Any idea why he did that?" Logan had moved back to the counter and cleaned up the broken plate and scrambled egg. It definitely looked like they had to deal with Sinister before they could move on with their lives.

"Payback?" Remy shrugged his shoulders.

But Logan could tell that Remy was keeping back. "And…?"

"I still wonder why he let me go 'gain…" Remy whispered, softly.

"My thoughts exactly." Logan carried the plates over to the table and sipped from the black coffee Remy had poured. "Yer still afraid that he will return for ya…"

"Oui," Remy muttered. "And I'll never be strong enough to fight him."

"He'll have to go through me first to get to ya," Logan reminded him in a passionate tone. "But we should tell Chuck to hurry up and locate Sinister's base."

"Why?" Remy shuddered. "Mebbe if we leave him 'lone, he won' come after me."

"Don't fool yerself, Remy." Gently, Logan caressed his lover's face. "We need to settle this for once and for all or Sinister will always haunt ya."

Remy wasn't going to deny the truth, but… "I ain' sure I can give you what you need, cher."

Logan nodded his head. "Don't worry 'bout that, Remy. I discovered a long time ago that love and sex ain't the same. We still have plenty of ways left to express our love."

Remy smiled. "Never realized dat you're a philosopher, cher." The reassurance brightened the gloomy morning. "I want to make you happy too, cher."

"Then stop worryin' 'bout me," Logan chided him softly and piled toast, bacon and eggs, and fruit on to Remy's plate. "After you ate that, we're going to the mansion. I'm sure Hank will want to check on ya."

"Can I take a shower first?" Remy stared at the piled up food on his plate. "If I'm goin' to eat all dat, no way I'm goin' to be able to walk to de mansion, Logan."

Logan shot him an amused grin. "Want me to carry you 'gain?"

"Non!" Remy objected in mock shock.

The wink the Cajun gave him, made Logan smile. Remy needs time and I've got the patience to wait until he's ready to be with me. He sent Remy upstairs, insisting he could clean up the remnants of breakfast so his younger lover could take that shower. It also gave him a chance to think about everything that had happened this morning. He had been serious when reassuring Remy that they had plenty of ways left to express their love. It would take a long time to undo the damage Sinister had inflicted on Remy and he was determined to take this slow and do everything right.

"I'm nervous too," he admitted privately, now that Remy couldn't hear him. Remy was his first male lover and he wondered about his role in this relationship. Ever since he had accepted Gambit as his lover, he had fantasized about making love to Remy, but…  honestly, all he could think about was burying himself in his lover's warm body. But that was the one thing Remy was terrified of. "Damn ya, Sinister!"

What about the other way around? Remy doing the taking? The thought actually made him chuckle, as he had a hard time visualizing that one. Did Remy possess the aggressiveness to take him? "Not sure about that," he whispered. He didn't really doubt Remy's ability to seduce him and have his wicked way with him, but somehow it troubled him to have his lover in that predatory role. "What the hell. We need to start out slowly. I need to show him that he can trust me. That I ain't like Sinister…" But that was another thing he found himself wondering about. Exactly what had the bastard done to his lover? There was no other way out. They'd have to address it. As he climbed the stairs, he realized that the water in the shower was still running and temptation got the better of him. After debating the matter privately he knocked on the door. Not gonna startle him 'gain!

"Oui, cher?" Remy looked up from underneath the water beams and sought out Logan's eyes. "Wanna watch?" As long as Logan didn't startle him, everything was just fine.

"Ya want me to?" Logan licked his lips as his eyes travelled down the smooth body. Remy was built for endurance, not brute strength. A hairless chest, washboard abdomen and… long legs. His eyes skipped part of the younger man's body. I ain't gonna stare!

"I don' bite, cher," Remy teased and grabbed the soap to lather his body. "Too bad dat I can' reach my back…" He gave Logan a wink. "Wanna help?"

That question took Logan by surprise. "Ya don't have to do this, darlin'. I can wait." He didn't want Remy to feel pressured in to doing anything that caused him discomfort.

Remy smiled warmly. "It's okay, cher." He handed Logan the soap. "You might wanna take your clothes off first." Doing this scared the hell out of him, but he refused to give into his fear. Can' let Sinister win. Logan's de best t'ing dat ever happened to me… I don' wanna lose him…

Logan shrugged off his shirt and pyjamas bottoms and stepped underneath the shower, which was big enough for them both. "Promise to tell me when I do somethin' that makes ya uncomfortable?" He wanted that promise before touching Remy.

"I will," Remy replied and hesitantly turned around so Logan could do his back. Unable to see what the older man was doing, he gritted his teeth and his hands changed into fists.

Reading Remy's apparent body language Logan nodded his head once. Won't betray yer trust in me. With slow strokes he moved the soap over Remy's bruised back. He still regretting slamming Remy in to that wall, still felt guilty for losing control. "This 'kay with ya?"

"Oui." Logan dropped the soap to massage his tense back. The fact that Logan's mind only radiated concern and affection assured him that the Canadian had no intention of hurting him. Don' even feel any lust in his mind!

Logan focused on his love for Remy, not lust. He desperately wanted to take away the young man's fear and tightly controlled his primal urges, which were telling him to take advantage of the situation and to ravish this willing young Cajun. He was growing hard, but with iron will power he forced his arousal to fade. First, he needed to prove to Remy that he could control his lust.

Eventually, Remy leaned against Logan's chest and pulled the strong arms around his shoulders. "You're de first person to make me feel completely safe," he admitted, shakily. Feeling a naked body behind him, made him shiver, but knowing it was Logan reassured him that everything was fine. "Sinister always felt so… cold… like touchin' metal."

"Remy," Logan turned him around in the embrace so he could look at his lover's face. Gambit's scent was free of fear and he grew more confident. "Can I kiss ya?"

"Of course you can, cher," Remy whispered, trying to act like this didn't faze him, but it did. Logan took hold of his hands and he got the hint, wrapping his arms around his lover's body. In the back of his mind he remembered the charm power lashing out and taking all control away from him. It surprised him that Logan wasn't erect yet and he allowed himself to grow hopeful. Maybe Logan was right and this wasn't just about lust. Mon Dieu, let it be 'bout love.

Logan nuzzled his lover's skin, lazily nibbling at one ear lob. His tongue trailed down to lick the sensitive spot near Remy's collarbone. Gambit squirmed in his arms, softly panting his name and Logan reacted by seeking out those lush lips and kissing them.

Remy sighed as Logan's tongue slid into his mouth. In a surge of passion, he suckled it hard, making the older man growl his want. "Sinister never kissed me," he admitted, brokenly.

"What did he do to ya?" Logan hated discussing this right now, but Remy had made the first step in addressing it. "Ya need to get this outta yer system, darlin'."

Remy wavered. Logan was right, but saying it made it more real. "Pin me down and… That's why I freaked when you sneaked up on me." It felt liberating to speak the words. "Mais wit' you it's different."

"Ya got that right," Logan replied, relieved. Making that admission had been hard on Remy, but it had been made without any emotional outburst, which Logan felt was a good sign. "Can I explore yer body? I'll be gentle," he promised as his fingers pushed back a wet lock from Remy's face.

"Mais oui, cher," Remy breathed the words, entrusting himself to Logan.

"Ya might not believe this," Logan started as his fingertips caressed his lover's smooth chest, rolling a nipple between his fingers. "I wanna taste ya…"

Remy swallowed hard. "You're sure about dat?" Merde! What a stupid thing to ask! Excitement coursed through his body, pooling in his groin. Mon Dieu, I'm growin' hard!

Wickedly, enjoying Remy's squirming, Logan licked his lips and leaned in closer so he could whisper into his lover's ear. "I wanna taste ya and make ya come… yer 'kay with that?"

Breathlessly, Remy nodded his head. The mere thought of Logan going down on him made his erection throb painfully. "You never stop to amaze me," Remy whispered, staring into Logan's eyes. "Mon Dieu, Logan. Je t'aime!"

Gently, Logan pushed Remy's back against the wall for support. "I never did this to a man, so let's hope I get it right."

"I'm de first…?" Remy stuttered, as Logan's words reached his foggy mind.

"Yeah," Logan laughed and sank to his knees, licking his lips. "Yer bigger than I thought."

Remy arched his back as one of Logan's hands squeezed his buttocks. "Mon Dieu, you're serious about dis!" Until now he had thought that Logan had been playing him, teasing him. Looking down at his lover, his heart missed a beat. Logan sat kneeled in front of him, giving him a wicked look.

Logan took hold of Remy's hands and placed them on his shoulders. Then he focused on the erection in front of him, which was already dripping with pre-ejaculate. Sniffing, he took in Gambit's scent and then licked the tip of his lover's erect shaft. Remy's moan assured him that he was doing something right and then took in the head of his lover's shaft.

"Logan," Remy whispered and leaned heavily against the wall for support. His right hand moved to tangle in Logan's hair and he bucked involuntarily as his lover's tongue teased the slit, sucking hard. "Cher…"

Logan grinned, sucking and licking playfully down the length of his lover's shaft. "Ya taste sweet," he managed to mumble in between licks and nibbling.

"Cher, what are you doin' to me?" Remy hissed as Logan's hand unexpected closed around his cock, firmly stroking it.

Logan took a moment to look at his lover's face. Mouth agape, eyes big and panting hard, Remy seemed to beg him for release. "Yer gonna come for me?"

"Oui, cher, oui…" He yelped as Logan's tongue lapped at his balls. "Please, cher… make me come."

"Wanna try somethin'."

Whispering incoherently, Remy wished Logan would grant him release, which he craved so badly!

After pushing Remy's legs a little further apart, Logan crept closer and separated his lover's buttocks.

A brief moment of fear overwhelmed Remy. "What are you…?"

"It's aright, darling," Logan soothed him and stroked the inflamed cock until Remy's protest changed to soft mews.

Remy jerked as something wet licked his cleft, demanding entry and unable to refuse, he moaned his consent. "Oui, cher…"

His tongue easily slid inside and he memorized Remy's scent. While his hands still stroked and fondled Remy's cock, his tongue explored the treasures hidden inside his lover's body.

"Assez!" Remy yelped, helplessly and couldn't keep back any longer. His body trembled and he came in Logan's hands. Bewildered, he looked down as Logan's lips returned to taste his come. "Cher…"

Logan lifted his eyes as his lover's orgasm hit him. "Fuck," he whispered awed, Remy's ecstasy washing through his mind. It drove him even further over the edge and determined, he swallowed his lover's come. Remy tried to pull back, but he didn't allow it and proceeded to lick him clean, milking the last drops of come from his lover's sated cock.

Remy dropped to his knees, unable to support himself any longer and claimed his lover's lips. "Never tasted myself on someone's lips," he mumbled passionately. "That was grande… seein' you go down on me, cher. Never expected dat."

Growling his agreement, Logan pulled his lover's trembling body closer to his. "Must admit I loved goin' down on ya…" Suddenly, Remy grew rigid in his arms. "What's wrong?"

"What do you want from me in return?" Remy muttered in sudden apprehension. This was unfamiliar territory for him. Sinister had always taken what he'd wanted, never giving pleasure in return. What was Logan's price?

"What I want in return?" Logan raised an eyebrow, upset to find that Remy still didn't understand what this was about. "A kiss," he replied eventually, deciding against chiding his lover.

"A kiss?" Remy repeated, stunned. "Mais cher…"

Brushing Remy's lips with his, Logan realized that they still had a long way ahead of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy still disliked the fact that they had to spend a large part of the day at the mansion. "Can' we stay here?" he asked Logan, who was walking next to him. He was trying hard to sulk, but the day was just too beautiful to brood. The sun was shining brightly and the rain had stopped pouring hours ago.

"Nope," Logan muttered absentmindedly, letting everything that had happened in the shower pass through his mind again. Honestly, he hadn't expected Remy to react that passionately, to trust him that quickly. Must be 'cause he senses my feelings. "I want to keep in shape and work out in the Danger Room."

"And what do I do?" Remy looked up and shielded his sensitive eyes from the blazing sunlight.

"I'm sure Hank will keep ya busy with his petty tests," Logan chuckled and sought out his lover's eyes. Remy appeared a lot more comfortable today. "I'm glad those chemicals left yer body."

"Moi aussi," Remy admitted. "Didn' like angstin' 'bout evert'in', cher."

As they reached the mansion Remy's eyes turned draped. "Still don' like bein' here."

"Ya'll get used to it 'gain," Logan assured him. "Can ya handle their feelings?"

"I t'ink so," Remy said, softly. "My shields are back to deir old strength. Should be able to keep dem out."

Remy's answer satisfied Logan and while uttering a soft growl, he gestured his lover to continue walking. "I'll be in the Danger Room if ya need me. Will see ya at dinner." He noticed the unease in Remy's eyes. "They ain't gonna eat ya, bub. I, on the other hand, might get hungry and start nibblin'."

Remy chuckled, knowing only too well that Logan had cracked that remark to make him laugh. It had been a long time since anyone had tried to make him laugh. Jean-Luc had tried hard when he'd been young, but as the years had passed by his father had expected him to grow more serious as well. He loved Logan's ability to lift his dark moods. "Merci," he whispered and shyly, kissed his lover's cheek.

Approvingly, Logan smiled. Remy was testing how far he could go, what kind of response a certain action provoked and so far it seemed like he had passed the Cajun's little tests. However, he knew a lot of tests would follow before Remy would feel completely safe in this relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feeling lost, Remy watched Logan's back as the Canadian disappeared into the elevator. Now what? Walk in to de livin' area and find out how dey're goin' to react? First want to know who's in dere…As he peeked around the corner, his first impression was that the living room was empty. Then, he realized he had been wrong. "Bobby?"

Bobby Drake sat in the windowsill, reading a book and enjoying the warm sunlight. The last person he expected to see was Gambit, but he welcomed the distraction. "Hi there." Scott had told them that Gambit would spend the afternoons at the mansion and he approved of that decision. They had mistreated Gambit and he was eager to make things up to the Cajun. "Where's Wolvie?"

Another chuckle rolled from Remy's lips. Maybe he would enjoy staying at the mansion after all. "Danger Room. He wants to keep in shape."

Bobby nodded his head. "Scott, our personal slave driver ordered a training session at 06.00 tomorrow morning! Hell, that's the middle of the night!" Closing the book, he slid away from the windowsill and took in the Cajun's appearance. Remy looked different today. The red eyes sparkled with mischief. It made Bobby feel confident enough to open up to Gambit. He'd wanted to talk to Remy since finding out that Logan and he were an item. "Can I ask you something… personal?"

Remy raised an eyebrow, seeing the blush on Bobby's face. Although he disliked prying on someone's emotions, he lowered his shields just a little. What he picked up from Bobby was loneliness and insecurity with a hint of curiosity. "Can' guarantee dat I'll answer, mon ami."

"That's only fair." Bobby was getting cold feed as his courage left him.

"Why don' we sit down first?" Remy dropped onto the sofa. Bobby sat down on the other end, keeping a fair distance between them. Why is he dis uncomfortable? I ain' de big bad wolf… I'm only datin' one!

"I don't know where to start," Bobby admitted and realized he should never have started this conversation. It was one thing to tell Logan that he liked men and Remy probably suspected it, but…

"What's it 'bout, Bobby? You can talk to me, homme."

"Hank told me that you're really good at drawing," he chickened out and avoided those burning red eyes.

Remy decided to cut Bobby some slack. "Oui, dat's true." Logan had been patient when he had gathered his courage and he could do the same for Bobby. But what was it Drake wanted to discuss?

"Jean and Scott's anniversary is coming up and I was wondering if you could draw them… as a couple, I mean… I…" Stuttering, he focused on his hands. He'd never been good at facing things head on.

