Title: Brys (sequel to the Greatest Secret of Them All)

Author: Morgana
Author’s Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon

Pairing: Elrohir/Brys

Rating: R
Summary: Brys faces his painful past and accepts that he is loved.

Disclaimer: Not mine. These characters belong to Professor Tolkien. No copyright infringement is intended.

Warning: AU of course. And yes, new OMC’s…. They seem to be determined to bother me!

Beta read by Patricia and DA, thanks sweeties!

All remaining mistakes are mine.

Brys

“I have something for you,” Glorfindel said and handed Brys a small box. “Open it.”

Brys sucked in his breath in surprise. “That’s for me?” He looked at Glorfindel with large, admiring eyes. Glorfindel had become his hero together with Bevyn and Elrohir and he adored all three Elves. “You got me something?”

Glorfindel was close to bursting into tears as he realized just how harsh Brys’ life had been in particular. He had spent more time with Brys than with Bevyn and at first, he had been worried that Bevyn would take it the wrong way. But Bevyn had understood and had actually encouraged him to keep Brys company. Bevyn had truly flourished the last few months. Elladan and Bevyn had become close and Glorfindel suspected they had become lovers some weeks ago. He didn’t worry as much about Bevyn as he did about Brys.

Brys opened the little box and blinked in surprise. “What’s that?”

Glorfindel took the necklace out of the jewelry box and placed it in Brys’ palm. “When I returned to Middle-Earth, this necklace returned with me. It is a family heirloom. My father had it made for me when I reached my majority. Námo was kind enough to let me keep it and now I want you to have it.” Glorfindel moved his son’s hair out of the way and went to place the necklace around his neck, but Brys moved away from him.

“I can’t accept it. It’s too valuable. It belongs to you. Your father gave it to you.”

“And now I am giving it to my son in turn.” Glorfindel closed the clasp and lowered the fair hair. Since Brys had bowed his head, he lifted it again with a finger beneath his son’s chin. “What is amiss?”

“You should give it to Bevyn instead. Not to me. I don’t deserve it.” Brys felt nervous and wished Glorfindel would take the present back. “I’m not worthy of the gift.”

Glorfindel pulled Brys close and hugged him tightly since he no longer had to mind his son’s injuries for they had healed. It was the emotional scars that worried him. “You are my son and I love you. You have every right to wear this family heirloom. It is my decision to gift this to you, Brys. Please accept that I love you.”

“I can’t accept that…” Brys lifted his head and gave his father a pleading look. “I don’t understand why you love me. Or why Elrohir loves me. What’s there to love?”

Glorfindel’s heart finally broke in two. It had started to do so for a long time, ever since he had met Brys. “You are a wonderful Elf, Brys. You are kind, gentle, and intelligent. Elrohir tells me that you have learned to read Sindarin and Quenya and that you literally devour one book after the other. He also tells me that you are a gifted artist. He thinks highly of the drawings you have made.” Brys’ expression softened a bit and Glorfindel knew he had to continue that way. “You care about your twin, about Elladan and Elrohir, and you love me back. What more can a father wish for? You make me proud, Brys.”

“But…” Brys realized Glorfindel was determined to make him see his positive sides, but what about his dark side? “I… I wished them dead…those men… I wished I could have defended myself. The way they used me…it hurt and I couldn’t stop them. I’m not much of a warrior…”

“You are a scholar, my son.” Glorfindel rocked Brys gently. “You do not need to be a warrior. You are yourself and there is no need for you to try to be someone else, but if you want to learn how to defend yourself, I shall teach you.”

Brys rubbed his cheek against Glorfindel’s shoulder and allowed himself to savor feeling warm and safe. “I’m glad we found you. I like you…”