"Mais oui, Bobby. No problem. I can do dat," He hoped Bobby would finally address the real issue. Would be easier if I were a telepat'! But Bobby's discomfort was all he was getting and he had no idea what was causing it.

Bobby drew in a deep breath, forcing himself to look into Remy's eyes. "Are Logan and you… happy?"

What kinda question is dat? Why was Bobby interested in their relationship? "Oui, we're happy…" he replied eventually, trying to decipher Bobby's hooded eyes. What was he missing here?

"Geeze, you don't have to answer this." Bobby started to stutter suddenly, stumbling over words and flushing crimson red. "But-t… how d-did you know that-t… you know… you l-loved him… he loved you… that it w- was…"

"Bobby, calm down." Remy suddenly realized what this could be about, but… "You wanna know if I feel comfortable bein' wid a man? Dat it?"

Embarrassed, Bobby nodded his head. "Is it that obvious?"

After carefully listening to Bobby's emotions, he managed to identify the source of Bobby's discomfort. It was of a sexual nature. Merde, he'd never realized that Bobby was confused about his sexual preference! "Dere ain' not'in' wrong wid lovin' a homme instead of a femme, Bobby."

"That's easy for you to say!" Bobby felt terribly relieved that Remy understood what he was talking about without him having to explain everything in detail. "Yes, I like men…" he admitted in a hoarse tone.

"So do I." Remy replied, slightly amused. "You know when it's 'bout amour, Bobby. Your heart will tell you, mais you have to listen to it." Amazed, he realized what he had just said. Logan's love was having quite an effect on him! Sliding a little closer, Remy whispered softly, "Havin' a crush on someone here at the mansion?"  Bobby's eyes widened in shock. "Not moi!" he added jokingly. Apparently, Bobby had already done a lot of thinking and was considering making his move, but lacked the courage to actually plunge into the deep. "You can tell me," he whispered, seductively. It was hard to tell why he felt concerned about Bobby. Maybe Drake reminded him a little of himself, the way he had been before Logan had annihilated his defenses. He didn't want Bobby to spend his life hiding from the truth. "Who's de mystery man?" Immediately, Bobby's blush grew even deeper. He's in love, Remy realized as the color of Bobby's emotions changed. It was a gentle love, giving and tender.

"I shouldn't tell you," Bobby protested, weakly. "I don't want anyone to know…"

"I can keep secrets, mon ami. I'm very good at dat…" Remy said, trying to convince Bobby to spill his secret. "Won' tell anyone, promesse… not even Logan."

Reluctantly, Bobby shifted on the couch. His eyes searched the doorway, making sure no one was eavesdropping. "You'll think I'm mad."

"Won' do dat," Remy assured him. Briefly, he felt the incredible urge to touch Bobby's mind and pour that reassurance in to his friend's mind. Control! Can' go 'round violatin' people's minds. Instead, he hesitantly rested his hand on Bobby's, fully expecting Drake to pull back.

But Bobby stared at that hand and smiled. "It's Hank."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Logan! What the hell are you doing?"  Scott muttered, as Wolverine used his claws to destroy one of the training bots. Something was troubling the Canadian. Better talk to him. I don't want him to turn feral over something.

"Get off my back, bub." Logan beheaded another robot.

From the control room, Scott accessed the training program and shut it down. "Get up here, now, Logan!"

Disappointed by the sudden lack of enemies, Logan glared at Scott. The man could be so damn irritating! He was just trying to get the anger out of his system! Better demolish the Danger Room than hurt one of his teammates! Left with no choice, he reluctantly walked over to the control room. How he hated that smug expression on Cyclops's face!

"Logan, what's wrong? Your mood has been particularly foul, even for your standards!" Scott tried to figure out what had set off the apparent blood lust in Wolverine's eyes.

"Stay outta it."

"Logan, you might hate my guts, but… I am your team leader."

You're getting better at this, darling, Jean cast into his mind and then retreated again, not wanting to infringe on Logan's right of privacy.

Scott shook his head, trying to get rid of the echo of Jean's voice. Why did she always pick these particular moments to irritate him? Focusing on Logan, he recognized the potential for violence in those eyes. "Logan, spill it!"

"It's Sinister!" Logan spat in a venomous tone. "I can't get the bastard outta my mind!" His fist slammed into the wall after he'd retracted his claws.

"Because of what he did to Gambit." Scott  knew from personal experience how few morals and ethics Sinister possessed. "Did Remy tell you more about…"

Logan cut him short. "C'mon, Cyke, we're smart enough to piece everythin' together. Like… I wanted to hug him…" Logan raised an eyebrow at Scott's amused expression. "Yeah, we hug!" he exclaimed and shook his head. "And he fuckin' freaked out on me! Sinister always snuck up on him from behind and… the look in his eyes scared me."

"Remy's still keeping everything bottled up. You should try and make him open up. Talking about it will make him feel… less alone."

Logan had started to calm down a little. "Sometimes ya actually make sense," he admitted reluctantly. "What are we gonna do 'bout Sinister?"

"The professor is working on that. Give him some time. I understand that Remy needs to face Sinister, but right now you need to focus on his recovery and not on extracting revenge."

"The bastard didn't rape yerlover!" Logan sneered. "Easy for ya to say!"

Scott shook his head. "This is hard on everyone, Logan."

Logan realized that maybe he was overreacting a little, but the mere thought of Sinister made his blood sing in his veins. He wanted to bury his claws in the bastard's chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Henri?" Remy repeated, a little stunned. "Didn' expect dat one… Cyke maybe… even Warren, mais Henri?" A soft chuckle fled his lips. "Henri should feel flattered!"

"You're making fun of me. Should have kept my big mouth shut!"

"Non, cher…" Remy's smile grew warmer. "You should tell Henri." What was it that Storm had told him when he'd just joined the X-Men? It had involved Bobby and Hank… something about… "Mebbe you can bribe him wid Twinkies?"

That conjured up a grin on Bobby's face. "Twinkies… how do you know about that?" Not giving the Cajun a chance to reply, he continued. "Hank doesn't even like men!"

"Uhm, Bobby… Logan reacted like dat… tellin' Jean dat he only liked the femmes…" Gently squeezing Bobby's hand, he examined the change in Bobby's feelings. Hope…The discomfort had changed into hope. "Tell him," he repeated his advice. Suddenly, he grew uncomfortable with the situation himself. Bobby was sitting close, holding his hand in return and his lowered shields were driving him towards Drake in an effort to comfort his teammate. Resolved, he raised his shields to their maximum strength and started to let go of Bobby's hand. The turmoil Drake had been in had almost lured him into a trance. "Need to go to de med lab… Are you comin' alon'?"

Bobby licked his lips. His mouth had gone awfully dry all of a sudden. It had been pure stupidity to tell the Cajun! Gambit would use this against him. Make him do things he wasn't ready for yet.

Remy got to his feet and pulled Bobby along with him. "C'mon, mon ami."

"Remy, I can't do this…"

"You can," Remy assured him and sensed the stark fear in Drake's mind. "I'll help you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hank shook his head in annoyance. Emma Frost and the professor should have cleared this with him first before making their decision. Now, he hardly had any time to prepare for Chamber's arrival. Apparently, Emma and Charles had felt it necessary to send the young man to the mansion, away from the Academy because Chamber was struggling with severe depression and was isolating himself from the other pupils. But why would Jono be better off here?

He couldn't really refuse their combined request. Yes, technically speaking he could, but if this young man needed his help, he couldn't deny the request. Well, he still had two more days before Chamber's unexpected arrival. That was sufficient time to prepare for the young man's stay.  He didn't know much about Chamber and needed to study the files, which Emma would send him via email.

Sometimes, he wished he could just focus on his research and forget about the rest. No, that wasn't true either. He liked helping his teammates, like Gambit who had finally found the courage to open up to them… A little, he thought displeased. Remy was still trying to deal with everything on his own and had to learn to accept their help and concern.

Checking the time, he wondered why Gambit was late for his appointment. He'd scheduled a few tests to ensure that the chemicals, which the cylinder had released, weren't causing any complications. About to pick up the phone to make a call to the boathouse, his hand halted in mid air. His ears picked up on nervous laughter. Directing his gaze to the doorway he realized that Bobby was accompanying Gambit. His first glance was for Remy, as he wanted to make sure that the young man was doing fine. The depressed, nearly suicidal state the Cajun had been in had worried him. It had been a tremendous relief to find out that alien substances had caused it. Removing the cylinder had only been minor surgery and had seemingly improved Gambit's mood. Bobby however, was a different matter. Drake's eyes were hooded, hiding secrets and that realization saddened him a little. They were best friends. Why would Bobby find it necessary to keep secrets from him? One possible answer popped up in his mind and he hoped he was wrong.

"Bonjour, Henri." Remy wondered how to handle this. Couldn't be too hard to find out if Hank was interested in men as well as women. Knowing the answer to that question would make things a lot easier on Bobby.

"Where's your shadow, Gambit?" Hank asked, in a playful mood. Once Chamber had arrived, he would have little to no time to talk to his friends.

Remy grinned broadly. Mon Dieu! It does feel good to be moi 'gain! But Hank was right. Logan had been his shadow these last few days, watching over him, tending to his needs. Logan had committed to their relationship without any hesitation. Had to be love… true love… After all dese years?

Bobby forced himself to smile at Hank, who had been his best friend for years. Lately though, he had been wondering if their friendship had changed in to something else. He wasn't even sure if it he had a crush on Hank. Wasn't sure about his feelings at all. But he had to do something to find out where they stood, even if it frightened him. Losing his best friend terrified him and it had been the one reason why he had kept quiet. Hank had never given him any reason to believe that he was attracted to men. Thinking back, he realized that as long as they had known each other, Hank had only dated women. Tish. Cecilia… he wondered if Hank still loved Cecilia. Although Hank had a habit of making him open up, McCoy hardly ever spoke about his feelings, his desires, and his needs. I'll die if his answer is no… will never be able to look at him again!

His empathic powers seeped through the shields and Remy acted quickly, asserting control again. Bobby was terribly confused and Hank's thoughts were occupied by something that worried McCoy greatly. Maybe he should postpone this and try later, once Hank was relaxed. But one look at Bobby told him that this had to be resolved now. "Henri, mon ami, always wanted to ask you somet'in.," Remy obeyed as Hank gestured him to sit down on the exam bed. A moment later Hank was measuring his blood pressure and his unease increased at the sight of a syringe. "What are you gonna do, homme?"

"I need a blood sample, Remy." Although he was talking to Gambit, his eyes remained focused on Bobby, who was now flushing a brilliant red.

"Make it quick, homme, don' like needles." Remy bit his lip and counted to ten.

Mildly amused, Hank smiled. "I know you hate being here. It must be hard on you to give me this much medical freedom… does that mean you trust me, my Cajun friend?"

Gambit's smirk reappeared. "Mebbe it does, homme."

"And you Robert… Do you require a physical as well?" Hank inquired, still wondering why Bobby's face was this flustered.

His blush intensified. Don't think about getting physical with him! Get your mind out of the gutter, Drake! Come to think of it, why was he still stalling? He should tell Hank the truth and let things take their course. Why was he still holding back? Because… I'm afraid of rejection and losing the best friend I ever had!

Luckily, Gambit shattered the awkward silence. "Always wondered, Henri," Remy started, trying to be as diplomatically as possible. "How do you feel 'bout Logan and moi bein' toget'er? Expected etrange looks, mais…" That should do it. Hopefully, Hank would be tempted to explain his view on gay relationships.

Hank considered the question. Gambit had asked him that for a reason. "I am happy for both of you," he said eventually.

Merde! Remy cursed privately, catching Bobby's growing despair at not getting the answer he craved. Have to push him harder! As Hank pulled the needle from beneath his skin, he sighed blissfully. "Ever dated an homme, Henri?"

Bobby nearly choked hearing that question. Gambit was going to ruin it all! But he still lacked the courage to step forward and steer the conversation into the direction he wanted.

Slowly, Hank raised one eyebrow. "You are asking most peculiar questions, Gambit."

"Jus' answer or are you chicken?" Remy wondered if he could use his emphatic powers on Hank to make him tell the truth. Non, not gonna try. Charm got me in to trouble… won' let dat happen 'gain!

Hank took a moment to ponder the situation. His eyes shifted from Remy to Bobby and back to Gambit. There was something going on here. "No, I haven't," he said eventually and got even with Remy by attaching electrodes to the Cajun's temples and brow.

"Ever considered giving it a try? Dating a man, I mean…" Bobby stuttered embarrassed, but realized that there was no way back now that Gambit had addressed the issue. "And by the way, Gambit, you look ridiculous right now!"

Remy barely refrained from sticking out his tongue. Doin' dis for you, Bobby! Widout me, you would never have asked him dat!

"No, Robert, I haven't." Hank realized that he had been right all along.  He knew what this was about.  "Gambit, you need to lie down now. Running this scan takes 15 minutes. Don't get up and try to relax."

Remy complied, after loudly protesting. "Scan, what scan? What do you need a scan for? I'm fine, never felt better, bien!" The clammy feel of electrodes on his skin made him feel ill at ease. He hated being examined.

"Robert, I want to talk to you… in private." Hank sighed. This wouldn't be easy. He should have seen this coming, but… Gesturing Bobby to follow him, he led his friend to the small office he had created at the back of the med lab.

I'm going to die… I wanna freeze up and get outta here… This is going to be bad, very bad! Bobby raved privately. Hank's knitted brow revealed worry and he seemed to mentally prepare for a very disappointing conversation. After quickly looking at Remy, Bobby realized that this was his moment of truth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy stared at the ceiling. The only audible sound in the med lab was his breathing and the silence started to suffocate him. If only Logan were here! Then it might be bearable. The med lab always reminded him of Sinister's laboratory.  And whenever he thought about Sinister, a wave of old, never healed pain swept through him, rocking him off his feet. Don' t'ink of him, don'!

"Logan, cher…" he whispered in sudden despair. Maybe… Focusing on his lover he tried to pick up on Logan's feelings. Oui, Logan felt close. Cher, I know you can' hear my t'oughts, mais please… I need you. He had been able to send Logan his emotions before, hopefully it still worked. Remy concentrated every ounce of emphatic energy he had on sending his lover his solitude and apprehension. There was no doubt in his mind that Logan would react to it… should Logan receive his dark and gloomy feelings. Logan, need you…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Logan?"

His head jerked back as something urgent and pleading slammed into his mind. It weren't thoughts, but… feelings. Remy!

"Logan!" Scott tried again. After their talk they had retreated to the kitchen to get some coffee, as he'd wanted to give Logan a chance to get everything that bugged him out of his system.  Hadn't worked though. Logan wasn't keen on discussing Remy's fears, something he actually admired. It told him that there was a lot of trust in their relationship, something both men desperately needed.

Quickly, Logan pushed the mug onto the counter. "Gotta go, Cyke." Why was Remy reaching out to him? What was upsetting his lover? Whatever it was, he was going to eliminate the cause of that discomfort and left for the med lab.

It's Remy, darling, Jean sent into Scott's mind.

Thought so, Scott replied as he nodded his head. I've got this feeling that they are good for each other…

I know they are, darling, Jean agreed and retreated from his mind.

"Isn't it ironic?" he whispered to no one in particular.  "I worried about him hitting on Jean for years and now… Life's full of surprises."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bobby fumbled the sleeve of his shirt, hesitant to look into Hank's understanding eyes. His sixth sense warned him that his friend had already seen through the disguise.

"Bobby, is there something you need to tell me?" Hank asked in a gentle and encouraging tone. No matter what the outcome of this conversation would be, he refused to lose their friendship over this.

"Guess you already know what this is about," Bobby stuttered and stared at his folded hands, resting in his lap. He simply couldn't say the words that could shatter their long years of friendship.