Glorfindel failed to hold back the tear that slid down his cheek. “And I like you… very, very much.”

~~~

Brys eyed Elrohir, who had stretched out in front of the fireplace. “Why did you move the pillows and blankets over there?” The bed was empty and all of the pillows and blankets had found a new home in front of the fireplace. And amidst of all those pillows was Elrohir in only his evening robes. Contrary to Elrohir, Brys always went to bed fully clothed. He would slip into a long shirt and some comfortable leggings. The thought of sleeping naked made him uneasy for obvious reasons.

“It is going to be a cold night and being half-Elven has its drawbacks. I grow cold, contrary to you.” Elrohir raised his hand invitingly. “I thought we could sleep here where it is warmer?” He hoped Brys would agree.

Brys decided he could handle sleeping on the floor if that pleased Elrohir. He sat down on the rug and looked about questioningly. He suspected Elrohir had another reason to invite him onto the rug.

“This is romantic, do you not think so?” Elrohir had decided to take the first step in becoming more intimate with Brys. He didn’t plan on taking things far that night, but some kissing and caressing might be nice.

Brys instantly grew nervous. “Elrohir, I can’t… You know that…” Elrohir caressed his face and the caress made him look the half-Elf in the eyes. “I want to kiss and caress you, Brys. I want to show you how much I love you. That is all I want. Nothing more.”

“I’m nervous. I can’t help that.” Brys forced himself to lie down and move into Elrohir’s arms. “We’re only going to kiss?”

“And caress,” Elrohir mumbled as he touched a strand of the fair hair. “You still find it hard to accept that I love you.” Brys nodded. “Is that because your ‘master’ sold you to those men? Is it because of what they did?”

Brys gasped. Why was Elrohir bringing that up now? “Don’t you understand, Elrohir? I feel tainted…used…unclean…” He desperately tried to find the right words to describe how he felt. “I didn’t have a choice. They hurt me, Elrohir. They hurt me so easily. Why was I too weak to fight them off? They never raped Bevyn, just me.”

“I am sorry they hurt you like that.” Elrohir held Brys tight and kissed the fair hair. “It was about power, Brys. They loved inflicting pain on you.” Brys raised his gaze and looked at Elrohir. He needed to hear more. “Brys, if we ever decide to make love you will not feel any pain. Neither will you be on the receiving end. I want you to experience pleasure and not pain. I will also never touch you against your will.” Elrohir knew it was a victory that they were able to discuss the matter so freely. It was a first step in the right direction.

Brys blushed. “It’s not that. I want you to kiss me and I want you to touch me, but…I just don’t feel I’m good enough for you.”

“I want you, Brys, and you are perfect for me. I only want you, my love.” Elrohir gently claimed Brys’ lips and was thrilled when Brys allowed it. He had been afraid Brys would reject him, but it didn’t happen. “What do you say, my love? Shall we kiss some more?”

Brys smiled and, for the first time, the smile was free of fear. “Yes, kiss me.”

Elrohir touched his lips to Brys’ and kissed him again.

~~~

Bevyn walked next to Brys as they made their way to the library. It had quickly become one of Brys’ favorite places to dwell and Bevyn encouraged his twin to read and study. “So how are things between Elrohir and you?”

Brys grew flustered. “We kissed,” he confided to his twin.

Bevyn felt cocky and wanted to tell Brys that Elladan and he had already done more than *just* kiss, but he kept quiet, not wanting to upset Brys. “Do you want to do more?”

Brys lowered his gaze and stared at the floor. He should have known Bevyn would ask him something like that! “I want that, yes, but…”

Bevyn suddenly spun him around and forced him to look at him. “Brys, what happened wasn’t your fault. Those men were sick in their mind to do those things to you!”

“But they *did* do those things to me, Bevyn.” Brys sounded infinitely sad. “I can never forget about them. My body remembers what they did to me.” Suddenly he was pulled into Bevyn’s arms and he fought for breath because his twin’s embrace was so tight.

“You’re stronger than that, Brys! You are! You just have to believe you can overcome those memories! You can’t remain stuck in the past when you have so much going for you in the present!”

Bevyn’s outburst surprised Brys. “That’s what Glorfindel said…and Elrohir.”

“And our father is right to tell you that. Brys, you have Elrohir’s love. Why won’t you let him heal you?” Bevyn looked at Brys pleadingly. “Just think about it.”