"Robert," Hank started and carefully gathered the young man's hands in his, "I will always be your friend, hopefully best friend."

Bobby realized that he had to come clean. He couldn't crawl back now and leave without telling Hank the truth. "Hank…" he stuttered and apprehensively raised his eyes to meet Hanks. "I'm in love with you." There, he had said it! His heart beat madly and he even felt dizzy. All ground seemed to disappear from beneath his feet, and he had so hoped that it would open and swallow him. Looking into Hank's eyes Bobby read the truth in them. He just hoped that he hadn't destroyed their friendship with his admission. He would find a way to deal with being rejected, but would never forgive himself for alienating Hank.

Soothingly, his fingers rubbed Bobby's. "I thought so," Hank admitted and caught Bobby's elusive eyes with his. "I am so sorry, Robert. I saw this coming, but… I wish I had a different answer for you."  Bobby tried to pull back his hands, but he didn't allow it.

"Just forget that I ever said it!" Bobby exclaimed upset. His worst nightmare was coming true. He had just bared his soul and his best friend didn't share these feelings. Moron! he chided himself. Deep down he had known the truth, but had refused to accept it.

"I still love Cecilia," Hank revealed in a warm tone. "But you, Robert, are my best friend and hopefully we will be best friends until the day one of us dies." Hank desperately searched for words that would take away Bobby's pain, which shone so clearly from those blue eyes. "Bobby," Hank tried to put all the affection and warmth he felt for his friend in that one word. "Lovers come and go, but best friends always stay together. I am flattered that you think of me in that way and… I can barely imagine what you're going through right now, but please don't let this ruin our friendship."

His mouth had gone completely dry. His eyes however, were swimming. "I've been fooling myself all along, Hank."

"Sometimes we want something so badly that we ignore the truth." Hank lovingly squeezed Bobby's hands. "One day you'll find someone special who will love you back. Give it time, Robert."

Sobbing softly, Bobby met Hank's eyes. "I just hoped that… but deep down I always knew that this wasn't about passion. Had to try though."

Hank smiled gently and enfolded Bobby in a tight hug. "Promise me that once you've found that special person you will tell me first?"

Slowly, Bobby nodded his head. "I will," he promised and rested his head against the soft fur. He might not have gained a lover, but he hadn't lost his best friend either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan dashed into the med lab, urged on by Remy's growing feelings of unease. "What's wrong, kid?" His eyes had already located his lover lying on the exam table, hooked up to a monitor. A large number of electrodes were attached to his brow and temples.

"Logan, cher…" Remy extended one hand and whished Logan would hurry.  "Need you close, Logan."

"Why?" Logan reached the exam table and gently took hold of his lover's raised hand. As far as he could tell, there was nothing here that could have set off Remy's panic. Bobby and Hank were talking in the office and Remy was alone in here. Alone, is that it?

"Don' want to be here," Remy whispered and drew in a deep breath. The sterile smell invaded his senses and made him nauseous.

Logan gave him a questioning glance and then removed the electrodes. Scott's right, should be concentratin' on helpin' him heal. Resolved, he banished all the anger he felt for Sinister out of his mind, only too well aware of the fact that it would affect Remy negatively. "Let's get outta here."

He wanted to object, but Logan was already pulling him to his feet. "Henri won' like dis, cher."

"That's Hank's problem," Logan said determinedly and handed Remy his shirt. As his eyes sought out Hank's, he saw that McCoy and Bobby were hugging. "Blue won't miss us." Quickly, he wrapped one arm around Remy's waist.

"Don' need de support," Remy whispered, slightly embarrassed.

"But I like touchin' ya," Logan teased and loved seeing a faint blush crawl across Remy's face. "Yer cute when ya blush." He couldn't help making the remark, knowing that it would make Remy laugh and release some of his tension. It worked.

Remy giggled softly. "Never t'ought you would ever say dat, cher." He had to admit that the arm slung around his body made him feel safe and protected. Sinister couldn't hurt him any longer.

"We're goin' to yer room," Logan decided and closed the door behind him. Hank would understand what had happened and not push the Cajun into returning before he was ready to do so out of his own accord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Bobby asked me to draw Jean and Cyke… as an anniversary cadeau."  Remy sighed softly as they entered his old room.

"Ya left the sketch book at the boathouse. Want me to get it for ya?" Logan sat Remy down on the bed. 16.00 hours. They would have dinner here and then return to the boathouse.

"Non, cher, can do dat later.  I want you close" Remy raised a hand to cup Logan's face in his palm. "You know what I want to do?" he whispered softly, not expecting Logan to go along with his plans.

"Tell me." Logan noticed the mischief in Remy's eyes and realized how much he had missed seeing it there. Leaning back into the pillows, his eyes scanned the four-poster bed. "Nice bed."

"Merci," Remy mumbled and slowly got onto all fours, crawling closer to his lover. "I want to sneak into bed wid you." Much too early for dat, he chided himself. Logan would probably want to return to the Danger Room now that he was feeling more at ease.

"Sounds aright to me," Logan muttered and opened his arms to crush the Cajun to his chest.

Hardly believing his luck, Remy straddled his lover's hips and leaned forward. Resting his head and upper body on Logan's chest, he managed to peek at the Canadian's eyes.  Logan's fingers slipped beneath his shirt and gently rubbed his back. This felt so incredibly right! He had been waiting for so long to experience this perfect moment in time. "Don' ever want to get out of bed 'gain."

Gently, Logan raised Remy's face and then brushed his lover's luscious lips. "Tell me when ya wanna stop," he instructed, realizing that ugly memories were lurking in the back of his lover's mind. He didn't want to unintentionally scare Remy like he had accidentally done in the kitchen when he had sneaked up on him from behind.

"I trust you, cher." Logan didn't scare him. But his lover was right. Sinister was still haunting him, overshadowing their happiness. Briefly, he sensed Logan's sheer hatred aimed at Sinister and cringed. There was so much barely contained rage inside his lover's mind that he started to tremble. "Cher, please don'…"

Hearing the pain filled voice, Logan realized what had happened. Scott had warned him not to concentrate on getting even with Sinister and immediately, he banned the bastard from his mind. Instead, he concentrated on his love for Remy. "Betta? I'm so sorry, kid, but whenever I think of the bastard I wanna rip him apart."

Remy regulated his breathing. Logan's rage had faded and warm feelings had appeared instead. ""Oui, betta."  Hesitantly, he cuddled up to his lover, lying sprawled all over Logan's body. Strong arms encircled his waist and Logan's lips claimed his again. In the back of his mind Logan's assurance echoed. Logan wouldn't do anything against his will. Knowing that made him want to try something new, take the next step. In the shower, he had allowed Logan to touch him, explore his body and he wondered if Logan would let him do the same. "Can I touch you aussi, cher?" he asked, softly. Seeing Logan's surprised expression, he felt he had to explain his request. "Sinister liked to be in control… wasn' allowed to do anyt'in' widout his permission…"

"Go ahead, darlin'… do whatever ya want." Logan  looked forward to Remy's exploration. Entranced, he watched as Remy sat upright, still straddling his hips. Remy leaned forward and supported himself with his hands. Red eyes focused on his, never drifting off. Kid probably needs to be reassured that I ain't Sinister.  Maintaining eye contact, he lifted his right hand and traced Gambit's lips.

Remy moaned softly, as Logan's fingers brushed against his lips and instinctively, he opened his mouth to suck those fingertips.

Logan growled, as Remy's tongue curled around his finger, lapping and suckling his fingertip. Then his lover's tongue slid down to his knuckles, licking the spots where his claws regularly tore apart his flesh. Remy's draped eyes made his blood boil and he desperately fought the urge to take this one step further and to make love to the Cajun right now. Too early! Too soon! We've got to do this slowly!

Remy sensed his lover's feelings and realized that Logan kept a tight reign on his lust. It meant the world to him. Logan wouldn't take advantage of him. As he released Logan's fingertips, he dived forward and kissed him hard, forcing Logan to part his teeth. His tongue met Logan's and he couldn't repress a blissful moan.

"Darlin'," Logan whispered, surprised at the apparent passion in Remy's eyes. Warm, yet alien emotions were caressing his mind and he knew it was Remy, using his empathy to share his feelings. "Darlin', yer so… beautiful." Sounds corny! he chided himself, but it was the truth. "How far do ya wanna go?" he asked, sensing the building desire in Remy's feelings. A concerned expression appeared in Remy's eyes and Logan nodded his head. "I understand, darlin'." Yes, he did. Remy wanted to take a first step into slowly deepening their intimacy.

"Want to make you come," Remy whispered as his nimble fingers tugged at Logan's trousers, unzipping them and stealing inside. He couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed as he found Logan rock hard.  But it also brought back memories he didn't want right now. Memories of Sinister getting aroused and seeing diabolical pleasure in those burning red eyes every time Sinister had thrown him on the floor or an exam table to force him.

"Darlin'? Remy?" Logan said concerned, as the Cajun's feelings changed from passionate to tormented. Fear lashed out into his mind and acting at once, he gently clutched Gambit's head in his hands. "Look at me, Remy. I ain't Sinister. We're in yer room and yer safe. Wanna stop?"

Hearing that offer was all he needed to shake off the memories. "Non, cher. Don' want to stop." Resolved, he curled his fingers around Logan's erection. "Je t'aime," he whispered determinedly and slid his free hand beneath Logan's shirt. A hesitant smile crossed his face as his fingertips found two hard and erect nipples. "Why are you lettin' me do dis?" he asked surprised. He had always assumed that Logan would never hand over control.

"Why not?" Logan involuntarily arched his back as Remy increased the speed and pressure, with which he was stroking his aching shaft. "I ain't no control freak," he managed to hiss before surrendering to the sensations Remy was sending into his mind.

Reassured, Remy rubbed his lower body against Logan's, savouring the hard feel of his lover's cock in his fingers. His awareness changed, as his mind floated closer to Logan's, sharing his lover's pleasure.  He was no longer just bringing Logan to orgasm, his own cock ached in sympathy. Somewhere down the line, Logan's aching erection became his and all he wanted was to reach orgasm.

Speechless. Logan stared at Remy's face. The eyes had closed, lips had opened and Gambit's ragged breathing echoed through the bedroom. Remy had completely surrendered to the sensations, was experiencing his ecstasy and that realization pushed him over the edge. The loss of self on Remy's face turned him on now that he understood that the Cajun was feeding off his pleasure to reach orgasm himself. "Remy," he whispered, but only got soft mews for an answer.

Unable to hold back any longer, Remy whipped himself into a frenzy of passionate lust. Logan's feelings had melted with his and as his lover climaxed, he shared the intense sensation. His eyes flashed open at the feel of hot semen dripping from his fingers. Briefly, he stared at the pulsing cock in his hand. Logan's feelings were as strong as his, had pushed them away and for one moment he felt incredibly lost.

"Remy," Logan whispered again, seeing the confusion in his lover's eyes. "It's aright, darlin'." He sat up, pulling Remy onto his lap, caressing his lover's face.

Slowly, Remy regained control over his senses, as Logan's feelings grew calmer. "Merde… what did I do?" His hand was still sticky with Logan's come and he raised it to examine its texture.

"That was quite a wild ride," Logan said gently and folded his arms around the trembling Cajun.  "Ya lost control in the end, didn't ya?"

"I lost myself in your feelings," Remy admitted in a shocked tone. "Logan, I didn'… do anyt'in' dat…?"

Tenderly, Logan's kissed his lover's lips, reading the rest of that question in his eyes. It pained him that Remy assumed that this had happened against his will. Yer afraid to hurt me like Sinister hurt ya. Makes sense in a weird way. All ya know is rape and bein' controlled. "Remy," he started passionately and concentrated on the love he felt for the younger man. "Thanks, I loved feelin' yer pleasure in return. Pleasure, which ya gave me, darlin'. I loved it."

"Are you sure?" Remy asked hesitantly. But Logan's emotions gently rolled over his and warmed his mind with promises of love and soft caresses that spoke of nothing but affection and desire.  "Never wanted to lose control, cher, mais… In de end, I forgot where I ended and your mind began."

"I hope ya liked it. I certainly did!" Logan said firmly. No way was he going to allow that memories of Sinister ruined this moment.

Remy smiled weakly. "I did, cher… mais I need to be more careful in future. Might hurt you."

Logan knew he had to say or do something that would take the focus away from Remy's fear. Wickedly, he licked his lips and said, "Looks like ya came too, darlin'." His fingers moved over the damp jeans and he unbuttoned them. "Ya should change yer clothes… I'm gonna take a quick shower." Logan pressed a possessive kiss on Remy's lips, briefly suckling his lower lip.

Remy moaned, but let go of his lover as Logan moved away from him. Licking his lips, he watched Logan's predatory stroll to the bathroom. "You got a mignon ass, cher," he teased, trying hard to get to terms with Logan's acceptance of this situation. He had to loosen up, throw his fear overboard and try to find out who he really was now that he no longer had to hide behind his walls.

"Ya got a cute little ass yerself!" Logan exclaimed in return and disappeared into the bathroom while whistling an old tune.

Remy rolled onto his back and stretched lazily. A smile curled his lips and contented, he closed his eyes, mentally reliving the ecstasy they had shared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Discouraged, Bobby slouched up the staircase. Hank had let him down gently, but it still hurt. Against all odds, he had hoped that Hank would return his feelings. But these things didn't happen in real life. "And I made a fool of myself!" he whispered embarrassed.

"Bobby!"

With an air of hopelessness Bobby turned around. "Scott, what do you want? Can't it wait?" He just wanted to hide and pretend he had never told Hank the truth. "I didn't miss training, did I?"

"No, you didn't." Scott noticed the saddened expression in Bobby's eyes, which usually sparkled. Something had upset Bobby and he wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to infringe on Bobby's privacy, but wondered if Drake would come to him if he needed to talk something through. At the very least he had to make that offer. "I just want you to know that I'm a good listener in case you need to talk, Bobby."

Bobby blinked his eyes. Damn, that sounded sincere! "Thanks, Scott.  I know you're trying to help but I just need time to sort out some personal stuff."

"In that case…" Scott tucked away the file he was carrying. "I'll find someone else to help me." Suddenly, he realized that Bobby looked haunted.

"I can help," Bobby sighed. It surprised him however that Scott wanted his help. Why not one of the others? What the hell was he good at anyway? Screwing up?

"Are you sure, Bobby?" Scott's thoughts raced. He had always suspected that Bobby suffered from low self esteem and that the younger man had some personal issues he didn't want to share with the team, but… "I would really appreciate your help. Don't know who else can do this for me."

Bobby smiled in spite of his gloomy feelings. Was Scott actually trying to lift his spirits? Thanks, Scott. Owe you one.  Nodding his head, he tried to radiate self-confidence. "Spill it, Slim."

"Here," Scott handed him the file and shook his head, hearing his old nick name. "Emma Frost asked us to take in one of her students for a while. I want Jono to feel at home here."

"Chamber?" Bobby asked, opening the file. "Why is he coming here?"

"Emma and the professor think that a change of scenery will do Jono some good. Kid's been depressed since he arrived at the Academy and Emma isn't making any progress."

"I'd be depressed as well if I had a hole in my chest and missed part of my face."

"It was the professor's idea," Scott continued. "He thinks that our experiences with Remy's mental instability enriched us and that we can handle Jono's depression as well."

"That makes sense," Bobby admitted. "What do you want me to do?"

"Emma put him on her corporate flight to make sure that he didn't wander off. I want you to pick him up at the airport. Jono can only communicate telepathically, try to make him feel welcome? Give him a tour once Hank checked on him."

"Why me?" Bobby asked as he closed the file. He would study it later in the privacy of his room.

"I know you can make him feel at home, feel welcome. That's why I picked you. Jono needs someone close to his own age to relate to."

"Okay, consider it done," Bobby sighed and looked at Scott. "Anything else?"

"No." Scott was relieved to see that some of the shadows in Bobby's eyes had lifted. "Are you sure everything's fine?"

"It will be," Bobby muttered and walked away, not believing the words he had just said. It would never be okay again. Hank would look at him differently and he had never felt this lonely before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bobby felt apprehensive about joining the others for dinner. Would Hank also be there? Usually McCoy stayed in the med lab, but an ominous feeling warned him that things might turn out differently this evening.

As he arrived at the dinning room he distinctly heard Hank's soft voice. Damn! Hank might feel uncomfortable talking to him now and he hesitated.

"C'mon, Bobby," Remy said and pulled the hesitant young man along with him. Bobby's feelings were much too strong to ignore and disappointment and unease echoed all through the corridor. "Let's eat."

Briefly, Bobby considered shaking off Remy's arm, but as he locked eyes with Gambit, he was taken aback by the way they sparkled. Before he knew it, Remy had manoeuvred him to the dining table, sitting down to his right.

Stealing a glance at Hank, Bobby fought his blush. Hank however, smiled and gave him a wink. Calm down, Drake. Calm down! Hank had made it pretty clear that they were still best friends.

Remy watched Bobby and recognized the sadness in the young man's eyes and feelings. "Sorry it didn' work out," he whispered into Bobby's ear.

Bobby grew a little pale, wishing Gambit wouldn't address this right now.

"Mais you're still friends, non?" He wasn't picking up any rejection on Hank's part, which probably meant that the two men had managed to sort everything out.

"Yeah," Bobby whispered in return. And now shut up!

Remy flinched, sensing Bobby's anger and forced himself to draw in deep breaths.

Noticing the way Remy was trying to keep in control of his feelings, Logan leaned forward and caught his lover's hand in his.

"I'm fine," Remy lied. Merde, he had to get out of his this room, away from Bobby, who was radiating anger and frustration. "Will be back in a sec. Stay, cher," he whispered and managed to send reassurance into Logan's mind. "I can deal wid dis."

Bobby raised an eyebrow as Remy fled the room. The expression on the Cajun's face had him guessing. Logan however, was definitely giving him dirty looks. While ignoring the rest of the team, Bobby leaned forward and asked. "What's gotten into Gambit?"

Logan bared his teeth. "Looks like yer brain cells are frozen dead, Drake." He knew it wasn't solely Bobby's fault that Remy was affected like this, but wished Drake would pay a little more attention to what was going on with Gambit. "He's an empath, bub. What do ya think sent him runnin' into the corridor?"

Anger, this time aimed at  himself, surfaced. "I did that to him?" Quickly, he exchanged a glance with Hank, who was still gently smiling at him. There was no loathing or condemnation in McCoy's eyes. He'd been angsting about nothing and had hurt Remy in the process. "Excuse me," he whispered and got to his feet.

Logan wanted to stop him, knowing that Remy needed privacy to straighten out his emotions, but Xavier's mind voice stopped him.

Give Bobby a chance to apologize, Charles sent into Logan's mind. He was sitting at the head of the table and hadn't interfered earlier. His X-Men had to learn how to deal with Remy's new ability and so far they were doing okay. It was one reason why he had decided to bring Jono here. His X-Men were going through some changes, finally listening to their feelings and Chamber could greatly benefit from that. Scott has learned a lot, Charles thought. Scott had reached out to several of his teammates and was finally turning into a compassionate leader. I don't need him to be perfect. I want him to care about the others.

Reluctantly, Logan remained seated and watched Bobby disappear into the corridor. Chuck is right. They need to figure out how to deal with Remy. Not being close to help out his lover however, made him feel uncomfortable. Smotherin' him with my concern won't work either. Remy can deal with this. He's right. But letting go was hard.

"Remy?" Bobby called out and forced himself to calm down. He caught sight of the Cajun at the end of the corridor and calmly, he walked up to him. "I'm sorry."

Remy sighed now that Bobby had his feelings under control again. They still seeped through his shields, but were bearable. "Non, no need to be sorry, mon ami." Turning around, he fortified his defenses before looking into Bobby's eyes. "You need to talk," he realized and gestured Bobby to follow him into the kitchen.

"We need to talk," Bobby corrected him and accepted the mug filled with coffee that Remy had poured him.

The Cajun also poured one for himself and then sipped slowly. It surprised him that Bobby had followed him here. "You can talk to me," he said calmly, remembering their earlier conversation about Hank.

"First, I want you to know that I'm sorry," Bobby said sincerely. "I'm still getting used to the idea that you're an empath. I forget that my feelings can affect you."

"Don' worry 'bout it, homme," Remy said, feeling slightly embarrassed. Not many people considered his needs. "My fault as well. Need to work on my shields."

Bobby smiled weakly. "You're not mad at me then?"

"Why would I?" Remy asked. surprised. Then he changed the subject of their conversation, hoping Bobby wouldn't keep it all buried inside. "You told Hank?"

"Yeah… he doesn't love me like that." Saddened, Bobby shrugged his shoulders. "Can't be that lucky."

Remy moistened his lips. "Bobby, one day you'll find someone who loves you."

"But I'm tired of waiting!" Seeing Remy's eyes grow big, he knew he was affecting the Cajun again and calmed down. "How many years do I have to wait before…" His voice broke and a sob escaped his lips. "Except for Hank, Logan and you no one here knows I'm gay. I don't know how to deal with this."

Bobby's fears washed over him and he patted Drake's hand. "Don' try to force amour."

"That's easy for you to say!" Bobby reacted fiercely. "You were always hanging out in town, being a ladies man and now you've got Logan!"

Remy swallowed hard. His eyes quickly scanned the doorway. No one else was near. Logan had honored his request not to come after him. Bobby's jealousy sliced through him. There was only one thing he could do; tell the truth. "I've been tellin' everyone lies."

"What?" Remy was suddenly avoiding his eyes and the elegant hands had started to tremble. Forgetting about his own problems he focused on Gambit. "What are you talking about?"

"Logan is mon premiere amant…. First lover," he explained, seeing Bobby's confused look.

"First male lover?" Bobby supplied, not understanding what Remy was trying to say.

"Non, first lover… Oui, I like de femmes, but never did de deed…" Bobby's large eyes stared at him in shock. "Tried hard to fool everyone."

"Why?" Bobby asked, surprised. "Hey, I've never had sex… with a girl or a man, but I'm not ashamed of that… why are you?" Remy lifted his eyes and shocked, he recognized the unshed tears in them. "What?" he whispered and instinctively squeezed Remy's hand to reassure the other man.

"I never said dat I didn' have sex… just never had a lover." It surprised him how hard it was to tell Bobby the truth. He'd started to connect to Drake, was even hoping that they could be close friends one day and now he was going to shatter the illusion he had built. Bobby wouldn't easily forgive him.

"Uh, Remy? You lost me. Are you saying that you slept around without having feelings for them?" Bobby shook his head the moment that question had left his lips. "No, you don't strike me as such a person."

"I didn' have a choice…" Why had he decided to confide in Bobby? Drake wouldn't understand what he had gone through.

Slowly, Remy's words began to make sense, but the conclusion he reached was hard to believe. "Remy, are you telling me that you were… raped?" No, that couldn't be right. Gambit was an X-Man and could defend himself!

"When I was younger, oui." Remy peeked at Bobby's eyes, expecting Drake to retreat from their conversation. But Bobby's hand squeezed his a little harder and finally he realized that Drake wasn't shying away from this.

"Remy," Bobby sighed. "Why didn't you tell us?" His head was reeling. "Who did this to you?"

"You don' want to know," Remy replied, ashamed. "I just wanted you to know dat sometimes you've got to wait for love to find you. You're handsome and you care 'bout people. You'll find a lover… believe me, mon ami." Suddenly regretting his admission, Remy tried walking away from Bobby, but the other man held his hand, keeping him from fleeing into the corridor.

"Who did this to you? And did you tell Logan?"

"Oui, Logan knows."

"Answer my question, Remy. Who did this to you? Was he punished? If not, the X-Men…"

"Merci, Bobby," Remy whispered. Bobby wasn't judging him, only offering protection. "Mais you can' punish him for what he did. Was my charm dat made him act like dat."

"I refuse to believe that," Bobby said, firmly. After Remy had let the professor into his mind, Charles had updated them on the situation, also explaining Gambit's charm power to them. "You lived here for years and I never got the urge to rape you. Someone took advantage of you!"

"Couldn' control de charm back den, Bobby Was my fault, not his."  Bobby took hold of his other hand as well and Remy desperately tried to shut out the compassion that was folding itself around his mind.

"Tell me," Bobby pushed on. Using the empathy against Remy, he concentrated on the friendship he felt for the Cajun. "Tell me his name. I know it's hard on you, but you've come this far… don't run away now." It had taken him some time to realize how hard this was on Gambit. Damn, he had never suspected that Remy was keeping such a secret!

"Sinister," Remy whispered eventually and tried to pull away from Bobby's grasp.

"Sinister?" Bobby couldn't believe it. "Sinister raped you? But I thought you were working for him and…"

"It's a lon' story, Bobby," Remy cringed. Not gonna to tell him everyt'in'. "Couldn' control de charm. Made him feel 'gain and he didn' wanna lemme go…"

"My God…" Bobby failed to imagine the horrors Remy had been through. I would have gone mad if Sinister had done that to me! Instead, Remy fooled us for how long…? "When did this happen?"

"'fore I joined de X-Men."

"And you never confided in anyone? Not even Hank or the professor?" Bobby shuddered. "I'm so sorry…"

Remy forced himself to smile. "No need to feel sorry, Bobby… Just wanted you to know dat I had to wait a lon' time 'fore findin' someone who loved me and… my secrets."

"I've been wallowing in self-pity. I'll just have to wait a little longer for love to find me." Studying Remy's ashamed eyes he finally reached a decision.  "Hey, Scott told me that Wolvie and you hug… could use one myself."

Remy smiled warmly. It meant a lot to him that Bobby hadn't turned him away. He'd seriously expected them to react differently. Had expected them to think of him as Sinister's whore. He had thought of himself in that way for a long time and even now that thought sometimes still crept up on him. But they didn't. They placed the blame on Sinister, something he still couldn't understand. "A hug…" he whispered and allowed Bobby to gently hug him.

"Remy, I'll make time to listen to you if you need to talk. That's what friends are for, right?" Bobby said awkwardly as he wrapped his arms around the Cajun. "Don't let Logan walk in on us!" 

"We're friends den?" 

"Oh yes!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You talked things out with Drake?" Logan closed the door and watched Remy collapse onto the sofa.

"Oui, mais he made me tell him 'bout Sinister… didn' want dat." Remy picked up the sketchbook and flipped the pages. Drawing would make him focus and take his mind off Sinister.

Logan slid out of his coat and sat down next to Remy, watching as the first lines appeared on the paper. "Wanna talk 'bout it?" At the same time he switched on the TV.

"Bobby actually felt protective of me," Remy whispered and moved into Logan's arms. Setting the sketchbook on his knees, he continued to draw Jean and Scott from memory. "I can' believe t'ings are workin' out like dis."

After finding the news channel Logan put down the remote and fingered one of his lover's silken locks. "What did ya expect?"

"Dat you would blame me for bein'…"

"Raped by Sinister?" Logan ended for him, nodding his head. "Yer the victim, Remy, not the aggressor. Sinister used ya."

"Don' you ever feel dirty touchin' me?" Questioningly, he looked into Logan's eyes. "Knowin' dat Sinister did dose t'ings to me? I still feel dirty."

"Nope," Logan answered slowly.  "I love touchin' ya. Makin' ya squirm. Ya need time, darlin'. A lot happened since we discovered the cylinder and…" Logan stopped talking and simply brushed his lover's lips. "I love ya."

Remy snuggled closer. "Can I show you somet'in'?"

"Sure." Logan watched Remy flip the pages again. Suddenly, Sinister's diabolical face was grinning back at him. He remained quiet.

"I drew it last night… he still scares me." Remy closed the sketchbook and melted into Logan's arms. "What if he comes for me 'gain?"

"I'll stop him," Logan promised. "And ya can fight him too. Ya ain't helpless."

" I can' stop him," Remy whispered. "He's much too stron'."

"Yer really scared that he'll be back for ya," Logan suddenly realized and pulled his lover closer.

"Oui, Sinister wanted to achieve somet'in' by implantin' dat cylinder in my brain." He'd been thinking about this for days, but couldn't find a plausible answer. "He don' want me dead…. I don' t'ink so. Could have killed me in Antarctica."

"I won' let the bastard get to ya ever 'gain," Logan promised and kissed him passionately. "Yer comfortable here or do ya want to move this to the bed?"

"I'm fine." Remy returned to drawing Jean. "Can we stay here a little longer? Wanna finish dis."

"Sure we can." He tucked Remy's head under his chin and held him close.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Not yet," Sinister instructed. "I want him to feel completely safe before moving in. I want him off balance when we finally get to him."

Sabretooth growled his displeasure. "But I get Logan."

Sinister grinned. "That's the deal we made. I get Gambit and you can kill Wolverine. Just don't damage the goods! I want Gambit unharmed!"

"When can I move in?" He'd taken great effort to stay down wind, making sure Logan wouldn't pick up his scent.

"In a few hours," Sinister decided. "Gambit is most vulnerable when asleep."

"Okay," Sabretooth hissed. "Your pet better stays clear of Logan when I kill him or he might end up hurt anyway."

"I'll take care of Gambit." Sinister sneered in return. "I'll tell you when to attack." Sinister grinned approvingly. Only a few more hours and the full-blown empath would be back in his lab! Finally… finally I'll feel his fear and panic again…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No, I don't want to leave my warm bed." Bobby whimpered as the phone disturbed his dreams. "I want to eat those Twinkies first!" But the phone continued to ring, not leaving him any other choice as to get up and answer it. "What?"

"Bobby?"

Immediately, he shook off his fatigue. "What's up, Scott?"

"Emma just informed me that Jono will be arriving earlier than planned. You need to get going now! His plane will touch down in an hour."

"Shit!" Bobby cursed. "It's three AM, Scott! Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'll make a deal with you," Scott said, slightly amused. "Do this for me and you don't have to attend training for two days."

"Hum… that doesn't sound too bad. Okay, I'll do it." Bobby put down the phone and slouched over to the window. "Great." Rain was pouring down from the skies and now and then thunder and lighting joined in. "I doubt that plane can land with this storm any way…"

After splashing some water onto his face, he combed his hair with his fingers and then slid into some jeans and a warm sweater. As he was putting on socks and boots, he realized that he'd only read half of Jono's file before going to bed. He grabbed his coat and the file and marched out of his room. "I'll read it at the airport." There was a fair chance that he would be stuck there for hours.

It only took him a few minutes to reach the garage and after throwing everything on the passenger's seat, he switched on the radio to keep him company. As he hit the road, he realized how bad the weather really was. He had to concentrate on keeping the car on the correct side of the road. Gusts of hard wind tried to change his direction.

"Why do I always get stuck with these jobs?" he mumbled irritated. "Gonna pick Jono up, deliver him at Hank's doorstep and then I'm back to bed!"  But things never were that easy…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan woke in the middle of the night because the hairs at the back of his neck were standing rigid. A thunderstorm was raging outside, but something else had set off his senses. Sniffing the air he picked up something, but wasn't sure what it was.  "Remy, wake up," he said determinedly and gently shook Gambit's shoulders. He hated waking up the younger man whose body had melted perfectly into his arms, but something was wrong.