“I will think about it,” Brys promised. He was beginning to understand that things had to change. And he was the only one who could change them. He had to change himself. He had to slip out of his old skin and into a new one.

~~~

Elrohir loved taking long baths. It was a good thing that the guest rooms came equipped with a large tub, large enough to easily hold two grown occupants. Elrohir had gathered his hair in a ponytail, hoping it wouldn’t become too wet that way. Next, he had filled up the tub with hot water and had added some rose scented bath oil. Since Brys was spending the afternoon with Bevyn, Elrohir had decided to indulge himself by taking a long bath.

He was under the impression that he was alone in the guest suite, but realized he had been wrong when the door opened unexpectedly. Elrohir looked at Brys in surprise. What was the other Elf doing there? What surprised him even more was the fact that Brys was naked beneath the morning robe, which shifted carelessly down one of the pale shoulders. Brys’ golden hair was loose and the green eyes shimmered with insecurity.

“May I join you?” Brys asked before approaching the tub. He had gathered his courage and had decided to take the first step to change himself that day.

“Always,” Elrohir replied, his voice reflecting his surprise. He raised an arm and gestured for Brys to step into the tub.

Brys drew in a deep breath, walked over to the tub, and dropped the morning robes. He quickly looked at the floor when Elrohir released a stunned gasp. “I hope you don’t mind me…” He paused in the middle of his sentence: he had forgotten what he had wanted to say. Elrohir’s fingers found his and the half-Elf pulled him into the tub. Brys placed first one foot and then the other in the warm water and then sat down. His golden hair floated on the surface and he peeked shyly at Elrohir.

“I am delighted that you have joined me,” Elrohir said. “But I am also surprised.”

Brys nodded his head and the fair locks danced on the water surface. “I surprised myself.”

“What caused this change?” Elrohir carefully maneuvered his legs until they rested alongside Brys’ and the golden-haired Elf mimicked his action. Elrohir rested his hand on Brys’ foot and started to rub it.

A sigh escaped Brys’ lips and he remembered the question Elrohir had asked him. “I talked to Bevyn and he finally got through to me. I finally understand what you, Bevyn, and Glorfindel have been trying to tell me.” It was still hard on him to call Glorfindel ‘father’, for he still didn’t feel worthy of being the Balrog Slayer’s son. “I have to change, don’t I?”

“You have to change the way you deal with your past, yes, but that does not mean you should change who you are.” Elrohir continued to rub Brys’ foot. “I like *you* and I do not want you to change into someone new.”

Brys offered Elrohir a smile and then immersed his hands in the water in search of Elrohir’s foot. It was only the first step in getting to know Elrohir more intimately, but at least he was taking it. Elrohir smiled brilliantly when Brys began to rub his toes and wanted nothing more than to pull Brys close and kiss him, but he also knew he had to pace himself. Brys had to set their pace.

~~~

After leaving the bathtub, Elrohir collected some towels and placed them on a stool. “Out with you,” he ordered and unfolded a towel so he could catch his wet lover in the fabric. Brys complied and stepped out of the tub before Elrohir wrapped a towel around the long hair. Then he took a second towel and started to dry Brys’ skin. Brys grew tense under his touch, but Elrohir tried to ignore it. He counted on Brys to tell him to stop should the other Elf grow uncomfortable.

Having Elrohir dry his skin was a novel experience for Brys. Yes, Elrohir had done this for him in the past, but back then, it hadn’t contained the sensual connotation it carried now. Elrohir’s hands moved all over his body, touching him through the fabric of the towel and, to his shame, Brys realized he was growing erect. “You should stop,” he said and wished his hair was still loose so he could hide behind it.

Elrohir had noticed Brys’ arousal as well but had chosen not to remark on it. Now he had no choice, but to address it. “Why should I stop? Is it because you find pleasure in my touch?” Elrohir had finished drying Brys’ skin and now wrapped the large towel around the fair Elf’s frame. He made quick work of towel drying himself and cocked his head to study Brys’ expression. “You did not answer me.”

Brys bowed his head and then nodded weakly. “Yes, because I like it too much.” He had seldom grown hard in the past. He had never had an erection when his ‘clients’ had abused him and the only time that he had found himself hard was in the morning after a night’s sleep. “This shouldn’t be happening.”

“And why is that?” Elrohir curled an arm around Brys’ frame and guided him back into the bedroom. He led Brys to the bed and pushed down the covers. It wasn’t that warm anymore since the fire had begun to die, but they would be warm in bed. “You should lose the wet towels before we go to bed.” He could see the war Brys waged within himself and was tempted to reassure the blond Elf that nothing would happen, but in the end, he remained quiet. This was a war Brys had to fight himself.

Brys’ answer came in the form of towels being dropped onto the floor. He crawled into the bed and waited for Elrohir to join him there. He was shivering, but it wasn’t due to the cold. It was because he was nervous.

“Thank you,” Elrohir mumbled, feeling grateful that Brys had decided to trust him. He let the towel fall onto the floor as well and then slipped into bed. He shifted toward Brys and opened his arms. After a moment’s hesitation, Brys slipped into them and Elrohir hugged the other Elf close.

“It’s not that bad,” Brys whispered once they were finally skin on skin.

“What did you expect would happen?” Elrohir loved the way Brys smelled of roses.

“I don’t know,” Brys admitted as he made himself comfortable in Elrohir’s embrace. He rolled onto his side, rested his head against Elrohir’s chest, and cuddled up to him. “I know that you will never hurt me. It’s just the memories which keep me back. I want to…know you…better, but I’m scared to take that step.”

“Because of the memories,” Elrohir clarified.

Brys nodded against Elrohir’s chest. “Yes, because of the memories.” He draped one arm across Elrohir’s abdomen and pulled the half-Elf even closer. “I love you too,” he whispered and pressed a kiss onto Elrohir’s shoulder. “And I’m grateful that you are giving me the time I need.” Elrohir tightened his hold and Brys didn’t feel restrained at all. Instead he felt safe and cherished. “I’m working hard on dealing with those memories and you’re helping.”

Elrohir stroked his lover’s damp hair and kissed the crown of Brys’ head. “I will wait for you until you are ready. There is no need to rush.”

Brys however wasn’t pleased with the progress he was making – he felt it was too slow and too little.

~~~

Glorfindel had long noticed the curious expression in Brys’ eyes, but so far, he hadn’t commented on it.

“Where are we going?” Brys was confused. He had never been to the training grounds before. It was a good thing that the snow had melted during the last few days or else they would be fighting themselves a way through the mud. The other day, Elrohir had remarked that spring was on the way and Brys had to concur. The air wasn’t that cold anymore and Arien shone longer and more intense.

“It is about time you learned the basic rules of self-defense,” Glorfindel replied and turned around. “Can you defend yourself at all? If I were to attack you, could you fight me off?” This was something Glorfindel had wanted to do for a while. He wanted Brys to stop feeling so weak and helpless and he hoped that teaching his son to defend himself would make Brys stronger emotionally and physically.

“Defend myself? Fight you off?” Brys blinked. “I don’t think I got that right.”

“You did.” Glorfindel removed his cloak and gestured for Brys to do the same. “I am going to teach you how to defend yourself in case you are ever attacked again.”

“But…” Brys cringed. “Bevyn’s the warrior! Not me.”

“That is about to change,” Glorfindel announced. “We are going to change that *now*.”

~~~

Bevyn blinked several times. “What happened to you?” Brys looked like a mess, but his twin was grinning and that reassured him a bit.

“Glorfindel taught me how to fend off an attacker.” It had taken Brys some time to get used to the idea of being physical with his father, but in the end, he had realized the benefits of learning how to defend himself. “He showed me what to do in case I’m attacked.” He lowered himself onto a chair and continued to grin at Bevyn. That day had been a good day. “I called him father for the first time ever,” he explained, seeing Bevyn’s puzzled expression. “You should have seen him smile! I made him happy!”

Bevyn shook his head in bewilderment. “He’s teaching you how to defend yourself… I should have thought of that!” That way, he could have empowered Brys! “And how did you fare?”

“Getting the hang of it took me a while, but in the end, I managed. I didn’t floor him of course. He’s much too strong for that, but I managed to keep him at a distance.”

Bevyn felt pleased about this development, but there was something else that he wanted to know. “How are things between Elrohir and you?”

“Better,” Brys said while still trying to catch his breath from running all the way back from the training grounds. Glorfindel had dared him and he had accepted the challenge. He hadn’t even minded that much that his father had won the race. “Last night, we went to bed naked.”

Bevyn chuckled. Elladan and he had long passed that stage, but he understood how important it was for Brys to have taken that step. “Do you desire him, brother?”