Immediately, Remy's eyes flashed open. He'd always been a light sleeper. Living on the streets had changed him forever. "What is it, cher?" He didn't move yet, as Logan seemed to concentrate on sound and scent.

"Are ya sensin' somethin', someone?" Logan asked puzzled, as he sat upright in bed. After releasing Remy from the embrace, his claws appeared. "My nose's tellin' me that we've got company."

Remy fought down his initial fear. Only a few hours ago they had discussed his fear that Sinister might come for him. You're an X-Man! Start actin' like one! Remembering Logan's question, he closed his eyes and tried to hone in on the intruder. "Oui, you're right, cher. Someone's here… and he's angry…"

"Get those cards ready." Logan sneaked over to the doorway. "Stay here. I'll check on the intruder."

"Not stayin' here," Remy said resolved. "Not leavin' you 'lone."

"This ain't the right time to argue," Logan chided him.

"Then stop arguing and let me tag 'long." Remy was determined not to give in. No way would he stay here on his own. Logan's annoyance upset him a little. "You got to understand, cher… what if it's… Sinister?"

"Okay, but don't get in my way," Logan said, giving in and nodded his head. As he opened the door, a draft sent a strong scent into his nose, a scent that he immediately recognized. "Ain't Sinister… it's Sabretooth."

"Sabretooth?" Remy repeated softly. "Fought him 'fore." But the real question was, why was Sabretooth here in the first place? He did feel relieved though that it wasn't Sinister.

Logan's instincts had taken over. His claws were ready to draw blood and the adrenaline was pumping through his blood. He'd faced Sabretooth enough times to know he had to be careful. Once Sabretooth realized that Remy was his lover the bastard would try killing the Cajun just to get to him. "Be careful, kid."

Fanning his charged cards, Remy nodded his head. He felt apprehensive. It wasn't like Sabretooth to act this carelessly.  The next moment a mad scream echoed through their bedroom and he dropped to his knees, as Sabretooth's rage and sheer maliciousness slammed hard into his mind. His shields collapsed, leaving him helpless. Rocking his body, he tried to escape the rage and bloodlust that was Sabretooth, but it didn't work. The professor still had to teach him how to shut out such overpowering emotions.

"Fuck!" Logan exclaimed, as Remy went down. However, he didn't have the time to worry about his lover as Sabretooth leaped into the room, claws swinging at him. "What do ya want, Creed?" he hissed, as he delivered a blow to Sabretooth's chest.

"You…" Sabretooth allowed himself one moment to look at Gambit, who was trying to get back to his feet. It looked like Sinister had been right and he whipped his rage up to new heights… "Gonna kill you!" he screamed at his archenemy before attacking again.

Logan delivered a kick to the side of Creed's head and managed to duck when Sabretooth tried to retaliate. Smelling Creed's scent and his anger, set off his own. A part of him tried hanging onto sanity, another part was pushing him to go primal. He had to take out Creed to ensure his mate's safety. No one was going to hurt Gambit…

"Logan' don'…" Remy whispered, but knew the damage had already been done. Logan's eyes mirrored his berserker rage, as one claw buried itself in Sabretooth's leg.

Creed howled and struck back by delivering a crushing head but to the side of Logan's head. One more look at Gambit assured him that Sinister wouldn't have any problems in taking the Cajun down. Now he had to get Wolverine out of the room.

A growl, low and inhumane, vibrated through the room and Logan lost the last fragile hold he had on reality. His animalistic side took over and as Sabretooth jumped at him, they both went flying through the window.

"Logan, don'… Creed ain' 'lone," he whispered, folding his arms around his waist, hugging himself. The transformation he had witnessed in Logan's mind didn't scare him. He suspected that if he could get close enough to his lover, he could help Logan regain control, but… Something cold and unfeeling approached. A presence he feared and instinctively, he tried to shut it out. But Sabretooth and Wolverine's unbridled fury had shattered his shields and he was wide open. Panicking, he tried to reach out to Logan, but all he sensed was insane bloodlust. Rocking on his knees he closed his eyes, pretending Sinister wasn't here, wasn't moving in on him. His deck of cards lay useless on the floor. In his panic, he forgot that he wasn't helpless. Sinister's presence made it impossible for him to think rationally and his old fear resurfaced. "Non," he whispered shocked. "Non, don'…"

Sinister stepped into the room and nodded his head. "Yes, I'm taking you with me." Predatorily, he approached the shivering young man. Remy's eyes flashed his horror and as the sensation hit him, he revelled in it. This was what he needed. He'd  recognized Gambit's potential from the beginning and this time he would guard it, making sure the young mutant couldn't escape ever again

"Non," Remy whispered and flinched violently as a hand brushed his face. The sheer evil that Sinister radiated immobilized him. He had so hoped that Sinister would leave him alone. Had hoped that this particular chapter of his life had been closed and done with. How wrong had he been! "Don' touch me, please…"

"You've forgotten the rules," Sinister remarked. "Get to your feet."

Remy obeyed, slowly pushing himself up from the floor. The closer he got to Sinister, the more nauseous he felt. He'd never realized just how evil the scientist was. De rules, he thought and cringed, remembering them only too well.

"You won't raise your shields ever again, do you understand?" Sinister said in a firm tone. This was just the beginning. There were so many things he wanted to try now that he had reclaimed Gambit. Nodding his head, he continued. "Good, you're not allowed to speak, only when I address you explicitly."

Logan, please cher… He'd almost automatically lapsed back into his former behaviour to make sure he didn't displease Sinister. The madman knew many ways to punish him.

"I still terrify you," Sinister said slowly, as if pondering something. "This will do for now, but I expect more from you in time."

Remy stared at the floor, not raising his eyes. Sinister would interpret that as disobedience and his survival instincts were pushing him to take care of himself as best as he could. A terrible sense of deja vu came over him. He had been here before, Sinister controlling every breath he took, every word he said. It had almost killed him. Acting without thinking, he tried to raise his defenses, as Sinister's vileness invaded his mind. Sinister was feeding off his fear, adding it to his strength. He'd almost succeeded in locking Sinister out when his nemesis fiercely backhanded him. Whimpering softly, he leaned against the wall for support.

"I told you to keep those barriers down! You won't disobey me!"

Remy bit his lip, forcing himself not to speak up. That would only aggravate his situation. Slowly, he raised a hand and wiped away the blood that dripped from his lip. Sinister's fury made him sway on his feet and he tried hard to distance himself from it without raising his walls. Logan, je suis désolé.  Je t'aime, cher…

"Your life here has come to an end, Gambit. I'll punish you for betraying me. How could you consort with a low life like Wolverine?"

Jealous? Sinister's jealous? The empathy worked both ways. Sinister fed off his fear, but at the same time he gained an insight in the scientist's mind. A sparkle of resistance flamed inside his mind and he hoped Sinister hadn't noticed it. If only Logan survived his fight with Sabretooth! Then he would have a reason to hang in there and try to escape from Sinister's grasp.

"Don't count on it, my pet. Sabretooth will kill your lover. You don't think that I'll allow Wolverine to live?" Sinister placed a hand on Gambit's shoulder and raised his chin so the young mutant had to look into his eyes.

Keeping his stare downcast he refused to look at Sinister.  He'd survived this once, he would survive again, but at what price? His mental scars hadn't healed from the last time Sinister had hurt him.

"Your empathy is stronger than I suspected. The mix of chemicals worked perfectly." Sinister softly caressed Remy's face, enjoying the sensation of actually feeling the touch. "I knew that turning you into an empath would increase my pleasure. I'm going to enjoy you, my pet."

Remy trembled violently as Sinister's cold lips brushed his. The nightmare was happening all over again!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sabretooth enjoyed playing with Logan. The berserker rage made Wolverine dangerous, but also lured him into careless actions. He hated the fact that he needed Prism's help to end Wolverine's life, but he wanted to take out Logan for once and forever. He led Wolverine into a cave and while fighting off his eternal enemy he screamed, "Now!"

A sharp light crushed his eyes, but as Logan quickly closed them the damage had already been done. The light had blinded him and he swung his claws in the direction he suspected Sabretooth was hiding. His feral side was guiding his actions, now that the rational side of his personality had been pushed aside.

Sabretooth slammed into his enemy, pinned him to the ground and growled triumphantly, as Prism slapped the Genoshan collar around Wolverine's neck. "Gotcha!" he exclaimed. Now that he'd neutralized Logan's healing factor, he started to work on the man's body, burying his claws into warm flesh. Sabretooth growled his pleasure, tasting Wolverine's hot blood that dripped from his claws. "I wanted to rip you apart…" he started and jumped to his feet. "But dying of adamantium poisoning is more painful."

Wolverine tried getting back to his feet, but his body was bruised, his eyes still blinded and his head throbbed painfully. Dulled by the pain, he managed to register his apparent defeat.

"Told you I would kill you," Sabretooth hissed pleased. "Sinister was useful after all."

That name set off a subconscious reaction in his brain. Sinister… Remy… damn! I went feral! Logan, once more in control of his senses, stared in obvious disgust at Creed. "Damn ya to hell!"

Creed laughed loudly. "I'll meet you there!" He viciously kicked Wolverine, eventually concentrating his attack on Logan's head.

Logan's last thought before losing consciousness was, Remy, I failed ya.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A two hour delay!" Bobby whimpered and shook his head. "Better find myself a nice warm place to wait." After sighing deeply, he headed for the small restaurant that was open twenty-four hours a day. He selected a place in the back and made himself comfortable. He had an excellent view of the monitor that kept track of all arrival times.

"What's it going to be, handsome?"

Bobby looked up at the waitress and smiled. She was of his own age, had long red hair and freckles all over her face. It was the one thing he was truly thankful for, his ability to pass for normal. Had to be a lot tougher on Hank or Kurt whose appearance always immediately revealed the truth. "Hot chocolate and pie?"

She nodded her head, wrote it down in her little book and briefly left him.

Bobby opened the file and started reading. # Age- 18. Place of birth- United Kingdom. Marital status- Single. Base of operations- Massachusetts Academy, Massachusetts. Height- 5'9". Weight- 140 lbs. Eyes- Brown  Hair- Reddish-brown. Powers- Chamber is a mutant who is naturally composed of pure psionic energy. With the injuries he suffered when his powers manifested, Chamber has no need to eat, drink, or breathe. It has been theorized that his body is merely an unliving shell to contain his psionic energy, since his body currently lacks major organs, such as heart and lungs. Chamber is able to project large blasts of psionic energy from the area where his torso existed, and is also capable of telepathic speech. His telepathic speech is his only way of communication, since his initial blast destroyed his mouth, voice box, and lungs. #

Bobby released a deep sigh. Geeze, Jono had to deal with a lot of stuff, which couldn't be easy. It didn't surprise him that Chamber was depressed.

The waitress placed his order on the table and gave him a dazzling smile.  Sorry, darling, but that doesn't work on me… He gave her a nice tip and waited for her to leave him alone again. The moment she turned her back, he continued reading again.

# Personal notes. When his mutant ability manifested itself in a large blast of psionic energy, Jono blew a hole in his body that stretches from his mouth to his chest, and cost his then girlfriend, Lady Gayle Edgarton, the use of her legs. Needless to say that this event greatly affected Jono. Main reason for sending Jono to see the professor and Hank is that he suffered a setback when Husk tried to kiss him, which set off Jono's panic. His power activated and he destroyed the Girls Dormitory.  Right after this incident, Paige decided that she couldn't deal with Jono's problems any longer and has started to distance herself from Chamber, which spiralled Jono even deeper into a state of depression and repressed anger. Jono needs to refocus and a change of scenery and proper guidance might help him deal with all recent events. Sean Cassidy. #

Bobby closed the fill and sipped from his hot chocolate. And Scott wants me to look after Jono? To make him feel at home? Doesn't sound to me like this will be a fun ride home!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jono wished he had never left the Academy. The storm was causing major problems and he tightly clung to his seat. At times like these he did feel a little grateful that he no longer possessed a stomach. Can't get bloody nauseous.

As he stared out of the window, the light of the airport glowed dimly through the gale. He still cursed Sean for sending him to Westchester. Never wanted to leave the academy… or Paige. Although she had avoided him since their kiss, he still hoped that she would give him another chance. Time, he needed time to get his powers under control. But there was more to it than just controlling his powers. Missing part of his face and chest made him feel like a monster and kept him from socializing the way he had before that first blast had maimed him. He avoided people, disliking the fact that he had to pass for a burn victim and write everything down when he wanted to say something. Using telepathy wasn't an option in such a case.

I wonder if anyone will be there to pick me up. Had Emma had enough time to warn the X-Men that he would be arriving early? The X-Men. He'd heard a lot about them at the Academy and occasionally, they even acted as guest instructors, but he didn't really know them personally.

Jono felt a little nervous. How would they react, seeing him for the first time?  Did they even want him at the mansion? Would they pity him? Maybe they would send him straight back to the Academy after they'd gotten a taste of his black humor.

The captain's voice, which sounded a little edgy, echoed through the plane and informed the passengers to prepare for take down. Am the only passenger here… Emma had declined his request to travel by train or bus. Instead, she had seen him off at the airport, instructing the pilot and the crew to keep an eye on him and to make sure that he didn't wander off. He appreciated Emma and Sean's concern, but it wasn't necessary. I can take care of meself.

You can't, his conscience objected.

Inwardly, he sighed. I'm not going to discuss this with meself!

The plane touched ground and a little relieved, he leant back in the chair. He didn't envy the pilot who had to land the plane in the midst of this bloody storm. I'd better get going. Hopefully, someone had arranged transportation to the mansion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bobby was waiting in the arrival area, keeping a sharp look out for Chamber. It can't be hard to find a guy who partly misses his face! The huge crowd of people was making him nervous. His eyes scanned the arriving group of people and he sighed slightly as he recognized the young man from the picture that had been attached to the file.

As he fought himself a way through the crowd, he studied Chamber. His draped brown eyes were hiding something all right and he was eager to find out what it was. The file had mentioned severe depression and a negative self-image, originating from the injury that first blast had caused to his face and chest. "Jonathan Starsmore?"

Jono turned around. He hadn't noticed the young man who had walked up to him. A group of tourists had blocked his vision. Instinctively, he reached for pen and paper.

"Hello, Jono," Bobby said and smiled reassuringly. He gestured Chamber to follow him towards the exit. "I'm Bobby Drake. I'll be your chauffeur for today."

The name rang a bell. Uncertain, he looked at the pen in his hand. Would Drake be offended if he used telepathy to communicate?

Bobby nodded his head. " The professor and Jean always mess with my thoughts anyway. I can deal with one more telepath. Put the pen and paper away." He was trying hard to fight down his initial shock at seeing the bandaged face. The black bandages covered the lower half of Jono's face, creating the illusion of a chin and mouth beneath it.

Yer sure? Before his powers had manifested he hadn't been this hesitant and cautious. Now, he wanted to make sure that people felt comfortable when hearing his voice in their minds.

Bobby smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure, Jono." He took a moment to ponder the sensation of hearing Jono's mind voice. "You sound different though."

Jono looked at him questioningly. In what way? From the corner of his eye, he continued to study Drake. The Iceman was younger than he had expected. Bobby was in his early twenties and they didn't differ that much in age. Blue eyes revealed mischief and Bobby's grin only added to that impression. In a certain way, Bobby reminded him of Angelo.

Bobby shrugged his shoulders. "Soft…" It's probably one of the most sensual mind voices I ever had in my head.

Still in a sulking mood, Jono followed Bobby to the car park. So yer got stuck with picking me up?

"Not really." Bobby observed the younger man. Jono had asked that question for a reason and he wasn't taking the bait. The dark and broody expression in those brown eyes reminded him of Jono's depressed state. "So, how long are you going to stay at the mansion?"

Why? Want to get rid of me already? Frustrated, Jono dropped onto the passenger's seat.

Bobby gritted his teeth. "This is going to be a fun ride!" he sighed. "Why not cut the pleasantries and tell me to sod off, bugger off or… eh Jono?" A soft chuckle drifted into his mind. "What?"

Jono's eyes sparkled. Do you also know what that means, to sod off?

"Blimey!" Bobby exclaimed in mock aggravation. "Of course I do!"  Peeking at Jono, he felt a little reassured. It was hard to tell if Jono was loosening up, but the tension seemed to slip away from those shoulders and the mental chuckle remained. "What kinda bloke do you think I am? Of course I know what I'm saying… By the way, what am I saying?"

Mate, where did you pick that up? Jono sat back and allowed himself to relax a little now that Drake was joking around.

"I had to wait for two hours…" Bobby started, thought about it and added, "Two bloody hours in the restaurant. The waitress, a charming girl called Sally, turned out to be from London…"

Inwardly, Jono smiled. Maybe I can teach yer more slang!

Bobby grinned broadly. "Why do I suddenly see us driving Scott and the professor mad by talking slang? Would be kinda cool if they had no idea what we were talking about…" As he glanced at Jono, he realized that the telepathic chuckle had grown stronger. Pleased, Bobby nodded his head, determined not to give into Jono's behavior. Chamber wouldn't succeed in shutting him out or alienating him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan's eyes flashed open as lighting split the sky apart. The thunderstorm was moving away, taking the heavy rain and gales with it. Lying flat on his stomach he tried to move. The collar sat tightly around his neck and he would have tried using his claws to rip it off, but Sabretooth had shackled him before he'd left. His hands were tied behind his back and he couldn't reach the collar.

Slowly, the adamantium was poisoning his body. He had to find a way to get the collar off and then he had to return to the mansion. After Sabretooth had left, he had realized his stupidity. He should have stayed at Remy's side. Instead, he had allowed his rage to take over. Going primal, he'd forgotten that his lover was in danger.

Remy was the target all 'long. He tugged at his shackles. Briefly, he wondered if it were the ones Eric the Red had used in Antarctica. The metal felt peculiar, like nothing he had ever touched before. It seemed to weaken him even further.

Remy. The name sent a stabbing pain through his heart. He had to be realistic and assume that Sinister had succeeded in capturing his lover after Sabretooth had lured him away from the boathouse. I did fail ya. Should have known that there was a reason why ya were that frightened of Sinister comin' back for ya. Should have moved ya back to the mansion. Ya would have been a lot safer there. Stop this!  "I have to stop thinkin' like that and get back to my feet instead."

Resolved, his hands clawed into the dirt and with tremendous effort he managed to push himself up, using the cave wall as support. "Gotta get movin'," he whispered, but a terrible fire spread through his body, emanating from his skeleton. Without his healing factor he would eventually die. And the chains… there's somethin' wrong with them too.

Taking this step-by-step, he struggled outside. Thankfully, the rain had stopped, but… the ground had turned into mud, sucking his feet in deeper. "I need to get to Remy." Remy, Remy… He repeated the name over and over again, until it had turned into a magical chant that supplied him with the energy he needed to reach the subject of his thoughts. "I'm comin', kid. Han' in there!" he whispered, all the while fighting his fear of being too late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Geeze!" Bobby yelped, as a rod of lighting almost struck their car. The thunderstorm was moving away from them, but still had a nasty backlash.

That's bloody hell, mate, Jono corrected him, trying to mask his own unease by playing along. Earlier, a few lightning bolts had come to close to the plane and now that he was stuck in a car, he didn't feel that much safer.

"Hey, I thought you were supposed to be depressed and throwing tantrums!" Ever since Jono had gotten into the car, Bobby had decided on the direct approach. Hank would probably lecture him later, but hey, it was working… at least he hoped so!

I don't do tantrums! Jono protested fiercely, then realized that Bobby's grin had become a fat smirk. Yer a bloody wanker!

"Now, don't start insulting me… at least I think you just insulted me… wanker… That calls for retribution!" Slowly, he started to lower the temperature in the car.  Eyeing Jono, he wondered if the cold would affect him. In many ways, Chamber's powers were still a mystery.

Getting cold in here… eh Bobby? Jono couldn't repress a shiver. Are yer doing that?

"Yeah, I am the Iceman!" he exclaimed in a booming voice and considered hitting Chamber with a snowball to peg him down to size. "And it will get much colder if you don't start behaving… now apologize for calling me a wanker…"

Do yer always pester people to get what yer want? Jono was mentally debating the issue. He definitely wasn't going to apologize!  But…  Suddenly, he realized that he was enjoying this verbal bantering.

Bobby nodded his head. "Or freeze the water in the shower… works every time."

So, how's life at the mansion? I've never been there before. Jono wanted to be prepared when meeting the others.

"Well, we're in the middle of a little crisis, but…" Bobby remembered Remy's confession about Sinister and decided to make a quick stop at the boathouse, just to make sure that they were all right. Just don't let me catch them doing the wild thing! As he informed Jono of the small change in plans, he wondered if Chamber would fit in wit the others. Yeah, he will, he realized and smiled. A smile that was wiped away from his face as something heavy slammed onto the hood of the car. "What?"

Chamber reacted instinctively and braced himself, as Bobby hit the brakes. Wild animal?

"I don't think so." Alert, Bobby stopped the car and slowly opened the door. After a quick look at the window he realized that it was stained with blood. "Whatever it was, it's hurt."

Jono got out of the car as well and one hand moved to his bandages. In case of an attack he would use his mutant powers to defend himself. Please don't let me start a fire or lose control.

Briefly, Bobby shivered. It was so unlike him to take the lead in such a situation. Usually it was Scott or Storm  who told him what to do. Now, he had to protect Jono. I doubt that he has much battle experience yet… and certainly not against the likes we usually deal with!

Jono followed Bobby as Drake moved to the bushes next to the road. A trail of blood led them closer and he wished that he were back at the Academy… not standing here in the middle of the night.

"Stay close." Bobby iced up. He couldn't take the risk of getting hurt while he was responsible for Jono's safety. A growl, dangerously low, echoed from the bushes. A growl he only knew too well. "Damn, Logan! What are you doing out here?"

Bobby disappeared into the bushes and Jono remained at a safe distance to cover Bobby's back, should that be necessary. To be honest, he didn't feel comfortable accompanying Drake. Drake's an X-Man. Bloke knows what he's doing…I hope...

"Logan, you look like shit!" Bobby exclaimed upset. After looking into clear eyes, he changed back to his human shape. "You're not feral, are you, Logan?" Wolverine could rip him apart when he lost control.

"Not any… more, Drake…" Logan whispered exhausted. "Get this… off," he muttered in pain.

Bobby sat on his heels and blinked his eyes, recognizing the Genoshan collar. "What happened?" First, he concentrated on pulling Logan back onto his feet. "Jono! I need your help!" After taking another look at the collar he shook his head. "I'm not sure I can get that off, Logan, but I know Hank can."

"Freeze it… off!" Logan demanded. All he could think about was Remy. "Boathouse… Remy…. Sabretooth…. Sinister!" he whispered angered. I'm too late…

Hesitantly, Jono ventured closer. Bobby?

"We need to get him into the car! Help me!" Bobby gestured Jono to support Logan's other side and started to drag his teammate to the car. Logan's words had made his heart miss a beat. "Are you telling me that Sinister…"

"Wants Remy…" Logan mumbled. He was on the brink of losing consciousness, but continued to fight it.

"We need to get you to the mansion…" Bobby looked about, mentally debating the matter. "Jono, can you drive to the mansion?" He pointed at the lights that revealed the mansion's location.

I think so, Jono replied and almost collapsed under Logan's weight as Bobby unexpectedly released Wolverine.

"Take him to the mansion. I'm going to the boathouse to check on Gambit. Get going!" he yelled at Jono and changed into ice again.

Jono managed to push Logan onto the back seat. Don't fight me! Logan struggled to get back to his feet.

"Stay outta my head!" Logan snarled back and tried to hit the stranger.

Bobby realized that Logan would continue to cause trouble and acted. "I'm sorry, Wolvie," he whispered and his icy fist connected with Logan's chin. "Now get moving!"

Jono nodded his head and climbed behind the wheel. The last thing he'd expected when coming to Westchester was to get caught in one of the X-Men's notorious battles. After making sure that Wolverine was really out cold, he watched Bobby take off, using one of his ice slides. Then, he started the car to take the unconscious X-Man to the mansion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sinister cocked his head to study his prisoner's downcast eyes, which were hard to read. Gambit's shoulders slumped forward and his usual elegance was gone. The Cajun was trying hard to mirror complete submission, but it didn't fool him. Gambit's feelings spoke of resistance and hope that the X-Men would come for him and get him out. Still not broken, Sinister thought, uncertain whether that pleased or annoyed him. Years ago, Remy LeBeau had been a delightful challenge… he still was. This time he would move subtler though. Pure force and intimidation had gotten him nowhere the first time he'd used the Cajun's body to find pleasure and release.

Something was wrong. An ominous feeling nagged at his mind. Something had changed since Antarctica. Even unconscious, Gambit had radiated lust. LeBeau's charm power had been strong back then and he had barely contained the urge to take LeBeau, who had been sedated and unconscious. But now… the lust was gone. Instead, Gambit's pain, shame and hurt clawed at his mind. It was a most unsettling feeling, one he had never expected to experience again. I'll find a way to deal with this.

Remy shivered violently. Sinister was a few steps behind him and he couldn't see the madman's face. The sensations he received ranged from sheer anger to curiosity. Staring at the floor, he realized he knew this place. It was Sinister's old base of operations, the same place where the scientist had kept him prisoner before. For years, he'd fooled himself into an awareness of safety, constantly telling himself that Sinister was through with him. That he could finally live his life and start to heal. He'd been so wrong!

"Keep walking, my pet," Sinister whispered and rested his left hand at the small of Remy's back, slowly nudging him forward. This precious little gem was his!

Remy shuddered at the touch and tried jerking away, but stopped himself just in time. He didn't want to anger Sinister unnecessary. Have to hold on and hope dat Logan survived de attack… warned de oders! Sinister's fingers rubbed his back through the fabric of his T-shirt and nausea wretched his stomach. The touch brought back memories he'd buried deeply inside his mind.

Sinister opened a door and gestured Gambit to step inside. "Take a bath and change into your old clothes."

Remy cringed, as he recognized the old bedroom where Sinister had kept him locked up. Vertigo hit him and he leaned heavily against the doorway. He didn't want to go inside and carry out Sinister's orders, but defying the man would only worsen his situation. Actually, it surprised him that Sinister was showing this much restraint. He had expected to be pinned down by nown and… Non! Don' wanna remember...

Feeling uncomfortable, Sinister took a step away from his prisoner and was almost inclined to command Gambit to raise his shields. The Cajun radiated a terrible amount of pain and fear. Damn! He'd forgotten how it felt to be terrified! It was slowly driving him in to the corridor, further away from LeBeau. Why am I not feeling that insane lust that devoured me the last time I had him?

Slowly, Remy shuffled inside. The room hadn't changed. His velvet robe was on the bed and he flinched remembering everything that had happened to him in here. These four walls had kept him prisoner for months!

"Go into the bathroom and undress." Sinister studied LeBeau closely. Something was wrong. Somewhere down the line he had made a mistake. As he followed Gambit into the bathroom, he mentally retraced his steps. The charm had still been there in Antarctica. An unsettling thought slipped into his mind. The chemicals… they triggered his empathy… can it be that the charm evolved into empathy? He didn't like this particular conclusion. It meant that the charm had transformed into empathy, instead of only triggering it. He'd expected that the charm and the empathy would both be there once he got Gambit back.

Remy stood in the middle of the bathroom and looked at the tub. Sinister was watching him from the doorway, waiting for him to take off his clothes, but he felt paralyzed. He couldn't do this! Once he was naked he was even more vulnerable and helpless. At least now his pajama bottoms and shirt offered a last defense.

Angry with himself, Sinister remained indecisive in the doorway. I'm an idiot! I should have experimented on her before implanting the cylinder! Sinister considered the Cajun and reached a decision. "Take off your clothes."

"Non," Remy whispered barely audible. He wouldn't give in without a fight. He rather had Sinister beat the hell out of him, then surrendering to rape again. This time he would fight… fight for Logan. Fight for their love. Please be 'live, cher…

Sinister hissed. "Don't defy me, young one."

"I don' care." Remy slowly turned around to face his personal demon. "I rader die dan give myself to you 'gain." It was the biggest mistake he ever made. Quickly, Sinister covered the distance between them and grabbed his shoulders, pinning him to the wall.

"I'll take you whenever I want. You don't have a say in this."

Remy swallowed hard. Sinister's body was cold and the metal surface bruised his skin. "You'll have to take me by force," he whispered, entranced. It was impossible to read Sinister's feelings, as his own were out of control. Shaking with fear he closed his eyes and thought of Logan; the trust they had managed to build, the pleasure the older man had given him. Because of Logan he had started to like himself again. Logan had made him see that it hadn't been his fault that Sinister had abused him and now he was back to square one.  "Lemme go," he added in a desperate tone.

"Never, my pet!" Sinister pressed his cold lips on Gambit's. The Cajun struggled to free himself and he tightened his grip. "You better accept your fate, LeBeau. You're mine for the rest of your life. You escaped twice, but this time you won't be that lucky! Now clean yourself up and crawl into my bed!" Frustrated, he slammed the door shut behind him.

Remy stayed behind, shocked and faintly hopeful. Something had upset Sinister and the scientist's departure almost resembled a retreat. Mebbe I got ways to fight him after all! But he still felt hesitant to disobey Sinister's orders. He filled the tub with warm water, and after staring at the transparent surface, he slipped out of his clothes. A mirror cast back his reflection and a soft sob struggled free from his chest. Only a few hours ago Logan had caressed his skin, giving him all the love he had ever craved and now he had lost it all! Depressed, he slid into the tub. The warm water caressed his skin and his eyes dropped shut. Tears lurked beneath his eyelids, but he was determined not to cry. Sinister could return any moment now and he wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction of seeing him cry… never!

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't bring himself to think up an escape plan. Sinister's unexpected appearance had shocked him and had catapulted him back into the past. Yet, something about Sinister's behavior was odd. Why hadn't the madman forced him yet? Why was he keeping a distance? Yes, Sinister had kissed him, but that didn't compare to what the scientist had done to him when they'd first met. Within the hour he had been pinned down against the wall and Sinister had taken a perverse pleasure in violating his body. The edge to Sinister's behavior had changed. I don' understand…

The warm water made him relax and lured him into sleep. Still half in shock his body wanted to shut down and his mind was trying hard to hide the bitter truth. Maybe this was just a nightmare. Soon, he would wake up and look into Logan's eyes again, feel the possessive arms around his waist, offering him protection and love. Non, I ain' dreamin'. I'm back in hell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Impossible! I can't have made such a mistake!" Sinister checked his latest test results. LeBeau never suspected that his room was equipped with sensitive sensors. Every scan he ran on Gambit confirmed his suspicions. All the sensors managed to pick up was the charging power and the empathy. Nothing about Gambit's charm power.

"Now what?" he muttered privately. He wasn't prepared to accept defeat this quickly. Yes, he had looked forward to the added effect of the empathy when taking Gambit, but now everything had changed. All he received from the young man was fear, anger and emotional pain. Had the charm still been there he would have crushed LeBeau to his chest and forced him right there and then, but now…

He needed the charm to get sexually aroused. His body was incapable of lust because of Apocalypse's manipulations and years ago he'd reveled in ecstasy when Gambit had once more conjured that lust in his body.