Brys grew flustered and tried to avert his gaze, but seeing Bevyn chuckle made him feel less self-conscious. “I do… But I don’t know what to do about it.” Bevyn’s eyes widened and Brys might have thought it comical if he had felt more confident. “Don’t look at me like that! I really don’t know what to do! What those men did to me was a travesty and I don’t know… I don’t know what will please Elrohir… What he wants me to do… or how I’m supposed to react.”

An immense sadness overwhelmed Bevyn as he realized that what was so easy for him – to love Elladan – was extremely hard on his twin. “Maybe I can help? Maybe I can tell you things you would like to know?”

Brys shrugged and, this time, he did lower his gaze. “Only if it doesn’t make you uncomfortable talking to me about it.”

“Oh, Brys, it doesn’t. I just want to help you! I failed you in the past and…” Bevyn grew silent as he saw the surprise in Brys’ eyes. “I did. I’m the oldest brother. I should have kept you safe, but I didn’t!”

“That wasn’t your fault!” Brys exclaimed loudly. “I can’t believe you would think that!”

Bevyn pulled his twin into a tight embrace and the two Elves held each other tight, each trying to exorcise their own personal demons.

~~~

Elrohir found a thoughtful Brys standing in front of the mirror upon his return to the suite they shared. He had encountered Glorfindel and the warrior had told him that Brys had learned to defend himself somewhat that day. Glorfindel’s face had been that of a proud father and Elrohir had felt grateful that the Captain was pleased with his youngest son. It was just what Brys needed. “Brys, why are you standing in front of the mirror?” He embraced his love from behind and joined Brys in staring at their reflection.

“I’m trying to see who I am,” Brys said, trying to explain. “I’m not the same person who you rescued that day. I have changed. I have become someone else and I don’t know who I am today.”

“You are Bevyn’s twin, Glorfindel’s son, my beloved, and well-liked in Imladris. I have heard that you even befriended frosty Melpomaen during your frequent visits to the library?”

“He isn’t frosty – he’s reserved. Like me, he doesn’t trust just anyone.” He had taken a liking to the hard-working Advisor and had even seen Melpomaen smile just once or twice at him.

“All right, then he is not frosty, but reserved. I trust your judgment.” Elrohir rested his head on Brys’ shoulder and smiled at their joined reflection. “It is true that you have changed, Brys. You have become stronger and I can see the light that burns inside you. It has been gaining in intensity for some time now.”

Brys turned in the embrace and looked Elrohir in the eye. “I love you and I want to express my love for you, but I’m nervous. What if I do something wrong?”

Elrohir shook his head. “You could never do anything wrong. I welcome any touch you wish to bestow on me, my love.”

Brys raised a shaky hand and stroked Elrohir’s dark hair. “Will you make love to me?”

Elrohir looked surprised. “Now?”

“Now…” Before his courage eluded him. “Please, I need to do this.”

Elrohir reassuringly nodded his head. “We shall make love, Brys, and I will do my very best to make it special.”

Brys blushed fiercely. “I’m nervous, but not scared.”

“Good,” Elrohir mumbled seductively in Brys’ ear. “It would not do for my lover to be scared during his first time.” He leaned in closer and tenderly claimed Brys’ lips, vowing to never hurt him. The younger Elf had already been hurt too much in the past.

~~~

They lay entwined in the afterglow of their lovemaking, arms and legs wrapped tightly around the other and their dark and golden hair intertwined. They lay on their sides facing each other and both Elves smiled happily at each other. Elrohir had done his best to make everything right for Brys and, judging by the way Brys looked at him, he had succeeded. “I love you,” he whispered and placed a tender kiss onto his lover’s brow. He had been on the bottom during their lovemaking and had enjoyed every moment of it once Brys had shaken off his fears and doubts and took him. “Thank you for making me feel like that.”

The blush that still lingered on Brys’ face darkened. “You made me feel good too.” Making love to Elrohir had been nothing like the experiences he’d had with his ‘clients’ and, although he wasn’t over all his fears yet, he was getting there. “I love you too. Will you always stay with me and love me?”

Elrohir drew in a deep breath and nodded his head. “I will always love you, I promise.” And with those words, he bonded with Brys.

Brys however didn’t know the significance of the words or the bond that came with them and repeated them. “I will always love you too, I promise.”

Elrohir smiled. They were bonded now. Brys was his and he was Brys’ – forever.

The end!