"What can I do?" he whispered. Maybe he should run a few scans on her to find the missing answers. He had to bring back the charm and keep the empathy intact. It might take time, but he was confident that he could do it. And then Remy LeBeau would give him the ecstasy and lust he craved so badly. After having tasted it a few years ago, he wanted it back!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy was dozing. The water was cooling down, but he was too listless to get out of the tub and dry his skin. He didn't want to put on the red robe, made of soft velvet. Easy access. Sinister only needed to pull the robe aside to touch him.

He kept his eyes tightly shut, trying to lock out reality. Hanging on to memories, he wished he were back at the boathouse in Logan's arms. What if Creed killed him? Would the X-Men come after him? Please… Mon Dieu, let dem care 'nough 'bout me to go after Sinister.

Hesitantly, he climbed out of the tub and wrapped his body in warm towels. Nothing had changed, not even the place where Sinister kept those towels. Reality bit him hard and briefly, he wondered if he had ever escaped Sinister's 'care'. Maybe he'd been dreaming about Logan and this wasn't a nightmare at all. What if this was reality?

Emotionally exhausted, he dropped onto his knees and wrapped his arms around his shaking body, hugging himself to gain a little comfort. Mon Dieu, I can' do dis!

You have to, a soft voice answered him.

Remy's head jerked backwards. He was finally losing his sanity, hearing voices that shouldn't be there. He startled, as something warm and caring touched his mind and suddenly, he realized that this was really happening. It wasn't just his imagination going mad. Something was touching his mind, sending him warmth and hope. He sighed heavily, still wondering if he'd gone mad at last. Can' be Sinister… he don' care 'bout me… As suddenly as the sensation had started, it disappeared again, leaving him with unanswered questions.

Suddenly, he became aware of Sinister's presence, closing in on him again. Steeling himself against the offensive feelings he quickly moved into the bedroom and slipped into the despised red robe. I want to have some clot'es on when he gets here. The thought of standing naked in front of Sinister almost made him heave violently.

Remy pulled the fabric closer to his body and his fingers dug into the velvet. Involuntarily, his eyes moved over the bed and he trembled fiercely as he located the spot where his fingernails had ripped away the plaster from the wall. Sinister loved to shackle him to that bed. Instinctively, he backed away from it until his back touched the wall.

The door opened and Sinister stepped inside. Remy shivered seeing the diabolical grin on the man's face. Mon Dieu, help me! Any moment now, Sinister would make his move.

Sinister used his shape shifting ability to change his form and his metal skin transformed into flesh. Pink skin replaced his armor and satisfied, he nodded his head, seeing shock and apprehension on Gambit's face. Nathaniel Essex had looked like this in the prime of his life, but Gambit had never seen him like this. The unexpected loss of LeBeau's charm power had changed his plans.

Shivering, Remy's eyes narrowed. What kind of game was Sinister playing this time? Essex looked human, but he knew the truth. Sinister was a shape shifter and only his appearance had changed. Inwardly, the bastard still planned on hurting him. The cold, which Sinister emanated, caused goose flesh to appear all over his body. The robe hardly offered him any protection, but he desperately clung to its warmth.

Slowly, Sinister approached his prey. "Come, my pet. I crave being inside your body and to feel your emotions… now!" A predatory grin crept over his face, as he closed in on the trembling young man.

Remy tried to get away from his nemesis, but the robe tangled his feet and he almost tripped over the fabric. Sinister's hands closed around his waist and he fought the tears that were swimming in his eyes. "Non, please don'…" He looked into Sinister's red eyes. Razor sharp hate swept through him, being this close to the man he loathed so deeply and in an unguarded moment he hissed, "Hate you, Sinister!"

That hate impacted hard as Sinister locked eyes with his prisoner. He'd never felt something this hot and sharp before and it moved through his mind, slicing it apart. "Damn you!" he yelled in return and threw the Cajun onto the bed. Clutching his head, he changed back to his augmented form. "Damn you, whore! You're wasting your love on Wolverine! You'll never see him again!"

Remy remained silent, staring in shock at Sinister's face. The red eyes burned with an unholy fire, but he sensed the pain in Sinister's mind. His hate had hurt the bastard. Got a lot more where dat came from!

Sinister recomposed himself. Looming over his prey, he whispered, "Wolverine is dead and the X-Men will never find you. I'll keep you here for my personal pleasure and I look forward to utterly breaking your will!"

He's serious, Remy realized in calm resignation. Sinister would never let him leave alone.

Sinister leaned forward and his right hand caressed the elegant neck. "I can kill you slowly, my pet." Sinister growled. The hate Remy radiated was getting to him. "But I plan on enjoying you first!"

Remy didn't flinch as Sinister slapped him across the face. A nail tore open the skin of his cheek, causing the wound to bleed. Sinister's red eyes revealed determination, but he had realized by now that he could use his hate to defend himself. It affects him! In a desperate effort he injected another wave of hate and pain into Sinister's mind.

"Damn!" Sinister exclaimed. I should have collared him! As he retreated into the corridor, he slammed the door shut. He had underestimated Remy LeBeau. He wouldn't make that mistake a second time and Creed was just the man to help him realize his plans.

Confused but feeling triumphant, Remy leapt from the bed. This was just a temporary victory. Sinister would surely return with a collar, but in the mean time he was going to savor this victory. After crawling into a corner, he folded his arms around his waist and pulled up his legs. He rested his head on his knees and curled himself into a small ball. Panting hard from the confrontation, he tried to steady his breathing. Suddenly, the alien warmth returned and circled into his mind. It left hope in its wake and he tried to examine its origin, but lost himself in the sensation. Can' give up now… The warmth gave him new strength and he stopped wondering about its origin. It was in his mind and he didn't feel that cold and alone anymore. "Logan, cher… je t'aime," he whispered solemnly and finally allowed the tears to run down his face. "Je t'aime…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jono stared at the darkened mansion. Light shone from a few windows and he wasn't sure he should telepathically call out, but on the other hand… Wolverine didn't look good at all and needed medical attention. He didn't really have a choice. Someone help me! He opened the car door to get Wolverine out. But the man was surprisingly heavy, had to be the adamantium!

We're coming!

The voice melted into his mind and he sighed, relieved. Someone had heard him and help was on its way. It was a most peculiar sensation to hear an alien voice in his mind. Emma Frost was a telepath and except for her, there hadn't been that many other telepaths in his head.

We're on our way!

This time it was a woman's voice that touched his mind and he looked questioningly at Wolverine. One arm was dragging over the ground. The rest of Wolverine's body was still on the car seat.

A small group of people suddenly dashed outside. He remembered their names and watched in surprise as they approached the car. Storm was flying, descending from the attic. Cyclops and Jean came running toward him and the professor was only a few feet behind him.

What happened? Jean quickly established a mental link between them so they could hear the telepathic conversation.

Jono was about to answer that question, as Beast appeared, his blue fur in complete disarray.  It definitely looked as if McCoy had been asleep. Remembering Jean's question he looked at her shyly. Was it really okay to use his telepathy like that?

"Yes, Jono," the professor answered and watched Beast pull Wolverine out of the car. Now tell us.  Angered, he noticed that Logan was collared. They all knew that without his healing factor, Logan would die from adamantium poisoning.

"I'm taking him to the med lab to remove that offensive item," McCoy decided and carried his friend into the house.

"Jono!" Scott exclaimed and tapped against his own forehead. "Where's Bobby?" He had read Jono's file as well, realizing how damn insecure Chamber was.

We'd left the bloody airport and suddenly, Wolverine slammed onto the hood of the car. Bobby helped me put him inside and then left for the boathouse to check on… Gambit? I drove here as fast as I could. Hopefully, he hadn't gotten anything wrong.

The group was following McCoy to the med lab and the professor allowed himself a moment to ponder the news. Anything else?

Yes, Wolverine mentioned some names… Sabretooth and Sinister and that they wanted Remy? He wish he knew what this was all about.

"What?" Scott turned in surprise as McCoy and Logan disappeared into the lab. "Damn! Why did I let them stay at the boathouse! Our security system is undergoing some repairs and…" Privately, he cursed his own stupidity.

Stop that, Scott. The professor concentrated on reaching out to Bobby. Can you hear me, Robert? He had to know if Bobby needed help and what the young man had discovered.

Bobby was checking the bedroom as Xavier's thoughts reached him. The house was a complete mess and the bedroom resembled a war zone. Yes, I can, professor. Remy's gone. I searched the entire house.

Charles drew in a deep breath. This was bad. Any traces of…?

It was Sabretooth all right. His claw marks are all over the place. They've left.

Return to the mansion. And be careful on your way back!

Of course, Bobby replied dazzled. He still couldn't believe that Sinister had taken Remy, not after the tear stained confession the Cajun had made. His icy blood almost boiled at the thought that Sinister would force his teammate again. "Can't be happening!"  he mumbled upset.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charles turned to Jono, Scott and Storm who were waiting for more information. "Sinister has Remy."

A deadly silence slid through the room. Scott blamed himself for not hurrying up the repairs on the security grid and Storm's face revealed a terrible worry. She knew that Sinister and Gambit had a history together, but didn't know the horrible truth behind it.

Hank? How is Logan? Charles inquired. They'd stayed out of the med lab to give McCoy a chance to work on his new patient. If he needed help, McCoy would let them know. Otherwise they would only hamper Hank.

I managed to get the collar off, professor.  He needs time to recuperate, but you can come inside. I suspect he will regain consciousness quickly now that his healing factor is active again.

Charles looked up. Jono appeared confused and strangely shy. He had to change that. "Scott, walk Jono to his room and tell him what he needs to know. Storm and I will look after Logan and await Bobby's return."

"Yes, sir," Scott said softly. Why couldn't Storm walk Jono? He was team leader. He had to know what happened in the boathouse.

I've got my reasons, Scott, Charles sent privately, shielding his thoughts from Jono.

Eventually, Scott nodded his head and gave in. "Come on, Jono."

Jono's glance shifted from the professor to Cyclops. This wasn't the way he had expected to arrive at the mansion! It was obvious that Scott wanted to stay here and not…

We'll tell you in time, Charles reassured him. You're welcome here, Jono.

Jono's eyes narrowed, as he realized just how strong Xavier was. He sometimes managed to keep Emma out if he wanted to, but Xavier was a different matter. Obediently, he followed Scott upstairs. He'd never been here and tried to memorize the place. The mansion was a lot bigger than his former 'home'. That was the closest thing I had to a home since…

"I put you in the room next to Bobby's. Hank's room is opposite yours, but he's mostly in the med lab, so you won't see him around that much. Jean and I have our rooms at the end of the corridor." Scott opened the door and gestured Jono to step inside.

Nice, thanks, he said courteously. The room was big enough for him to pace during his sleepless nights.

"Hank will see you once Wolverine feels better…" Scott studied Chamber, who looked edgy. It was all pretence, he knew that much. Deep down Jono was hurting really bad and… maybe he could help. He walked over to the window. "You know, Jono… we actually got something in common."

Surprised, Jono turned around and looked at the older man. And what would that be, mate? Ever since his arrival he had wondered about the X-Men. And now, here he was, talking to the legendary Cyclops, the leader of the X-Men. He'd never expected that the man would even acknowledge his presence with more than a nod of his head.

"Our powers have hurt us." Scott had thought this through. It might work. Chamber needed to know that he wasn't the only one struggling with his powers.

What are yer saying, mate? Jono moved away from Cyclops, feeling more uncomfortable with every passing minute. He didn't want to discuss this now!

Determinedly, Scott followed Jono through the room until he stood in front of the young man. "I can't control my optic blast and have to wear this visor all the time."

Jono tried to look away, but Scott's eyes followed his stare. That's what we got in common, mate? Shaking his head in disbelief, he wondered if Scott could even start to understand his pain.

"Yes," Scott continued determinedly. "I thought of myself as a monster when I was younger. A freak that could kill people by just looking at them…" Scott noticed Jono's startled expression. "Without the visor my optic blast destroys everything in its path. I need it, like you need your bandages, sounds familiar?"

Jono refused to respond. No way that Scott's situation resembled his! The visor doesn't make yer look like a monster, mate.

"You haven't been listening," Scott sighed. "I know it hurts. I know that others don't understand what you're going through… I know how traumatic it was when your power first manifested. It blew a hole into your body… But you're strong enough to overcome it!"

You can't understand. A film of tears was dancing in his eyes, but he refused to let go.

"That's a big fat lie!" Scott said through gritted teeth. "I do know what you're going through. I still vividly remember being told that I had to wear this visor for the rest of my life. But this is the most convenient way for you to keep people at a distance! I did that too, but it doesn't work in the long run." Scott walked over to the door. He didn't want to push the boy too badly, just make him think things over.

Jono was still in denial. No one knew what he had been through. No one could know what he was still going through! Scott Summers was full of shit!

Scott sighed, seeing the stubborn expression in Jono's eyes. "I need to check on Logan. You know where to find me when you're ready to talk." After saying that, Scott closed the door behind him. Let him brood on that! He'd accomplished what he'd set out to do, throw Jono off balance. Now he had to wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hank?" Scott entered the med lab and noticed Hank's relieved expression. Logan was lying on an exam bed, his eyes open and clear. Scott allowed himself to relax a little bit.  Logan looked like shit, but would quickly recover.

"Logan needs to rest and recuperate. I want him to rest for at least one hour." Hank checked Logan's latest readings and pleased, nodded his head. "Your healing factor is counteracting the adamantium poisoning. You will be fine."

Logan looked at the professor as if trying to remember what to say. In the end, only one word escaped his lips. "Remy?" The last thing he remembered was that Creed had left him in the cave to die.

"Seems like Sinister has him," Charles said softly.

A low growl fled Logan's throat. "Was my fault… I went feral and forgot that Remy was the target all 'long,"  he said, accusing himself. "Should have known better!"

Scott leaned against the wall. "Forget about putting the blame on yourself, Logan. We should concentrate on getting him back!"

"You know why Sinister came for him," Logan whispered. "I ain't sure Remy will fight Sinister."

Scott nodded his head. "Storm, would you please leave us for a moment?"

Storm objected, but a mental request from the professor made her give in and she left the med lab. Whatever they wanted to discuss, she wasn't privy to that information and had to accept that. She would wait for Bobby to return and try to find out more by questioning him.

Logan exploded the moment Storm left the room. "Sinister had better keep his dirty hands off him! I…" Suddenly, his voice died.

"I fear for him too," Charles said and gestured Logan to remain lying down. "You need to rest first. You can't fight Sinister when you're not fit."

"We're going after him…" Scott muttered. His tone wavered between a question and a statement. "But how do we find him?"

"Can you still feel him?" Hank asked the professor.

"No, but maybe Cerebro can locate him." Charles noticed the hopeful expression in Logan's eyes. "You've got to believe in Remy. Logan, you've got to believe that he'll fight Sinister."

Logan shook his head. "Ya don't know how much the bastard scares the kid."

"Your love will give Remy the strength he needs," Hank interrupted and rested a soothing hand on Logan's shoulder. "Now rest. I am certain that the professor will succeed in locating our Cajun friend."

Logan leaned back into the pillows. He hated himself for lying there idly while his lover was in danger. But Hank and the professor were right. They needed Sinister's location first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bobby was sliding back to the mansion, traveling at maximum speed. His thoughts circled around Remy who was back at Sinister's mercy. Every cell in his body urged him to seek out Sinister and return Gambit to the mansion. He could barely imagine the terror Remy was in now that his past had become reality again.

The night was dark and only the beams of the moon illuminated the sky. The mansion bathed in light and he increased his speed. He needed to know that Logan was fine.

Suddenly, a form slid through the moonbeams and he stopped in his tracks. He knew that outline only too well. What the hell was Rogue doing here? Hadn't she already done enough damage? Quickly, he changed direction and followed her. "Why is she heading for the mansion?"

Rogue landed and walked up to the door. She'd discussed this privately for hours and had finally reached a decision. As she slipped inside, she realized that someone was following her. Turning about, she looked into Bobby's eyes.

"What do you want, Rogue? We've got enough problems without you adding to them." Hearing the anger in his own voice surprised him. Was he this angry with her?

"Ah want ta help."

"Help?" Bobby repeated, stunned. "You can't assume that I'm gonna believe that. You left the mansion because you couldn't stand Remy moving back in here. What's the real reason you're back?" He was still in his ice form, not giving her an opening to overpower him. Hopefully, she wouldn't attain his powers and memories when she touched him in this form. No way I want her to know what Sinny did to Remy!

"Ah wanna talk ta the professor," she demanded and passed him by. She wasn't wasting her time on trying to convince Drake.

"I'm here, Rogue. What do you want?" Charles and Scott appeared at the end of the corridor, leaving his study.

"Make it quick," Scott added. He couldn't help but dislike Rogue. The conversation they had had before she had left the mansion had shown her a part of her that he disliked. She had lied, had tried to justify leaving Remy in Antarctica, but she hadn't convinced him. She didn't care about Gambit, didn't care about the team and he wondered if the professor still considered her part of the X-Men. He certainly didn't.

Rogue hesitated. She'd come here because she regretted ever trusting Magneto. She regretted handing Remy over to Sinister in Antarctica and wanted to make up for her mistakes. The X-Men wouldn't want her back on the team and she understood that. But she had to do this or her conscience would torment her for the rest of her life. "Ah know where Sinister took Gambit," she revealed eventually and handed Scott a disk. "It has the location of his base and its defenses."

Scott accepted the disk and looked at the professor.

"Go and check the information," Charles instructed. Bobby can help me if Rogue tries anything.

Scott only wavered for one second, then ran off to the control room.  He wanted Remy back ASAP.

Bobby had closely observed Rogue and had now reached a conclusion. "Whom are you working for Rogue? You betrayed us, didn't you?"

Rogue licked her lips. "Can't tell yuh that, Ice cube. Yuh know where ta find the swamp rat. Ah'm outta here."

"Rogue," Charles said determinedly. "It's not too late to reconsider your actions."

"It is," Rogue stated. "Ah made a decision and Ah'm gonna stick ta it. But Gambit… Ah never wanted him ta get hurt that badly.  Yuh gonna get him out?"

"We will," Charles promised.

She left the corridor, but before taking to the sky she looked at them both. "Ah'm sorry. Ah really am, but he promised me what I always wanted. Ah can't live like this. Need ta touch, need ta…"

"Don't trust Erik," Charles advised her, guessing the truth. "Erik always has a secret agenda."

Bobby's eyes widened at that statement. "You're working for Magneto?"

Rogue didn't deny or confirm it. "Get swamp rat outta there… Yuh might wanna hurry." After saying those words she flew away from the mansion. She didn't want them to see the tear that slid down her cheek.

"Professor?" Bobby stuttered, perplexed.

"I had suspicions for some time now," Charles admitted. "We'll deal with this later, Robert. Getting Gambit back is our prime objective." He reached out and found Scott's mind. Is the information accurate?

Yes, sir, looks that way. I'm already plotting a course. We can leave in one hour… Logan will want to come too.

Good. Charles directed his glance at Bobby. "You'll stay here and keep an eye on Jono. Emotionally, he's very vulnerable, Bobby. I need you here."

Bobby knew better than to object to this order and nodded his head. "I'll look after Jono."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy held his breath, as footfalls announced Sinister's return. He had no idea how much time had past. There was no clock in the bedroom, but he reckoned it had been hours. During those hours he had lost himself in daydreams about Logan. At times, he had almost been able to feel Logan's strong arms holding him. Logan had seemed so close. And then there was the peculiar warmth that had wrapped itself around his thoughts, delicately twining deeply into his mind. It almost convinced him that he was safe and that Sinister couldn't hurt him… almost. His heart knew the bitter truth.

Sinister's mind was dark and sharp edged, determined and confident. Remy sighed and pulled the robe closer to his shivering body. Since he'd settled down into the corner he hadn't moved. This time he wouldn't get away with projecting his hatred into Sinister's mind. The scientist would surely try to collar him and he didn't know how long he could fight Sinister off.

He shivered, also picking up feelings of rage and arrogance, which told him that Sinister wasn't alone. Sabretooth was accompanying him. I still remember Creed's mind from de boathouse. His fear returned. Had Creed really succeeded in killing Logan? Too afraid to even think of it, his mind backed away from the matter. Logan's 'live. Has to be 'live… please, mon Dieu!

As the door opened he cringed, but forced himself to get to his feet. Sitting down on the floor, he had no real means of defense. His fear became real as Sinister and Sabretooth entered. Creed was carrying a collar and Sinister's demonic grin revealed confidence. "Don' come closer…" 

Sinister pretended to be offended and mocked his prisoner. "My pet thinks it has permission to speak." He exchanged a glance with Creed. "He needs to be disciplined."

Remy flinched. His fingernails buried themselves deeply in the velvet of his robe. Creed and Sinister were only a few feet away and closing in quickly. "Stay 'way from me!" Sinister's anger hit him hard and he shook his head in a futile attempt to rid himself of the feeling. The warmth had retreated, leaving him cold and confused.

Creed was stealing closer to his right and Sinister was creeping up to him on his left. There was no way out for him, but he had to try. Once he wore that collar he was completely helpless. At least now he could still fight, use his powers.

Sinister nodded his head and Creed leapt forward, extending his clawed hands to take LeBeau down with him.

"Non!" Remy yelped and concentrated on the pain and hate he felt for both men. Creed seemed to halt in mid air and clawed at his own face, as if trying to tear away the alien emotions. "Stay 'way!" Remy repeated and grew hopeful as Creed crawled backwards on all fours.

But he had forgotten about Sinister. Essex used the opportunity to grab Gambit's shoulder and jerk him onto the floor.

"Non!" Remy yelped infuriated, as he realized Sinister's plan. He couldn't fight off both of them. The moment he focused on one, the other would attack. Eventually, he would lose.

Concentrating on Sinister, he projected every ounce of pain he had felt after the rapes into the maniac's mind. It worked… briefly. Sinister rolled off him, clutching his head, but at the same moment Creed advanced on him again. This time, he reacted too late and Sabretooth grabbed his wrists, pinning his back against the wall. He shivered. Casting these feelings into their minds had taken a lot out of him. It had drained him more than he'd expected and he lacked the energy to regroup.

"Sinister! Now!" Creed hissed and stopped Gambit's body from struggling. Holding his prisoner's wrists tightly, he pushed his knee between LeBeau's thighs, forcing them open. "Wouldn't mind a piece of this pretty boy myself," he whispered and bit deeply into Gambit's neck. "Love the taste of your blood."

Remy shuddered violently and remained motionless. He considered charging Creed's clothes, but Sinister moved more quickly and slapped the collar around his neck. He closed his eyes. His situation was hopeless. The collar took away his last means of defense.

"Get out, Creed!" Sinister ordered, and started to pull Sabretooth away from Gambit. "He's mine, don't forget that!"

"Pity," Creed whispered, and dragged his tongue over Gambit's face before turning away from the Cajun. "I don't mind leftovers…" he quipped, and then left the room.

His legs gave out on him and Remy slid down the wall, dropping to his knees. The collar was heavy and seemed to strangle him. Cut off from his powers, he immediately noticed the emptiness in his own mind. Even the memory of Logan's love had vanished.

"Look at me, child," Sinister commanded, but his prisoner didn't react. Angered, Sinister sat on his heels and grabbed a handful of auburn hair.

Remy no longer had a choice, and he stared into Sinister's red eyes. He didn't know what to say or do. Sinister would never let him go.

"I told you before that you're mine. You need to stop defying me. Now, get onto the bed!" Sinister jerked him forward and relished the frightened expression on Gambit's face.

Mechanically, Remy stumbled over to the bed and sank down onto it. All thoughts of resistance and hope had fled. He'd been a fool, trying to fight off Sinister. Lying on his back he stared at the ceiling. The mirrors were still there. How he hated them!

"Ah, no longer defying me, my pet?" His hands pushed aside the velvet robe, revealing Gambit's lean body. Suddenly, it angered him that Wolverine had possessed the Cajun. LeBeau was his.

"Tell me, Gambit," Sinister whispered as he slid onto the bed. Slowly, he crept closer until he eventually straddled LeBeau's hips. "Tell me," he repeated. "Did you give yourself freely to Wolverine? Why not do the same thing for me?" He had decided on this strategy before returning to his bedroom.

Remy trembled, as Sinister's voice penetrated his mind. "Don' mention him!" he spat suddenly. "Logan is…" Sinister backhanded him and Remy bit his lip until it bled. He wasn't going to show his pain. My lover, somet'in' you'll never be!

"He's dead. Forget about him!" Sinister let his hands wander over the Cajun's flawless body. It frustrated him that Gambit's nipples didn't grow hard. He wanted the Cajun to become aroused. Wanted to feel that arousal when taking the collar off, so he could reach his climax.

Remy's lips remained closed. The feel of Sinister's cold hands moving over his body made him shake violently.

Sinister took hold of Gambit's arms and pinned them above his head. With one hand, he kept them in place. "You love him, don't you?"

"Oui," the whisper escaped his lips involuntarily. Gathering his courage, he stared into Sinister's eyes, unyielding. "You don' know what love is, Sinister. You only want to hurt me."

"It doesn't have to be that way." His free hand moved down Gambit's abdomen. "Just obey me, my pet." His fingers curled in Gambit's pubic hair before moving further down and wrapping themselves around the Cajun's limp cock.

A desperate yelp fled Remy's lips, as Sinister continued to explore his body. "Don' want dis! Lemme go!" Sinister's face now hovered above him and the grin changed into a grimace.

"No, never." Slowly, Sinister executed his plan. First, his face started to change. The rest of his body followed quickly. Satisfied, he registered the shock in Gambit's eyes. "You will obey!"

In complete shock, Remy stared at Logan's face. Sinister had taken on Wolverine's form, his eyes, his muscular body… but the crude voice reminded him that this wasn't his lover. This was Sinister. "Hate you, hate you, hate you!" he yelled in utter loathing.

Sinister was growing impatient. He'd been willing to humor his pet a little, making it easier on Gambit because he craved the lust and passion that the Cajun had locked away inside his soul. "You deny me?"

Remy couldn't untangle himself from those blue eyes, so much like Logan's. "You ain' Logan…" he mumbled, beyond fear. Sinister would take what he wanted, with or without his cooperation, but if he gave into this illusion he could never again face Logan. "Hate you…" he whispered desperately, using the words as his mantra.

"Then have it your way, LeBeau. I don't take rejection well, you should know that from the last time I disciplined you!"

Remy turned his face away from Sinister. He didn't want to look at those blue eyes any longer. Unexpectedly, the enchanting warmth washed through his mind. It demanded his complete attention and drew his thoughts away from his tormentor. Sinister's evil presence was gone and he found himself in a golden mindscape, the warmth hugging him and not letting go.

Enraged at being denied, Sinister buried himself inside Gambit's motionless body in one smooth thrust. Panting hard, he continued to thrust, over and over again, desperately craving LeBeau's lust and arousal. It was the one thing that would lead him to his climax.

Remy's mind never registered the violation. The warmth had lured him out of his body and wrapped itself around his thoughts. A golden glow caressed his mind and he surrendered to the incredible sensation.

"Damn you to hell!" He needed Gambit's empathy to push him over the edge, to climax, but the Cajun had gone rigid. "LeBeau!"  Not getting a reaction, he considered removing the collar. No, that was too dangerous. Gambit could be trying to trick him. Frustrated, he slipped out of the Cajun's body and got to his feet. Like a rag doll, he threw Gambit into the blankets and wrapped them around the accursed empath. This plan had also failed. He needed Gambit awake and lucid. Aroused and willing to pleasure him. Now, how could he accomplish that? Marching out of the room he slammed the door shut.

Slowly, the warmth retreated from his mind, and Remy blinked his eyes. What had just happened? The last thing he remembered was Sinister looming over him and then this incredible warmth had lured his mind away from his body. Sitting upright, he looked about. The room was empty. Apparently, Sinister had left him alone after all. Warm blankets tangled his body and they pulled him back down into the comfort of the bed. He felt too drained to crawl into the corner again and besides… the bed was warm and comfortable. As long as Sinister wasn't close he could cope.

A small part of the warmth still moved through his mind, although the intensity had greatly diminished. Briefly, he got the impression that it was standing guard, ready to flare into the radiant fire he had experienced only moments ago. I ain' 'lone… Don' know what it is, mais it's friendly… As he closed his eyes, he shuddered, remembering the way Sinister's face had transformed into Logan's. Cher… are you comin' for me or did Creed kill you? Wavering between hope and despair, he clung to the remnant of that soothing warmth. His body shut down, and slowly, he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan curled his fingers tightly around the katana. "Takin' this with me," he decided, and returned to Scott, who was standing in the doorway. Scott had urged him to hurry up, but he had been determined to pick up his old weapon first.

"Logan, the Black Bird is waiting for us," Scott reminded him.  He'd never seen Logan this lost and, at the same time, so damn determined. "We'll get Remy out of there and take him home."

As the two men fell into step, Logan raised his eyes and glanced at Scott. "I wanna kill Sinister personally."

Scott sighed. "We already discussed this, Logan. You need to concentrate on Remy before even thinking of revenge."

"But what if the bastard… raped Remy!… hurt Remy?" Logan bared his teeth. "I promised to protect the kid and…"

Scott placed a hand on Logan's shoulder and for once, he didn't know the answer. "Come on, the others are waiting for us."

Logan nodded his head and slid the katana into the protective casing on his back. His subconscious told him that he had used the katana many times in the past, but the memory implants kept him from remembering the truth. "I'm gonna kill the bastard anyway," he hissed infuriated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Blackbird fired up her engines, and Scott took her out. Logan sat to his right, Jean, Storm and Hank in the back. Scott had asked them to keep an eye on Logan.

"How did ya get this information anyway?" Logan asked, flaunting his claws. In doing so, he sent them a message; don't get in my way when I get to Sinister!

"Rogue told us," Scott replied, opting for the truth.

"Rogue?" Hank's surprised voice overshadowed Logan's. "I wasn't aware of her return to the mansion."

"She only passed on the information and then left again," Scott informed them. Now, he had to tell them the rest as well. "Rogue's working for Magneto."

Logan's growl startled them all. "Are ya tellin' me that she betrayed us?"

"Yes." Scott looked over his shoulder and into Logan's eyes. "The Professor thinks that she and Magneto made a deal. That he would find a way for her to control her powers and in return…"

"She left Remy in Antarctica to die…" Storm mumbled, upset.

"Almost correct," Hank interrupted her. "She left him there for Sinister."

Scott nodded his head. "We think that Sinister and Magneto made a pact to get what they both wanted."

Logan's rage increased. "She left him there, knowing Sinister wanted him?"

"Logan," Jean said softly, trying to calm him down. "Rogue didn't know about…"

"Don't matter!" Logan sneered. Don't matter if she knew about Sinister's obsession or the rape!

"How much longer before we arrive at our destination?" Hank inquired, trying to change the subject. The last thing he wanted was Logan going primal.

"Three hours…" Scott looked at the controls. "Let's hope Sinister didn't move him to another base."

Logan remained quiet.  He was brooding and felt terribly enraged by Rogue's actions. Because of her, Remy was at Sinister's mercy. The katana was a comfortable weight on his back, and he planned on burying it deeply inside Sinister's body.

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Part 2